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Wedding Woes
charlotte989875
member
The first day of the longest week of the year
charlotte989875
member
in Wedding Woes
Happy Monday folks, it’s going to be a long one. I made the mistake of posting on FB that we won’t likely see election results tomorrow and two Trump supporters mansplained polling to me, a PhD in Political Science.
Re: The first day of the longest week of the year
BK didn't wanna dress up on halloween {we were going to have her dress up for funsies} but Sunday she made us wear headbands a lot and dressed up, so .... sure.
She's definitely a bit off, but slept well with the hatch considering time change.
It affects me more I swear. Even as a kid I was all messed up to the point my mum would have to spend 2 weeks prior and 2 weeks after adjusting bed times by 15min
M & I had basically one long argument of different parts on Saturday.
But in the end there's stuff we need to both work on. Things aren't fully resolved but tbh neither of us expected it to be resolved - it's a lot of his ADHD, me deflecting and us figuring out how to work better together vs against.
We have decided that the kitchen is going to need the most work. We're redoing the cabinets at the very minimum.
Peel and stick tiles didn't work. They were too thin and you could see the tile underneath, so we're looking into other options. {epoxy paint is still an option}
We're currently looking at ikea for cabinets as a starting point. They kinda have the style I like, and I seem to have a lot more opinions on this than M does.
If it weren't for condo fees, we probably would put more money into the house and just not move {and finish the basement} but honestly, condo fees are ridiculous
I am not optimistic but remain hopeful. I think DH and I will watch Schitt's Creek instead of the returns tomorrow night. As East Coasters we won't get anything other than "this just in" without actual facts. Thanks - I'll see what's going with David and Patrick instead.
I will make sure I vote and cross my fingers for the local elections but will drink bourbon and try to forget what day it is once I know who my state senator and representative are.
I won't be watching. I voted and have a BidenHarris sign in my yard and there's not much more I can personally do. I'm very scared about results and also not optimistic but trying not to be a downer. This week is crazy busy at work thank goodness.
BIL/SIL and other SIL came over on Saturday to play with the babe and hang out. It was the first time we've seen them in a few months. SIL/BIL seem to be getting back to their "normal" selves after the miscarriage and I'm so happy that they agreed to come over. We definitely want to tell them our pregnancy new first and privately (before we tell H's family) but are unsure of the best way to do it. I know they'll be happy for us, but also it will be really hard to hear I think (it would be for me). I just want them to have the freedom to feel however they feel and not worry about a happy/excited reaction for our sake.
My parents are coming again this weekend since we will be quarantining for 2 weeks before thanksgiving with H's immediate family. Excited to see them again
I found out this weekend that 2 of my best friends are going back to Australia. One leaves beginning of December and the other in February. So 2021 is starting off on a bad foot.
I'm going to say I'm not watching returns, but it's a damn lie, so I'm not even trying to fool myself, I'll be drinking and watching. The polysci major/political hound in me will never allow the turn off of an election night. I might just take care of what I watch/look at. I'll have enough anti-anxiety meds for tomorrow night too.
I took Wednesday off b/c I knew Tuesday was going to be a shitshow for me. I'm getting my hair dyed. I'm hoping for a dark grey with a hint of blue. I also told my hairdress that I didn't really give AF, just push the boundaries of "professional" and let it ride.
And Halloween was a success! MIL arranged for their neighbors in the condo area to pass out candy and the kids were masked trick or treaters. After we hit those houses we went on our own downtown and many homes had bowls set out. Some even set up tables and had bars or baggies of candies separated so you only needed to touch one. My FAVORITE house was the one that taped candies to sticks and put them in the front yard like graves. Our last minute trip for costumes to Costco was great and Chiquita was in the air force while Chiquito was on the SWAT team. Both allowed for layering under the costume so the 38 degree temps didn't suck too bad.
At least local results should be in the news the next day. I'm very interested in many of those also. There were seven amendments and the Republican party advocated "yes" for all of them. The Democratic party advocated "yes" for some of them. From my POV, if both parties recommended "yes", than that is probably a good amendment! Lol. I still read about each one and did chose to vote "yes" for the ones that had both parties in agreement.
I have to complain about one of them because I find it deeply, deeply troubling and I also think most voters have NO idea what it really means. So it's probably going to be passed in this red-ass state. The amendment was for banning late-term abortions if Roe vs. Wade is overturned. I didn't know this, but apparently there is already a law on the books that will ban abortions in Louisiana if that happens. So, why then...if abortions would already be illegal in that event...would there need to be another one banning "late term abortions"? What a great question. Because "late term abortions" are the vast, vast majority of the time MEDICALLY NECESSARY ones and wouldn't necessarily be included in the current "no abortion" legislation. But that's awesome//s. Let's put a mother's life in danger...so confused because aren't anti-abortion people called Pro-Life...for (often) a fetus that is no longer viable and/or a baby that won't live long, even if it makes it to being born.
My mom voted for Trump in the last election. But I think she is undecided this time around (crossing fingers). We were having a long text conversation about medical insurance and the ACA, especially pre-existing conditions. I pointed out that, while most Republicans are now giving lip service to pre-existing condition protections (they largely didn't before) the fact of the matter is, if the ACA is removed WITHOUT something to replace it...and they've had YEARS to figure out something better...then it doesn't matter if "everyone" wants those protections. They will be gone and medical insurance will go back to their usual "go die in the street" attitudes.
We're going to watch. One of my friends currently has her Trumpy parents living with her, so we've made plans for her to come here and watch. We'll probably numb the pain with some drinks. I am not optimistic at all.
Obviously I'd never buy a Trumpy bear. But if they have a mass shredding of the leftover ones, I would pay to see that, lol.
Friday, DD got to wear her costume to school and she was so excited! I didn't have to repeat myself a thousand times telling her to get dressed! LOL! I sent in cupcakes and Cheez Its for their party and said to share the cupcakes with other classes (since it was a big BJs pack) - well we now have 15 cupcakes left since they sent home the extras!
We had such a great weekend! DD was soooooo good for us, even with the extra sugar in her system. Saturday, our ToT hours were from 2-6. We set up our table in the driveway and got some chairs to relax in. DD loved putting more of the treat bags out for the kids. We also took her around to 3 neighbor houses (her first time house to house), since they were set up at the street with tables. After the 3rd table, she wanted to keep going, but we just said that it kiddo and she was like OK! And that was that!
Sunday MIL came over and H and I went to go order the countertops. We explained that we need to keep the cabinets for a while longer, but that in about 10 years, we will probably be ready for the full gut job. He steered us away from the corian and higher end formica and told us to go with their standard stock. It will be much more economical and will also allow us to buy a small kitchen island to replace the one piece of cabinetry that isn't good anymore. We will make the purchase this week sometime, with H borrowing one of the large vans from his job for us to easily do a pick up. The downside is we will be doing it ourselves! LOL! The monetary savings are worth it though.
I don't think we will know the winner until Thursday and am scared that the Commander in Thief seems to have a plan to already state he wins on Tuesday. That will rally his most deplorable base and who knows what they will do. We have seen the Biden/Harris bus run off the road and bridges/highways in NJ going into NY put to a standstill, in just the last week and its not even election day yet.
Casenda - I would tell SIL/BIL over the phone. Maybe even by text, so they have time to compose themselves and also have some private cries too. "SIL, this isn't how we wanted to tell you, but we want you to be the first to know. We know this news will be hard to hear and please take anytime to yourselves that you need. We are expecting a baby in Month. Know that we love you and are still thinking of you guys all the time." Even with them doing well, this news will probably pull them back. I had a big meltdown months after I felt "back to normal" after my miscarriage.
Weekend was good. We carved pumpkins Saturday and roasted the seeds. My girls dressed up as a mermaid and a narwhal and were super adorable and my parents came over for pizza and we hit a few neighbors houses masked and distanced. Sunday, I went to pay my respects to a coworkers Husband who passed. He had an accident 2 years ago that left him severely brain-damaged. My heart is just broken for everything her family has gone through.
In exciting news, my Husband and I have decided to move forwarded with finding a new home! We have been talking about it for a few years and now seems like a good time so we are going to start seriously looking. We are just having a hard time deciding how much work we are willing to take on. My Husband is no contractor but he is very handy. He went to a trade school for construction in his 20’s before changing career paths. He dabbles in woodworking (has made small furniture pieces and built a deck and installed our wood fence) and has successfully done tile-work, flooring and drywall.
Any tips from people with more experience? We are exciting by the prospect of getting a great deal on a fixer upper and really making it our own but do not want to get in over our heads.
I will not be watching any coverage tomorrow. I plan to hit the gym and then the meditation room at my new apartment. I don't even want to drink, because I know then I'll be tempted to check.
and yes, I moved into my new place this weekend! It's beautiful. I'm on the 39th floor and the views have been just amazing. One drawback - I had no idea my dog was terrified of elevators. She's been in one before, but never to go up so high. She's a country dog, now a city dog! I'm sure she'll get used to it in time. I tried giving her treats during the ride, but she's been too stressed to eat them while I'm trying to give them to her.
In other news, there were tRump caravans all over my area yesterday and I'm just so disgusted. They shut down a bridge, and blocked many highways.
Congrats on deciding to get a new home! I LOVE fixer uppers. That has been my strategy to accelerate my real estate investing. You can save tons of money, even with a house that only needs a little bit of fixing up.
My general advice is to expect things to take twice as long and be twice as expensive as you think it will be. I'm kind of kidding, lol.
For whatever "tasks" a potential house might need, some things to consider are material costs and the time it will take for your H to complete them and/or if you'll need to hire other labor.. Just because your H can put in hardwood floors and repaint all the bedrooms, doesn't mean he has the time to (assuming he already works f/t). And can the jobs needed be done over a long period of time or does it need to happen faster?
Another thing to consider is how much are you saving by buying a fixer upper that needs XYZ, as opposed to a house that doesn't. And how much is that worth to you. If your H can't or doesn't have the time to do all XYZ amount of work, that doesn't mean it isn't still a smoking hot deal even if you have to hire some of the rehab jobs out.
You don't necessarily need to have "perfect" numbers or know exactly the amount of time it takes for everything I mentioned above. But if you can get it in the ballpark, that will help analyze if a particular fixer-upper is the right choice for you all.
Here's the other thing about rehab, though. You usually can't include those rehab costs in a typical home loan, so you need to have your own money available. There are other kinds of loans out there where you can and they can be great options too. But they are more complicated and your interest rates are usually higher, at least while the rehab is happening. And you also usually need to use a licensed general contractor, which defeats the purpose if your H is going to be doing most of the work DIY. The FHA 203K is probably the most commonly used rehab loan for homeowners.
If you have questions at any time in the process, please feel free to post any questions here or you can PM me. There isn't much construction-wise that my H and I haven't tackled. And tackled many times, lol. Especially flooring (various kinds), full interior paint, and new basic kitchens. OMG, ALWAYS those things when we acquire a new property, lol.