Hi, it's my first time posting here! My fiance and I got engaged last week after 6 years together. We are both 22 and have talked about the wedding and life we want together for several years now. I would appreciate some outside perspectives.
The main issue is we are both about to graduate undergrad. We both want to enter graduate school the next immediate year. However, neither of us want to go if the program will be held online due to covid - we would defer for a year. I feel very stressed and unsure trying to decide when to get married. It's important to me to do within the next few years, but I also don't want to be foolish and put ourselves into debt, or stress ourselves out way too much while in school. However, I am not very excited by the idea of waiting until after we graduate, especially if we defer another year. I am realistically worried about money, as we both have worked and supported ourselves entirely through undergrad and will continue to do so in grad school.
My partner is sort of leaning towards waiting until after we graduate, but I am worried that we'll be just as busy then with doing internships and things like that that we need to do for the careers we want. Almost like 'will there ever be a time when we aren't busy'? I feel like we always will be, so we might as well just plan it..that was the debate before covid. And now, with covid, I don't even want to begin planning because I want to be sure that this is over before setting anything. To be fair, I think after we graduate we would be making more money, so that could be one problem reduced. It feels so hard to talk about a budget when we don't know what job I will be working in grad school (I'm currently in an undergrad-only student position), if we'll even be in school at all next year...there's so much to think about.
There is another reason towards waiting that I might post elsewhere about. I have spent most of my undergrad either very sick or very busy with work, and as a result have a pretty small social group. I have very dear friends, but they don't live in the same state. I really hope for the opportunity to meet some good, close friends during grad school, to have more support in my own life and to have people that live here to celebrate with. It's felt very isolating trying to celebrate our engagement during covid with...not a ton of people to tell.
I'm aware that there's not any real rush, etc, but this is something that I want very much. I feel ok about our ability to plan a wedding and have it during school, but I don't have a lot of people to talk to about this, so again, I would appreciate some opinions. I feel like my life is going to change drastically next year, and it feels absolutely impossible to even talk about a budget or planning a wedding when I'm not sure if I'll be in school, what job I'll be working, if we are in school if we'll be able to tell if the stress will be manageable, etc.
I'm sorry for the long post! I hope this is alright. Thank you in advance