Registry and Gift Forum

Wishing Well Help

So I've decided to do a wishing well for my bridal shower. I would like to a holiday themed one where guests bring in holiday decorations for Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving, etc. However, I'm having a problem with the wording for the wishing well theme. Can someone please help?

Re: Wishing Well Help

  • So I've decided to do a wishing well for my bridal shower. I would like to a holiday themed one where guests bring in holiday decorations for Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving, etc. However, I'm having a problem with the wording for the wishing well theme. Can someone please help?
    Is this one of those things where you ask your guests for money? If so, don’t do it. It’s rude to ask for money. 


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  • Levioosa is right.
  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited June 2020
    Wishing wells are a thing in my circle.  Or were, I haven't seen one for several years.  So not dated per se, but I thought they were on the way out.  It's not a cash thing, guests bring a small something to put in.  Like measuring spoons, a dish towel, or a spatula. Something under $5. 

    OP my concern isn't with having a wishing well but that you're a bit over-involved in planning your shower.  If someone offers you to host one, you can give a guest list when you know how many people the host(s) can have, and dates that work for you.  The host will decide theme, if there's a wishing well, how to word things.  If you want holiday decorations, register for them.  That's a nice shower gift, it's something you'll use in your home.  And you get to pick out which ones you like.

    eta spelling
  • There's nothing for you to word. You shouldn't be planning your shower or writing invitations. 
  • You should not be planning your own shower. 

    I've always known wishing wells to be like stated above - small, inexpensive kitchen tools. I've never seen it done for holiday decorations, and I feel that could be costly. People are to buy something off your registry AND bring you holiday decorations? 
  • It's not a cash thing. If you read my original post, it's asking people to give a little holiday decoration of their choosing. It's optional but I thought it would be fun to do a literal holiday one instead of asking for people to give money, more kitchen supplies, or whatever else. I'm not expecting everyone to donate an expensive item. I went to a shower in March where guests were asked to bring scratch offs and lotto tickets which I think that was tacky but did anyway. Another bride asked for Christmas ornaments because she loves Christmas. 

    Second, I am involved in planning my shower since it's just my mother and I. I have no sisters, SILs, aunts, grandmothers, etc. We have lost most of our family in the past 2 years. My MOH lives across the country and has shown barely any interest in anything besides her own wedding. So yes, I have to be involved in the planning.  

    Thanks for the non-help and support <3.
  • It's not a cash thing. If you read my original post, it's asking people to give a little holiday decoration of their choosing. It's optional but I thought it would be fun to do a literal holiday one instead of asking for people to give money, more kitchen supplies, or whatever else. I'm not expecting everyone to donate an expensive item. I went to a shower in March where guests were asked to bring scratch offs and lotto tickets which I think that was tacky but did anyway. Another bride asked for Christmas ornaments because she loves Christmas. 

    Second, I am involved in planning my shower since it's just my mother and I. I have no sisters, SILs, aunts, grandmothers, etc. We have lost most of our family in the past 2 years. My MOH lives across the country and has shown barely any interest in anything besides her own wedding. So yes, I have to be involved in the planning.  

    Thanks for the non-help and support <3.
    Yes, that was tacky. Knowing that you thought it was tacky, why would you want to copy it?

    It's still rude to plan your own shower. If no one has the time/interest and offers to do it for you, the answer is to not have a shower. 

    If your goal is to embarrass yourself, none of us can stop you. But we tried to help you avoid that. There's no way to help you throw your own shower without being rude. 
  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I still think simply registering for holiday decorations is your best bet.  I don't know what time of year your shower will be, but holiday decor is really only in stores leading up to the holiday. Are guests supposed to shop online/pay shipping for a Wishing Well?  Even if it's going to be in Oct-Dec, most holiday decor is a touch to a lot more expensive that the cost of a typical Wishing Well gift.  I agree that the scratch off wishing well was tacky AF, but your idea is possibly inconvenient and a bigger financial ask.  I don't mean to rain on your parade bc I love love love decorating for the holidays, but I'd just register for decor.
  • MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Curious.  It seems to be a way to get gifts in addition to gifts LOL  I suppose if I grew up with that sort of tradition, I would not be entirely opposed to it, but it seems like a double dip.  I liken it to baby showers that find not so subtle ways to ask for secondary gifts like books in lieu of cards, or the tacky diaper raffle.
    If it stuck with the traditional wishing well concept of helping with basic kitchen tools, I might be on board.  But anything beyond that just reeks of just getting a little extra "something".
    https://www.bridal-shower-ideas-for-you.com/bridal-shower-wishing-well.html


  • MobKaz said:
    Curious.  It seems to be a way to get gifts in addition to gifts LOL  I suppose if I grew up with that sort of tradition, I would not be entirely opposed to it, but it seems like a double dip.  I liken it to baby showers that find not so subtle ways to ask for secondary gifts like books in lieu of cards, or the tacky diaper raffle.
    If it stuck with the traditional wishing well concept of helping with basic kitchen tools, I might be on board.  But anything beyond that just reeks of just getting a little extra "something".
    https://www.bridal-shower-ideas-for-you.com/bridal-shower-wishing-well.html


    Yeah - an "add an ornament" could be a little thing for the wishing well but I would phrase it as something totally extra.   
  • Regardless of who is "officially" hosting your shower or how you are related to them, it's still not appropriate to be so closely involved in the planning.

    I agree that the scratch-off idea is tacky. But I also agree with @ei34 that if you want Christmas decorations as shower gifts, your best way of making that known while still being polite is simply to register for them. And if people ask you directly what you want, you can tell them where you're registered. But I don't see any polite way of "wording" invitations to your shower that indicate what gifts people should bring.

    Something else: Regardless of how you indicate what you would like to receive as gifts, you may not receive them at all. You'll still have to graciously acknowledge the gifts, whatever their nature, that you do receive. 
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