Dear Prudence,
I don’t like to be the center of attention. I very happily just skipped having a 25th birthday party. I didn’t have a party when I got engaged, and I didn’t want a bridal shower. In the end I caved to pressure from my family and had one. While I’m grateful for all the time and planning that was put into the beautiful afternoon tea, it’s just awkward for me to make chit-chat for four hours with over 50 women I hardly know. Now that I’m pregnant, there is talk of a baby shower. I do not want one. Both of my grandparents are dead, so my formerly estranged extended family are all talking again, and it would be awkward to not invite them. I feel guilty that I’m taking away the experience of celebrating the first grandchild from both sides of my family, especially after so much loss over the past year. Am I being ungrateful for wanting to completely skip a baby shower?
—No Baby Shower