Dear Prudence,
My sister has struggled with miscarriages for years. I thought she and her husband were taking a break from trying to conceive. I am currently pregnant with a baby girl. We decided on “Ava” as a name, and I confided this in my mother. She later told my sister, who sent me an email telling me I can’t use that name. It was the name she gave the daughter she miscarried earlier this year. I didn’t know she’d had another miscarriage. My husband suggested we just change the name to “Eva” as a compromise to spare my sister’s feelings and keep the only name we can agree on. But my sister is still upset. She called the name a “sick joke” and told me I was making her relive her loss. I don’t know what to do here. Apologizing seems pointless, and we are not going to change the name again. I don’t want to hurt my sister, but I can’t seem not to.
—Renaming Baby?