Dear Prudence,
My boyfriend, “Chris,” is obsessed with a famous pop star, “Sparkle.” We are both gay men in our late 30s, and Sparkle has been a household name and a gay icon since we were toddlers. Chris owns every piece of her merchandise, goes to every tour, has multiple Sparkle tattoos, does impressions and dresses up as her for fun, and has even managed to strike up a vague friendship through social media in his line of work. If you ask him how he’s doing, a typical response sounds something like, “Oh, work, Sparkle, lunch, Sparkle.” When he meets my friends for the first time, he’ll inevitably steer the conversation toward Sparkle within half an hour. Our own conversations always feature her, too, even if I’m trying to talk about my own work. You can’t say anything negative about Sparkle, and comparisons to her closest peer, “Glitter” (whom I actually prefer) set him off on a rant. I have told him I don’t want to talk about her. I’ve done this over text and in person. I’ve done it politely, snarkily, even angrily. Nothing works. I love pop music. I even like Sparkle! (A lot less than I used to, though.) But I don’t want to hear about her every day. I want to talk about art, film, the news, the thoughts and fears that bring two people closer. Sparkle is an obsession, not a passion that I can support, and I don’t know what to do. Do I really have to say “It’s me or her?”
—All That Glitters …