Your sister sucks and you shouldn't feel bad.
Dear Prudence,
My father was married a few times before he met my mother, and they had my brother and me. My father is older and is extremely difficult to be around. My brother and I are both under 18, so we still live with both of our parents. My oldest half-sister ended her relationship with my father because he didn’t approve of her having children out of wedlock. But we’re still in contact with my other half-sister, who’s in her late 20s. She has always been controlling and judgmental, to the point where I’m always uncomfortable around her.
At the beginning of quarantine, my mother and I wanted to cancel Christmas and Thanksgiving, because we were worried about the health risks for my dad. My half-sister and her husband thought COVID was a hoax, and since they normally celebrated those holidays with us, they took it personally. She convinced my father that we were “controlling” him and made him separate himself from us. It was clear that she was manipulating our family to cause friction and resentment. I called her to explain my reasoning and to apologize to keep the peace. Even though I called to clear up confusion, she found ways to attack me and to list all of the ways she felt we were affecting her.
My father invited her and her husband and kids over, and she refused to talk to me, ignoring me the whole time. They did not even say goodbye, which was very different from past times. I have not contacted her since, and she has not contacted me. She only speaks with my dad, and I am actually enjoying her absence from my life. I don’t think her presence is healthy. Am I wrong to feel this way? Should I attempt further to patch things up?
—Don’t Miss My Sister
Re: Your sister sucks and you shouldn't feel bad.
If it's problematic to have a relationship with her, you don't live with her and not having a relationship with her is moving along swimmingly then just keep swimming.
Sometimes the trash takes itself out.
LW should let go of the relationship without guilt. I also hope LW is close to being able to leave home because it sounds extremely unhealthy. LW does sound very mature and that they see things for what they are, but the pull of your family of origin and behaviors/traditions (no matter how unhealthy) is very strong. I hope once LW gets out, they can keep this level-headedness about them and can compartmentalize their family relationships.
They are too young to be worrying about the relationship they have with their adult half-siblings and especially to be worrying about the relationship their father has with his daughters.
They should be polite if/when their sister is around again but, outside of that, the onus isn't on them to patch things up. Especially since their life sounds so much better without the sister and her family in it.
Even better if they don't need to see those people in person, until after COVID is not a threat or at least the LW is old enough to have gotten vaccinated. Because you know people who don't believe in COVID will be no-mask wearing, anti-vaxxers also.