Wedding Woes

Wednesday

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Re: Wednesday

  • Ei - You can see the shock and weariness on all of their faces.  Being FDNY, they had probably seen a lot in their careers, but this was just something so unfathomable.
  • ei34 said:
    Sorry for your loss @sparklepants41

    I'm sure I'm not the only one judging from these stories but life feels very "before 9/11" and "after 9/11". I was a senior in hs and my father (FDNY) left for his shift that Tuesday morning.  He and his company were heading into the South Tower when one of his men (he was the Captain) was hit by a jumper and sadly died on impact.  As they were loading him into an ambulance the tower collapsed.  My dad obviously has strong survivor guilt and attends the firefighter's memorial mass every year.  It feels so weird being at work and my kids being at school, carrying about our days.  Today should really be a national day of remembrance.  Sending love to you all and to anyone you know feeling it today.

    One of my dad's old coworkers actually forwarded him this pic earlier- my dad is far right.  It was taken around 8pm that day.  The kids and I are heading to my parents' house shortly for our annual lets-just-all-be-together-and-have-pizza dinner.  That'll be nice. 



    I agree we need to do more to remember this day as a nation.   
  • @ei34 that picture just gave me chills. 

    My grandma's neighbor was also hit by a jumper, but survived. I can't remember if he was FDNY or a paramedic. But he's got lifelong physical effects from that day. It's amazing he lived. 
  • Oh wow Eileen. Hugs to your dad and family. Enjoy the togetherness. 

    Tbh I remember hearing about people jumping or falling but had no idea people got hit. It makes sense that it would have happened but I never thought about impact. 
  • @ei34 thank you for sharing that with us; I can’t imagine the feelings your dad mustn’t have around today. I agree we should do more to observe today as a national remembrance. I totally agree that the world feels pre-9/11 and after-9/11. 

    My Dad is a retired Air Force air refueling specialist  and he was on a mission in Washington that day. I was a junior in hs and my sister was away at college so it wasn’t just me and my mom at home. We didn’t talk to my dad until that afternoon and his unit were flying back to New York so that they could refuel the planes that were patrolling the no fly zone over the city. He said when they got there it was so quiet (no other planes in the sky) and the view from the air was unreal; I like anything he had ever seen up to that point (and he had been on missions in Bosnia). The world really did change that day in ways I don’t think we’ll ever truly understand. 
  • @ei34 thanks so much for sharing your story.  I always tell people I have a horrible memory.  And I do.  But do I remember that day well 😢 

  • @ei34 They look a lot more 'into' {lack of better words} the photo than I would expect. Also like @OliveOilsMom you definitely get a vibe of unfathomable shock.
    His line of work probably gives him more than his share of survivors guilt.

    Glad you guys do something every year.

    @CharmedPam After my dad, I learned that when traumatic things happen your mind will either remember everything, down to the last little detail {like I do} or the memory is so garbled you forget things or the timeline isn't correct {like my mum}
    I can't tell you how many times in 5yrs I've had to clarify things for my mum because she's either forgotten or it's in the wrong point of the evening.

    It's your brain/body's coping mechanism.
  • I find it interesting that people always post about "where they were, when" and I know M's aunt posts the same every year. The name of one of the jumpers that was caught on photo and it became essentially a viral photo.

    It's weird to think that it's essentially our generation's moment like when JFK got shot or - in a better thought - when Martin Luther King said his "i have a dream" speech.
  • banana468 said:
    @sparklepants41 sorry for you loss

    @climbingwife what a hero <3

    @banana468 it's true. It really didn't matter what channel ....


    Interesting fact, there's a touring theater play which you should all see if you have a chance called "Come From Away"
    It recounts about how Gander, Newfoundland took in a bunch of diverted planes into their small terminal.


    Tbh it sounds like how people felt when there was a shooting in my city - someone shot a soldier at the unknown soldier post and then tried to run into Parliament and one guy was hailed a hero because he took him down.
    Had the guy run in about 10min later, everyone would have been out of their offices, etc.

    Our whole city was in lockdown because they really had no idea what was happening and if there was going to be more people involved.
    I do not want to belittle the death of a soldier in your city or how he ran into Parliament.   This is just not comparable.    I'd compare what you stated into something more akin to the Boston Marathon bombing and the shut down of the city while the assailant was tracked down.

    Keep in mind what occurred: 
    -Terrorists coordinated the hijacking of FOUR PLANES.   
    -Two of those planes crashed  into the WORLD TRADE CENTER.   
    --In just one crash alone the headquarters of multiple companies were destroyed and that's before the buildings came down.  Cantor Fitzgerald lost their world headquarters and 658 employees. 
    --The buildings crashed and with them additional buildings (WTC 3 and 7) were also destroyed, others were severely damaged and others were deemed uninhabitable.   That included placed of employment and at least one place of worship.
    --Aside from the deaths, you could not get in our out of the city at all that day.   People and friends talked about how they walked up the streets in Manhattan and crossed bridges on foot into Queens or into Brooklyn.   
    --It had a HUGE effect that day on telecommunication.   My mom was teaching in Bridgeport, CT (about 60 miles away from NYC) and she couldn't use her cell.   The towers were unable to process the number of calls.  I tried calling my parents from my dorm room and multiple times I received auto notices that the switch boards were just unable to process my calls.   I watched fellow students trying to contact their relatives to confirm that they were safe and seeing panic because they didn't know where they were.
    --Other NYers here talked about how they had first hand experience with the jumpers.   These are people who knew what was coming and through open windows made split second decisions about death.
    --First responders are STILL feeling the effects.   Those who haven't passed from life threatening illness have PTSD, new or lasting medical problems or are suffering from terminal diseases directly related to the exposure to harmful chemicals/dust, etc found at Ground Zero.

    -The Pentagon, the location of our Department of Defense was attacked.   It took out a portion of the building and with it those working in that area. 

    -The entire country did not have commercial flights for DAYS.

    -This was pre-Netflix and streaming.   We watched live TV and all of it was the news even if the station wasn't previously broadcasting news EVER. 

    -Pro sports games didn't just stop that day but did for DAYS. 

    -The passengers on the 4th plane were hailed as heros because that plane was allegedly destined to attack another Washington, DC location.   Instead the people opted to crash the plane on a Pennsylvania field knowing that it was better for the country. 

    Oh! No no, I mean how people in the cities were on edge every time something slightly off happened shortly there after {hours, days, etc}
    Unknown of "what is happening" "is this real" "is there more happening in other spots of the city" etc

    Yes, I would clarify it was more like Boston vs 9/11 - I was referring to the shock and reactions.
  • banana468 said:
    @sparklepants41 sorry for you loss

    @climbingwife what a hero <3

    @banana468 it's true. It really didn't matter what channel ....


    Interesting fact, there's a touring theater play which you should all see if you have a chance called "Come From Away"
    It recounts about how Gander, Newfoundland took in a bunch of diverted planes into their small terminal.


    Tbh it sounds like how people felt when there was a shooting in my city - someone shot a soldier at the unknown soldier post and then tried to run into Parliament and one guy was hailed a hero because he took him down.
    Had the guy run in about 10min later, everyone would have been out of their offices, etc.

    Our whole city was in lockdown because they really had no idea what was happening and if there was going to be more people involved.
    I do not want to belittle the death of a soldier in your city or how he ran into Parliament.   This is just not comparable.    I'd compare what you stated into something more akin to the Boston Marathon bombing and the shut down of the city while the assailant was tracked down.

    Keep in mind what occurred: 
    -Terrorists coordinated the hijacking of FOUR PLANES.   
    -Two of those planes crashed  into the WORLD TRADE CENTER.   
    --In just one crash alone the headquarters of multiple companies were destroyed and that's before the buildings came down.  Cantor Fitzgerald lost their world headquarters and 658 employees. 
    --The buildings crashed and with them additional buildings (WTC 3 and 7) were also destroyed, others were severely damaged and others were deemed uninhabitable.   That included placed of employment and at least one place of worship.
    --Aside from the deaths, you could not get in our out of the city at all that day.   People and friends talked about how they walked up the streets in Manhattan and crossed bridges on foot into Queens or into Brooklyn.   
    --It had a HUGE effect that day on telecommunication.   My mom was teaching in Bridgeport, CT (about 60 miles away from NYC) and she couldn't use her cell.   The towers were unable to process the number of calls.  I tried calling my parents from my dorm room and multiple times I received auto notices that the switch boards were just unable to process my calls.   I watched fellow students trying to contact their relatives to confirm that they were safe and seeing panic because they didn't know where they were.
    --Other NYers here talked about how they had first hand experience with the jumpers.   These are people who knew what was coming and through open windows made split second decisions about death.
    --First responders are STILL feeling the effects.   Those who haven't passed from life threatening illness have PTSD, new or lasting medical problems or are suffering from terminal diseases directly related to the exposure to harmful chemicals/dust, etc found at Ground Zero.

    -The Pentagon, the location of our Department of Defense was attacked.   It took out a portion of the building and with it those working in that area. 

    -The entire country did not have commercial flights for DAYS.

    -This was pre-Netflix and streaming.   We watched live TV and all of it was the news even if the station wasn't previously broadcasting news EVER. 

    -Pro sports games didn't just stop that day but did for DAYS. 

    -The passengers on the 4th plane were hailed as heros because that plane was allegedly destined to attack another Washington, DC location.   Instead the people opted to crash the plane on a Pennsylvania field knowing that it was better for the country. 

    Oh! No no, I mean how people in the cities were on edge every time something slightly off happened shortly there after {hours, days, etc}
    Unknown of "what is happening" "is this real" "is there more happening in other spots of the city" etc

    Yes, I would clarify it was more like Boston vs 9/11 - I was referring to the shock and reactions.
    It still isn't the same.   Shock and reactions are valid.   They are what you and your fellow citizens processed relating to an incident.  But that incident was related to one person and the actions he took with some type of a gun.

    This was the worst terrorist attack in history.   Please try not to compare and instead seek to understand. 


  • Last week, I was reading some of the lead-up articles that were being published, and thought about the "where I was" factor. I was in 7th grade, and I have a very clear image of seeing the towers fall on live TV, at home (I was homeschooled through 8th), in Indy. I did not expect to start crying just thinking about that, but I did. 18 years later. When I'm sure I couldn't fully understand the impact at the time I was experiencing it... but obviously had some idea.

    And that is so, so, so, so far removed from the experience of anyone who was old enough to understand more then, in the vicinity of NYC, etc. Even further removed beyond that is the experience of the first responders, those who lost people, and those who are still losing people from this attack.

    We're still processing it, obviously.
    This is how I feel too. Our fear of not being able to reach my dad for most of the day was nothing compared to what people downstate were experiencing. Who then experienced that terror day after day after day. 
  • Crying feeling the love from everyone defending the gravity of the day.  This past July the 200th firefighter died from 9/11-related cancer.  My dad was forced to retire a few years ago after being diagnosed with 9/11-related kidney cancer.  He's lost a kidney but is in remission.  9/11 doesn't go away.  The only thing I like about the day now is that everyone talks about it, shares their story...it's sad but cathartic to not feel like the only who thinks about the day.

    @charlotte989875 your story, not being able to reach a parent in the military, is definitely traumatic IMO,  and on a stress level with downstate/tri-staters.  Not that stress can be measured but it sounds so scary 
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