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Classic: Your friend is right, DTMFA

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes
For the past two years my husband Harry and I have struggled with infertility. As a teen I dealt with an STD that could have affected my ability to have children. For that reason, and because Harry said his sperm count was fine, I have always blamed myself for our inability to conceive. We’ve kept our struggle with infertility very quiet. Thankfully, our families have never pressed us about when we’re going to have kids. Last week I broke down to my wonderful mother-in-law about how difficult this experience has been. She frowned at me then said, “Harry reversed his vasectomy, then?” I was shocked, because Harry never mentioned having a vasectomy to me, but apparently he had one as a young man. When I spoke to Harry he admitted that he hasn’t reversed the vasectomy and that he wasn’t sure he wanted kids. He thought if we tried for long enough and never conceived I’d eventually give up trying. He’s apologetic, because he never realized how much I blamed myself for our infertility. He has offered to have his vasectomy reversed or to adopt a child to make his lie up to me. My best friend thinks Harry’s a sociopath, though, and that I should divorce him for being incredibly cruel. I’m in shock, devastated, have no idea what to do.
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Re: Classic: Your friend is right, DTMFA

  • CasadenaCasadena member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    What kind of person could do that to their spouse.  Get out now. 
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    banana468 said:
    This absolutely falls into deal breaking territory.  Hell, it's grounds for an annulment in the Catholic Church.  

    There's a big difference if Simon CHOOSES not to have children versus if Simon - er Harry WON'T have children and he should have disclosed all of this to Daphne long before they wed. 
    Bridgerton GIFs Tenor
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Your friend is right, this is abusive, get out now. 
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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    So he allowed you to think your inability to conceive was entirely your fault, AND he lied about wanting kids at all, probably one of the absolute most important topics for a couple to be in agreement on? 

    Yes, I think that constitutes abuse, and you shouldn't have children with this man no matter how sorry he claims to be. Get out of there and call a lawyer ASAP.
    image
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Totally a Simon moment.

    yeah GTFO, LW is 100% in the right here.

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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    MIL gets the "This is someone you want in your life" ... As for the H...  This is dealbreaker territory and LW has some decisions to make...

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