Dear Prudence,
I am a 38-year-old single gay man. I often watch guys masturbate on a popular cam site. I don’t perform on camera myself, but I like interacting with the guys who do, and I have a number of favorites. A few months ago, I found the stream of an 18-year-old guy whose routine I liked a lot. “Cam” quickly became one of my favorites, and I always tipped generously whenever I saw his show. He didn’t show his face, but his bio mentioned that he’s a high school senior who lives in the same metropolitan area as me and likes daddies. (He doesn’t know where I live.) I never suggested meeting up because the fantasy is enough for me.
This is where it gets weird. Cam’s voice sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it. He talked about wanting to show his face on camera, and one night he did. I was shocked when I realized he was the son of my co-workers. I’ve known him since he was about 14 via various “family night” activities sponsored by my employer. Cam has always been out and proud, and now that he’s of legal age, he’s clearly decided he wants to be very out. He’s an adult, at least according to the law, and has every right to do what he wants on camera to anyone who wants to watch. However, I worry that Cam could be setting himself up for trouble down the road, as I know that people record webcammers and post the videos all over the internet. I’m also fairly sure that Cam’s parents don’t know what he’s doing late at night in his bedroom. What’s more, he uses his real name on his stream, so it would be easy to track him down. Should I tell Cam’s mom and dad? Should I somehow tell Cam that I know who he is and that he should be more careful online? I want to make it clear that I’m not looking for permission to ask him out, have sex with him, be his sugar daddy, etc. I have not watched Cam’s stream since the night he went fully exposed. I probably won’t watch his show again, as it squicked me out a little watching a young man I know putting it all out there. What would you do?
—Webcam Recognition