Wedding Etiquette Forum

Picking a date in relation to other weddings?

Hi all,
My partner and I have been engaged for 4 years this year, and have been waiting to get married until we were both out of school.
My sister got engaged last year, and she checked with me about getting married before us since we didn't have a solid date at the time (weren't sure how much more schooling my partner was going to be doing).
She's planning a more traditional big white wedding for early summer 2020, and I'm her MOH, and couldn't be more excited for them.
Over the last few months though, my partner has made some decisions about school, and he'll now be done in time for what we originally wanted to be our date, which is our 10th anniversary fall of next year. 
My question is, is it inappropriate to plan (a very small, 12 person backyard) wedding, the same year my older sister is getting married? Is there anything I should do to make it less weird/inappropriate if it is? 
TIA 

Re: Picking a date in relation to other weddings?

  • Hi all,
    My partner and I have been engaged for 4 years this year, and have been waiting to get married until we were both out of school.
    My sister got engaged last year, and she checked with me about getting married before us since we didn't have a solid date at the time (weren't sure how much more schooling my partner was going to be doing).
    She's planning a more traditional big white wedding for early summer 2020, and I'm her MOH, and couldn't be more excited for them.
    Over the last few months though, my partner has made some decisions about school, and he'll now be done in time for what we originally wanted to be our date, which is our 10th anniversary fall of next year. 
    My question is, is it inappropriate to plan (a very small, 12 person backyard) wedding, the same year my older sister is getting married? Is there anything I should do to make it less weird/inappropriate if it is? 
    TIA 
    Everyone gets their one day. That’s it. There’s no timeline moratorium on weddings. Plan your wedding for the date that works best for you and that your VIPs can attend (if you’re having guests, which you said you’re planning on). It’s not inappropriate at all to have a wedding in the same year. 


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  • Totally fine for you to get married the same year as your sister. Don't worry about it.
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  • Now, if you were choosing the same wedding you're planning on the same day as your Sister, that'd be worthy of a little side-eye.  This - nope - no worries or anything, you get a day and she gets a day, enjoy them to the fullest!  Just let people know as soon as possible that are your VIP guests.  Also, recognize backyard for 12 can easily be more expensive than going out to dinner at a nice restaurant without having to lift a finger for 12!  
  • MesmrEwe said:
    Now, if you were choosing the same wedding you're planning on the same day as your Sister, that'd be worthy of a little side-eye.  This - nope - no worries or anything, you get a day and she gets a day, enjoy them to the fullest!  Just let people know as soon as possible that are your VIP guests.  Also, recognize backyard for 12 can easily be more expensive than going out to dinner at a nice restaurant without having to lift a finger for 12!  
    100%. Treat yourselves to a lovely, worry free restaurant reception!  No weather worries, no last minute snafu’s......definitely a day to be treated royally!!  Find one that may have both an indoor and outdoor dining option to get the best of both potential worlds!!
  • My sister and I got married the same year! I got married in May, she was married in December. We talked it all out with our parents (I don’t think they were annoyed when she picked but that’s on them) and VIPs. Funny enough two of my cousins (also sisters) got married the same year as well (July and August). It was a ton of fun because we saw each other so often that year. 
  • Totally agree with the other PPs.

    Technically, everyone gets ONE day.  Personally, I wouldn't have wanted to have my wedding within 1-2 months of my sister or an extra close family member/friend.  But that's also just me.  Different seasons, even on the same year, is great and I couldn't imagine anyone having a problem with it.  And if they do, whelp, they're the one who's in the wrong, lol.
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  • There's absolutely no etiquette rule around when you can get married in relation to when anyone else gets married. Nothing to ask permission for or to run by anyone. 

    Practically, I would consider potential for repeated travel with overlapping guest lists with someone as close as a sibling, but with a few months and your small list it should be fine. 
  • My sister and I got married the same year! I got married in May, she was married in December. We talked it all out with our parents (I don’t think they were annoyed when she picked but that’s on them) and VIPs. Funny enough two of my cousins (also sisters) got married the same year as well (July and August). It was a ton of fun because we saw each other so often that year. 
    One of my sisters and I were engaged three days apart and married in Feb and Aug of the next year.  Two cousins were also married that year.  Everyone gets one day.  
    Ditto advice to discuss the dates/logistics with VIPs but otherwise go ahead.  
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