My wonderful boyfriend of nearly two years is truly a gem. We met just a month after my 18-year-old brother unexpectedly died. He wasn’t afraid of my grief, took me exactly as I was, and saw me through some of the lowest points I’ve ever endured. A year into our relationship, my father unexpectedly died—again, he was a rock star. He was supportive and loving. He’s funny, charming, kind, physically attractive. I couldn’t ask for more.
Except for one thing: His family won’t allow him to leave the city we both live in for any longer than a few hours. Literally. We are in our early to mid-20s, and he’s not “allowed” to visit my hometown (a one-hour flight from the city where we live) for an overnight trip. He still lives at home (it’s an expensive city), and he can’t afford to move out just yet.
I’ve stated and reiterated that visiting home is very important to me. I’ve experienced so much loss, and my mom is chronically ill. I want him to spend time with my family and see where I grew up. He says he understands but doesn’t want to fight with his mom about this. We are allowed to stay the night together at his family home (we share a room and a bed). I’ve tried to talk to his mom about it as well, but mostly get shooed away. What do I do?
—What the Hell?