Wedding Woes

Blizzard Monday

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Re: Blizzard Monday

  • So downside about leaving payment as is - loan will take 79 months {just over 6 years} from now to pay off.

    I'm not sure I'll get the reduced payment for loan 1 after March 31st {it's not always a guarantee}

    I mean .... neither I was thinking about doing as a l.o.c until I knew my tax refund anyways.
  • MJL - SIL has been trying to find a tele-therapist, but most are bogged down with Covid mental health issues.  She even works for a hospital system and that isn't helping her get in anywhere.  MIL is limited to therapists recommended for Medicare.

    I'm jealous you could get the vaccine at any time!  I got the first available appointment and it was for June 8th!  I am keeping up and checking back from time to time for a better appointment time.  There are also a few local ones that aren't scheduling that far out.  I'm hopeful that I will be able to get in sooner.
  • @OliveOilsMom has your H talked to his mom at all since this?  It has to be hard as hell on both of them and it's raw.  However accusations like that are only going to hinder MIL's relationship with SIL and her grandkids. 

    We're in a state where I believe approx 10% of the population has been vaccinated but so far neither DH nor I are in the groups to receive.  I am hopeful for progress that we'll  have our doses by summer since even my parents (ages 69 and 72) are not yet on the list.  

    Also, since no kids have been approved to receive it yet it's also not exactly like we can achieve herd immunity when they're not exactly an insignificant part of the population. 
  • Just saw that Dustin Diamond - Screech from Saved by the Bell - died today. I saw in the news a week or two ago he had cancer. It says he was just diagnosed in January, how sad to have it all happen so quickly
  • It really is @kvruns, he went through some hard times in his life.  May he RIP now though.

  • banana468 said:
    @OliveOilsMom has your H talked to his mom at all since this?  It has to be hard as hell on both of them and it's raw.  However accusations like that are only going to hinder MIL's relationship with SIL and her grandkids. 

    We're in a state where I believe approx 10% of the population has been vaccinated but so far neither DH nor I are in the groups to receive.  I am hopeful for progress that we'll  have our doses by summer since even my parents (ages 69 and 72) are not yet on the list.  

    Also, since no kids have been approved to receive it yet it's also not exactly like we can achieve herd immunity when they're not exactly an insignificant part of the population. 
    H talks to MIL everyday.  He said she was similar when FIL died very unexpectedly and its how she grieves.  She has been known to clutch onto coffins during the funerals of her parents, if that gives an idea into her grief process.  So he doesn't agree with what she says, but is also immune to the words she says and knows its grief talking. He will call her out on some of the really ridiculous stuff, but this time she said it in front of SIL, who spoke up before either of us could. We've been explaining since BIL passed in Nov, why SIL did not get the autopsy.  It was pretty clear, MIL just cannot accept the facts.
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited February 2021
    We currently have 27" of snow on the ground and are leading the state in snow total with at least 18 more hours of snow to come. I quit winter. 

    I was up until 2 last night trying to get our monthly invoices to run, but our system is so janky that nothing happened. I love my job, but these tech issues are going to drive me insane. Every time they update our CRM system, it breaks my finance module. Every time. Since 2017. At least it's job security because no one else in the company knows all the workarounds to get this done!
    ~*~*~*~*~

  • Quiet weekend. I actually was looking forward to work today and it went well. I also had a Shakespeare acting class tonight and that was fun.

    For those on the East Coast, stay safe and warm!
  • 27" of snow?!? I would cry
  • We currently have 27" of snow on the ground and are leading the state in snow total with at least 18 more hours of snow to come. I quit winter. 

    I was up until 2 last night trying to get our monthly invoices to run, but our system is so janky that nothing happened. I love job, but these tech issues are going to drive me insane. Every time they update our CRM system, it breaks my finance module. Every time. Since 2017. At least it's job security because no one else in the company knows all the workarounds to get this done!
    I'm born and raised up north, but 27" at once would also make me quit winter!  Stay safe.  Sorry about your work system woes.
    image
  • banana468 said:
    @OliveOilsMom has your H talked to his mom at all since this?  It has to be hard as hell on both of them and it's raw.  However accusations like that are only going to hinder MIL's relationship with SIL and her grandkids. 

    We're in a state where I believe approx 10% of the population has been vaccinated but so far neither DH nor I are in the groups to receive.  I am hopeful for progress that we'll  have our doses by summer since even my parents (ages 69 and 72) are not yet on the list.  

    Also, since no kids have been approved to receive it yet it's also not exactly like we can achieve herd immunity when they're not exactly an insignificant part of the population. 
    H talks to MIL everyday.  He said she was similar when FIL died very unexpectedly and its how she grieves.  She has been known to clutch onto coffins during the funerals of her parents, if that gives an idea into her grief process.  So he doesn't agree with what she says, but is also immune to the words she says and knows its grief talking. He will call her out on some of the really ridiculous stuff, but this time she said it in front of SIL, who spoke up before either of us could. We've been explaining since BIL passed in Nov, why SIL did not get the autopsy.  It was pretty clear, MIL just cannot accept the facts.
    I'm sorry.  I can't remember what factors there were that contributed but it's rough.

    I'm also the DIL of a person that can have a tricky ability to accept reality.  It makes things less than pleasant and you have to pick and choose your battles.   That said, I'll voice my statements carefully if she treads from zones where she's incapable of controlling her behavior AND her feelings.    It's going to be rough for your DH and MIL and hopefully with time the wounds begin to heal. 
  • banana468 said:
    banana468 said:
    @OliveOilsMom has your H talked to his mom at all since this?  It has to be hard as hell on both of them and it's raw.  However accusations like that are only going to hinder MIL's relationship with SIL and her grandkids. 

    We're in a state where I believe approx 10% of the population has been vaccinated but so far neither DH nor I are in the groups to receive.  I am hopeful for progress that we'll  have our doses by summer since even my parents (ages 69 and 72) are not yet on the list.  

    Also, since no kids have been approved to receive it yet it's also not exactly like we can achieve herd immunity when they're not exactly an insignificant part of the population. 
    H talks to MIL everyday.  He said she was similar when FIL died very unexpectedly and its how she grieves.  She has been known to clutch onto coffins during the funerals of her parents, if that gives an idea into her grief process.  So he doesn't agree with what she says, but is also immune to the words she says and knows its grief talking. He will call her out on some of the really ridiculous stuff, but this time she said it in front of SIL, who spoke up before either of us could. We've been explaining since BIL passed in Nov, why SIL did not get the autopsy.  It was pretty clear, MIL just cannot accept the facts.
    I'm sorry.  I can't remember what factors there were that contributed but it's rough.

    I'm also the DIL of a person that can have a tricky ability to accept reality.  It makes things less than pleasant and you have to pick and choose your battles.   That said, I'll voice my statements carefully if she treads from zones where she's incapable of controlling her behavior AND her feelings.    It's going to be rough for your DH and MIL and hopefully with time the wounds begin to heal. 
    BIL was on blood thinners.  He had his wisdom teeth removed and was only supposed to stop taking his blood thinner for 2 days before.  He stopped for 5.  A few days after the surgery he was raking leaves, when his heart attack started.  SIL, H , me and the medical examiner believe he died when a blood clot went to his heart, all based on his medical history.  The ME did not feel an autopsy was necessary, but SIL was given the chance to have one performed.  She declined.  MIL is hung up on SIL still not getting the autopsy, even though the medical facts are pretty clear.  BIL was also a smoker, but if you ask MIL, he was the epitome of health.
  • banana468 said:
    banana468 said:
    @OliveOilsMom has your H talked to his mom at all since this?  It has to be hard as hell on both of them and it's raw.  However accusations like that are only going to hinder MIL's relationship with SIL and her grandkids. 

    We're in a state where I believe approx 10% of the population has been vaccinated but so far neither DH nor I are in the groups to receive.  I am hopeful for progress that we'll  have our doses by summer since even my parents (ages 69 and 72) are not yet on the list.  

    Also, since no kids have been approved to receive it yet it's also not exactly like we can achieve herd immunity when they're not exactly an insignificant part of the population. 
    H talks to MIL everyday.  He said she was similar when FIL died very unexpectedly and its how she grieves.  She has been known to clutch onto coffins during the funerals of her parents, if that gives an idea into her grief process.  So he doesn't agree with what she says, but is also immune to the words she says and knows its grief talking. He will call her out on some of the really ridiculous stuff, but this time she said it in front of SIL, who spoke up before either of us could. We've been explaining since BIL passed in Nov, why SIL did not get the autopsy.  It was pretty clear, MIL just cannot accept the facts.
    I'm sorry.  I can't remember what factors there were that contributed but it's rough.

    I'm also the DIL of a person that can have a tricky ability to accept reality.  It makes things less than pleasant and you have to pick and choose your battles.   That said, I'll voice my statements carefully if she treads from zones where she's incapable of controlling her behavior AND her feelings.    It's going to be rough for your DH and MIL and hopefully with time the wounds begin to heal. 
    BIL was on blood thinners.  He had his wisdom teeth removed and was only supposed to stop taking his blood thinner for 2 days before.  He stopped for 5.  A few days after the surgery he was raking leaves, when his heart attack started.  SIL, H , me and the medical examiner believe he died when a blood clot went to his heart, all based on his medical history.  The ME did not feel an autopsy was necessary, but SIL was given the chance to have one performed.  She declined.  MIL is hung up on SIL still not getting the autopsy, even though the medical facts are pretty clear.  BIL was also a smoker, but if you ask MIL, he was the epitome of health.
    Parental denial  :( 
  • banana468 said:
    banana468 said:
    @OliveOilsMom has your H talked to his mom at all since this?  It has to be hard as hell on both of them and it's raw.  However accusations like that are only going to hinder MIL's relationship with SIL and her grandkids. 

    We're in a state where I believe approx 10% of the population has been vaccinated but so far neither DH nor I are in the groups to receive.  I am hopeful for progress that we'll  have our doses by summer since even my parents (ages 69 and 72) are not yet on the list.  

    Also, since no kids have been approved to receive it yet it's also not exactly like we can achieve herd immunity when they're not exactly an insignificant part of the population. 
    H talks to MIL everyday.  He said she was similar when FIL died very unexpectedly and its how she grieves.  She has been known to clutch onto coffins during the funerals of her parents, if that gives an idea into her grief process.  So he doesn't agree with what she says, but is also immune to the words she says and knows its grief talking. He will call her out on some of the really ridiculous stuff, but this time she said it in front of SIL, who spoke up before either of us could. We've been explaining since BIL passed in Nov, why SIL did not get the autopsy.  It was pretty clear, MIL just cannot accept the facts.
    I'm sorry.  I can't remember what factors there were that contributed but it's rough.

    I'm also the DIL of a person that can have a tricky ability to accept reality.  It makes things less than pleasant and you have to pick and choose your battles.   That said, I'll voice my statements carefully if she treads from zones where she's incapable of controlling her behavior AND her feelings.    It's going to be rough for your DH and MIL and hopefully with time the wounds begin to heal. 
    BIL was on blood thinners.  He had his wisdom teeth removed and was only supposed to stop taking his blood thinner for 2 days before.  He stopped for 5.  A few days after the surgery he was raking leaves, when his heart attack started.  SIL, H , me and the medical examiner believe he died when a blood clot went to his heart, all based on his medical history.  The ME did not feel an autopsy was necessary, but SIL was given the chance to have one performed.  She declined.  MIL is hung up on SIL still not getting the autopsy, even though the medical facts are pretty clear.  BIL was also a smoker, but if you ask MIL, he was the epitome of health.
    That's so rough.   And they have kids right?  

    That's the only reason why if this keeps up your H may need to speak up.  I get it.  With MIL and FIL and their opinions vs. facts you need to stay quiet sometimes.  

    I'm on the edge of this with MIL right now with a situation in SIL's family.  SIL and BIL have lost two kids due to a genetic condition and SIL carried both to term.  SIL's sister is expecting, is not married and the baby's father has multiple issues that make his likelihood for parental success fairly low.  MIL commented about how "I told (other son) how unfair this must feel when they wanted to grow their family," and her word choice makes me infuriated but I try to avoid telling her to STFU because one has nothing to do with the other and doing that is not helping anything nor is it changing anything.  
  • mrsconn23 said:
    banana468 said:
    banana468 said:
    @OliveOilsMom has your H talked to his mom at all since this?  It has to be hard as hell on both of them and it's raw.  However accusations like that are only going to hinder MIL's relationship with SIL and her grandkids. 

    We're in a state where I believe approx 10% of the population has been vaccinated but so far neither DH nor I are in the groups to receive.  I am hopeful for progress that we'll  have our doses by summer since even my parents (ages 69 and 72) are not yet on the list.  

    Also, since no kids have been approved to receive it yet it's also not exactly like we can achieve herd immunity when they're not exactly an insignificant part of the population. 
    H talks to MIL everyday.  He said she was similar when FIL died very unexpectedly and its how she grieves.  She has been known to clutch onto coffins during the funerals of her parents, if that gives an idea into her grief process.  So he doesn't agree with what she says, but is also immune to the words she says and knows its grief talking. He will call her out on some of the really ridiculous stuff, but this time she said it in front of SIL, who spoke up before either of us could. We've been explaining since BIL passed in Nov, why SIL did not get the autopsy.  It was pretty clear, MIL just cannot accept the facts.
    I'm sorry.  I can't remember what factors there were that contributed but it's rough.

    I'm also the DIL of a person that can have a tricky ability to accept reality.  It makes things less than pleasant and you have to pick and choose your battles.   That said, I'll voice my statements carefully if she treads from zones where she's incapable of controlling her behavior AND her feelings.    It's going to be rough for your DH and MIL and hopefully with time the wounds begin to heal. 
    BIL was on blood thinners.  He had his wisdom teeth removed and was only supposed to stop taking his blood thinner for 2 days before.  He stopped for 5.  A few days after the surgery he was raking leaves, when his heart attack started.  SIL, H , me and the medical examiner believe he died when a blood clot went to his heart, all based on his medical history.  The ME did not feel an autopsy was necessary, but SIL was given the chance to have one performed.  She declined.  MIL is hung up on SIL still not getting the autopsy, even though the medical facts are pretty clear.  BIL was also a smoker, but if you ask MIL, he was the epitome of health.
    I'm so sorry MIL is having a very hard time coming to terms with it all.  I can only imagine how hard this is, but taking her shit out on SIL is so inappropriate.  Grief is such a messy thing.  I hope they can both find help soon.  

    Also while MIL wasn't a smoker, so much of what you're describing is so similar to the contributing factors in her death.  She clearly died of a heart attack or a thrown clot. 

    Would the autopsy have been at the expense of your SIL or the state?  If there was such a clear medical history and it would have been at SIL's/the estate's expense, then it's extremely logical.  
    To the bolded, yes, I think it would have been at SILs expense.  I also tried to say that too, after SIL left, but MIL just thinks the money should have been spent.  It also never would have explained where the clot came from, just where it landed, which we know where it landed due to the heart attack.

    BIL/SIL had no children.  DD is MILs only grandchild.
  • kvruns said:
    27" of snow?!? I would cry
    MNNEBride said: I'm born and raised up north, but 27" at once would also make me quit winter!  Stay safe.  Sorry about your work system woes.
    The snow slowed way down overnight to just be flurries and lasted until just before 6 tonight. The last official reading I saw was 30" last night. We have a large driveway (12+ cars), and we ran out of space to put the snow about halfway through plowing this afternoon. We just spent over an hour trying to shovel out some of the unplowed snow so we can plow more tonight.

    On the plus side, my invoices finally finished so I don't have to deal with this janky system again for a couple of weeks. On the downside, I still can't get to the post office to mail these damn invoices!
    ~*~*~*~*~

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