Prudie Day!

charlotte989875 · May 2021

It’s another super hot day here and we haven’t put in our AC units yet. I miss having central air.

I don’t know if I shared this- my company acquired another bank (well were in the process of acquiring) and work is starting to pick up again. And I have one person on my team who is really starting to become disengaged. I know the pandemic and remote work has been really hard on everyone but her in particular, but we’re starting to get to a point where she’s turning down reasonable requests (even one from my 2-above). I’m struggling to be supportive and recognize that the isolation/ pandemic is really hard but also the ask wasn’t unreasonable. Ugh, what do you all say WW friends?

MissKittyDanger · May 2021

M gets his vax today!!

So backstory, I have M already on waitlists for pharmacies when they got deliveries.

SFIL went to pick up prescription at the pharmacy by them, and since he's very familiar with the pharmacist, he was asking about vaccine deliveries because the provincial system was absolutely messed up.
Pharmacist said for M to call and she'd check what's going on.

M calls, follows up with pharmacist. Pharmacist said since he was already on the code call list, she could confirm he's getting a call today to come and get vaxxed

I'm pretty stoked, but M feels guilty cuz he feels like he's "jumping the line"

I confirmed that he's not. She couldn't confirm much unless he was already in the system. Made him feel better.

Anyways I'm pretty stoked.
Just in time, because based on our original time frame we can likely celebrate BK's bday on June 5th

GBCK · May 2021

has someone checked in w/ her to make sure that it's not just weird life BS? Are they doing the rest of their work?

I"m killing time before I take the Mr. for his hernia surgery. And this weekend is our biggest event at work and I only have 1/3 of the volunteers I'd like to.

The kiddo started back in-person this week (it's been open but we had cases spike AND they decided to do standardized tests and we just noped right out of that BS. It's a helluva year I am NOT giving her migraine-giving tests for 5 hrs a day for 3 weeks. fuck that noise)

And pet stuff-The dog tangled her collar in her bed this week and didn't die (but it was scary--she did itwhile I was in the shower and I didn't realize she was tangled and had panicked enough to wreck the keyring on the tag and she's not that strong so...friggin terrifying) so we're waiting on a new collar--we FINALLY got a grooming appt on Friday, but because the Mr. isn't going to be allowed to drive yet, I had to take a friggin 1/2 day off work because the dog can't be taken by anyone else. (she clearly had a bad experience in her first home--she no longer freaks out about anyone who lives in our house, but she will NOT pbe put on a leash by someone else; it'd be a nightmare). It feels like a dumb reason to take off work, but, luckily they get it.

charlotte989875 · May 2021

GBCK said:

has someone checked in w/ her to make sure that it's not just weird life BS? Are they doing the rest of their work?

I"m killing time before I take the Mr. for his hernia surgery. And this weekend is our biggest event at work and I only have 1/3 of the volunteers I'd like to.

The kiddo started back in-person this week (it's been open but we had cases spike AND they decided to do standardized tests and we just noped right out of that BS. It's a helluva year I am NOT giving her migraine-giving tests for 5 hrs a day for 3 weeks. fuck that noise)

And pet stuff-The dog tangled her collar in her bed this week and didn't die (but it was scary--she did itwhile I was in the shower and I didn't realize she was tangled and had panicked enough to wreck the keyring on the tag and she's not that strong so...friggin terrifying) so we're waiting on a new collar--we FINALLY got a grooming appt on Friday, but because the Mr. isn't going to be allowed to drive yet, I had to take a friggin 1/2 day off work because the dog can't be taken by anyone else. (she clearly had a bad experience in her first home--she no longer freaks out about anyone who lives in our house, but she will NOT pbe put on a leash by someone else; it'd be a nightmare). It feels like a dumb reason to take off work, but, luckily they get it.

Yah about 6 weeks back she didn’t come to work one day (I mean we’re remote so she just didn’t log on) and had to take 3 days off because she was burned out. She lives alone and she’s said that being in her apartment all alone was getting to her. A few weeks after that she told me she “needs to figure out what she wants to do with her life”. So there’s definitely a lot of life happening to her and I want to be as flexible as possible to support her. But also it seems like she’s starting to decline reasonable requests as part of her job, doesn’t want to meet as often, says she doesn’t want to do team meetings anymore.

We scaled way back on her work after the burnout came up but she’s definitely at a lower workload than other people on the team.

charlotte989875 · May 2021

Also- how terrifying @gbck! Hope the pup is okay!!

Casadena · May 2021

@charlotte989875 I can't think of a situation where it is ever really reasonable to turn down request from 2-3 levels above you. I would probably have a talk with her about what is reasonable and check in to make sure everything is ok.

charlotte989875 · May 2021

Casadena said:

@charlotte989875 I can't think of a situation where it is ever really reasonable to turn down request from 2-3 levels above you. I would probably have a talk with her about what is reasonable and check in to make sure everything is ok.

Thanks, that’s my gut reaction too and he was surprised she turned it down. It wasn’t a big thing but she didn’t even consider or talk it through with me she just said no

MNNEBride · May 2021

@charlotte989875 - This is the first time I've had central air in almost 20 yrs and I'm loving it! Sorry for your loss

I hope your AC units get put in soon.

@MissKittyDanger - congrats to M for getting his vaccine today.

@charlotte989875, have you discussed the issue with your team member? You could say you've noticed they have declined assignments and are wondering what's going on. @banana468 probably has better words, but that's the gist.

I had dinner with a high school friend last night who is in town for a few days. We had a great visit. My promotion went through at work and now I'm officially exempt employee. My work didn't change, just my title. Woohoo for a bigger paycheck.

Another friend's step-dad passed and the memorial is Saturday so we'll go to that and a reception (After party as the family is calling it!). Will get to see my goddaughter's two children who were born just before and during the pandemic. Can't wait to meet them!

Happy Friday-eve!

MissKittyDanger · May 2021

@charlotte989875 it's hard about pandemic and friends. I've msg'd mine a lot to keep contact - some of my friends are having various issues so it's just checking in on everybody.
Unfortunately M doesn't have many friends, so as things get easier I'm going to try and see if M can see anyone who is also safe.

charlotte989875 · May 2021

Thanks @MNNEBride, I have a meeting with her today where I’ll need to bring this up. It’s tough because I do really want to support her if she’s going through something hard but she can’t just decline things without talking with me. As my 2-above said “this is the hardest part of the job”.

And I appreciate the sympathy around the AC, I do miss it. Enjoy every minute of it!

charlotte989875 · May 2021

MissKittyDanger said:

@charlotte989875 it's hard about pandemic and friends. I've msg'd mine a lot to keep contact - some of my friends are having various issues so it's just checking in on everybody.
Unfortunately M doesn't have many friends, so as things get easier I'm going to try and see if M can see anyone who is also safe.

Double quote!

It’s definitely tough- and since she’s an employee it’s a little tricky- I don’t want to pry into her life at all and I want her to be all right. But clearly something is going on.

Hoping M can see some friends soon!!

mrsconn23 · May 2021

I turned on our air yesterday, LOL. No central air sucks.

I had such a great time with my co-workers last night. A lot of former co-workers showed up for the retirement party and I got chat with some of my faves. Dad also seemed really happy to entertain DefConn for me. And DH even got some downtime at home to do nothing while we were out.

I think we're going to have a cookout on Memorial Day weekend. I'm super excited about it.

I am tired this morning. SSDD otherwise. Prudie coming up.

banana468 · May 2021

@charlotte989875 based on your concerns are you able to address this with management as an HR issue?

If you're looking at someone who is both not engaged but also shirking duties to the point that others are having to take over for them AND they are turning down requests from upper management then a bit of a CTJ is in order. I'd talk to management in general if you have their support. As rough as it is, you may need to have a discussion about the level of engagement required for the job, what is expected of her, and if she is not meeting those requirements.

Is there a leave option for her or vacation time? I'd consider a meeting with her first about a plan and then possibly one with HR if duties continue to be scaled back. Perhaps a plan for improvement is needed with a statement like, "We want to be here for you as you work through this and I also need to reiterate what is expected. If you think that this is no longer a good fit then let's talk about where you are looking to take your skills through the 3rd and 4th quarters this year."

And there should be some timelines drawn out here if possible because if she continues to burn out then you should make her aware that this discussion is including an exit plan.

Casadena · May 2021

I am so excited for Prudie today. I have zero work motivation (only one call and nothing else urgent) and am working from an empty house. G is at school and H is at the office all day. This NEVER happens and I'm too excited to have time to do things that I probably won't get anything done.

34 weeks today and can't believe new babe will be here so soon!

VarunaTT · May 2021

MY MOVIE THEATRE IS OPENING FRIDAY AND I AM SO EXCITED. I have tickets for Nobody on Friday, Wrath of Man on Saturday (and I might catch Godzilla vs. Kong too), the UnHoly on Sunday, and Raya and the Last Dragon on Monday. I'll have to stand in line for one of them like a regular person b/c I can only prebook 3 at a time and I need to prebook Cruella!!!! This will keep me out of so much trouble now, I am so excited.

SSDD otherwise.

charlotte989875 · May 2021

banana468 said:

@charlotte989875 based on your concerns are you able to address this with management as an HR issue?

If you're looking at someone who is both not engaged but also shirking duties to the point that others are having to take over for them AND they are turning down requests from upper management then a bit of a CTJ is in order. I'd talk to management in general if you have their support. As rough as it is, you may need to have a discussion about the level of engagement required for the job, what is expected of her, and if she is not meeting those requirements.

Is there a leave option for her or vacation time? I'd consider a meeting with her first about a plan and then possibly one with HR if duties continue to be scaled back. Perhaps a plan for improvement is needed with a statement like, "We want to be here for you as you work through this and I also need to reiterate what is expected. If you think that this is no longer a good fit then let's talk about where you are looking to take your skills through the 3rd and 4th quarters this year."

And there should be some timelines drawn out here if possible because if she continues to burn out then you should make her aware that this discussion is including an exit plan.

This is all so well said and exactly where my thinking is. My manager (who is now on leave) is aware and I’ve brought my 2-above in; they’re both supportive in that we want to be there for her, but are now concerned about declining requests and engagement.

Our HR is great here so I’m going to set up some time to just talk through what leave options look like. She has great PTO but we do have medical/ health leaves too if we’re at that point.

banana468 · May 2021

charlotte989875 said:

banana468 said:

@charlotte989875 based on your concerns are you able to address this with management as an HR issue?

If you're looking at someone who is both not engaged but also shirking duties to the point that others are having to take over for them AND they are turning down requests from upper management then a bit of a CTJ is in order. I'd talk to management in general if you have their support. As rough as it is, you may need to have a discussion about the level of engagement required for the job, what is expected of her, and if she is not meeting those requirements.

Is there a leave option for her or vacation time? I'd consider a meeting with her first about a plan and then possibly one with HR if duties continue to be scaled back. Perhaps a plan for improvement is needed with a statement like, "We want to be here for you as you work through this and I also need to reiterate what is expected. If you think that this is no longer a good fit then let's talk about where you are looking to take your skills through the 3rd and 4th quarters this year."

And there should be some timelines drawn out here if possible because if she continues to burn out then you should make her aware that this discussion is including an exit plan.

This is all so well said and exactly where my thinking is. My manager (who is now on leave) is aware and I’ve brought my 2-above in; they’re both supportive in that we want to be there for her, but are now concerned about declining requests and engagement.

Our HR is great here so I’m going to set up some time to just talk through what leave options look like. She has great PTO but we do have medical/ health leaves too if we’re at that point.

Then I'd present those options too.

For some it may be a need to take time off and leave the house. It's spring/summer. You can take walks outside even if an actual trip isn't possible. If your company has counseling resources then you may be able to ask about those.

But also you need to not turn to the rest of the team and tell them that their workload increased with no pay increase because one person may or may not do their job this week.

charlotte989875 · May 2021

banana468 said:

charlotte989875 said:

banana468 said:

@charlotte989875 based on your concerns are you able to address this with management as an HR issue?

If you're looking at someone who is both not engaged but also shirking duties to the point that others are having to take over for them AND they are turning down requests from upper management then a bit of a CTJ is in order. I'd talk to management in general if you have their support. As rough as it is, you may need to have a discussion about the level of engagement required for the job, what is expected of her, and if she is not meeting those requirements.

Is there a leave option for her or vacation time? I'd consider a meeting with her first about a plan and then possibly one with HR if duties continue to be scaled back. Perhaps a plan for improvement is needed with a statement like, "We want to be here for you as you work through this and I also need to reiterate what is expected. If you think that this is no longer a good fit then let's talk about where you are looking to take your skills through the 3rd and 4th quarters this year."

And there should be some timelines drawn out here if possible because if she continues to burn out then you should make her aware that this discussion is including an exit plan.

This is all so well said and exactly where my thinking is. My manager (who is now on leave) is aware and I’ve brought my 2-above in; they’re both supportive in that we want to be there for her, but are now concerned about declining requests and engagement.

Our HR is great here so I’m going to set up some time to just talk through what leave options look like. She has great PTO but we do have medical/ health leaves too if we’re at that point.

Then I'd present those options too.

For some it may be a need to take time off and leave the house. It's spring/summer. You can take walks outside even if an actual trip isn't possible. If your company has counseling resources then you may be able to ask about those.

But also you need to not turn to the rest of the team and tell them that their workload increased with no pay increase because one person may or may not do their job this week.

Yah I’m really mindful that we’re not going to do that, we have 2 new folks starting too which should lighten the work load in general but I’m trying to be really careful we’re not piling things on other folks either.

VarunaTT · May 2021

I am currently repeating over and over to myself: I am a professional woman and it is okay to spend money on a quality purse and wallet to replace your cheap falling apart purse and wallet.

It's very me and it was on sale, but buying a matching Kate Spade purse/wallet is more money than I've ever spent on a purse, period.

breanna tote

STARMOON44 · May 2021

Started Noom this week has anyone here used it? Ive finally gotten out of pandemic eat anything constantly mode but need to figure out how to eat healthy more than half the week.

mrsconn23 · May 2021

VarunaTT said:

I am currently repeating over and over to myself: I am a professional woman and it is okay to spend money on a quality purse and wallet to replace your cheap falling apart purse and wallet.

It's very me and it was on sale, but buying a matching Kate Spade purse/wallet is more money than I've ever spent on a purse, period.

OMG, I looooovvvvveeee it. It looks similar in style as the one I got earlier this year for my bday (mine is a blue and black butterfly pattern). Enjoy!!!

MissKittyDanger · May 2021

STARMOON44 said:

Started Noom this week has anyone here used it? Ive finally gotten out of pandemic eat anything constantly mode but need to figure out how to eat healthy more than half the week.

Friend of mine started "noom" also!
She's hoping at least the 2 week trial will give her an idea what the issue is, but she's open to keeping it.

banana468 · May 2021

@VarunaTT I love that!

I recently switched to a Rebecca Minkoff Julian backpack as my daily bag. It's leather and holds a ton and I love it as the mom heading to tons of places but I have a red bag just like that orange one from Kate Spade and LOOOOOOVE it.!

kvruns · May 2021

@STARMOON44 my brother did it and had good results. I don't think he follows it completely now but uses the principles still

levioosa · May 2021

Work and massage later. I need to see how many sessions I have left. It can’t possibly be that many. There’s some work shenanigans I need to address with my manager but beyond that SSDD.

It’s cool here today and I’m enjoying the last few days of spring before this place turns into the fourth circle of hell. We were originally going to put up the pool this weekend so we can have it for Memorial Day, but it looks like it won’t be over 81 next weekend and we really don’t want to go through the effort unless it’s hitting consistently above 90 daily. Plus the B-party is going to be at our house now so having an above ground pool might not be the best choice. And it’s not exactly and aesthetically pleasing addition to the backyard. FI and I really need to come up with a game plan for making house party appropriate in the next two weeks. With what extra time, I’m not sure.

Casadena · May 2021

STARMOON44 said:

Started Noom this week has anyone here used it? Ive finally gotten out of pandemic eat anything constantly mode but need to figure out how to eat healthy more than half the week.

I got sick of it really fast. The principles are good, but I didn't like the constant reminders/checkins/"coaching" as much I thought I would. I preferred WW. I do know people who really love it though!

VarunaTT · May 2021

STARMOON44 said:

Started Noom this week has anyone here used it? Ive finally gotten out of pandemic eat anything constantly mode but need to figure out how to eat healthy more than half the week.

I hated it b/c it talked to me way too damn much and it was irritatingly AI.

kerbohl · May 2021

@MNNEBride Congrats on the new title!! Hooray for a higher paycheck.

@VarunaTT Normally I'm the one that talks people out of purchases, but that bag is pretty sweet ...

Today is flying by. I had about two or three days at work where things were very quiet, and I felt like it was the calm before the storm. I think maybe the storm has come ... things be getting crazy! I think I'll eat my lunch outside with my bunnies to destress.

MissKittyDanger · May 2021

Generalized poll on finances

Pay off a debt end of the month, money replenished by September.

Or just pay it off monthly - still paid by off by September.

No interest right now {benefits to covid}

STARMOON44 · May 2021

@MissKittyDanger depends on how much of an impact paying it off now would have on your savings. If you can pay it off without then going into debt again, I’d personally pay it off in full. But if paying it off now will mean a skimpy emergency fund I’d pay it off monthly.

MissKittyDanger said:

Generalized poll on finances

Pay off a debt end of the month, money replenished by September.

Or just pay it off monthly - still paid by off by September.

No interest right now {benefits to covid}

MissKittyDanger · May 2021

@STARMOON44 I have a cushion that I can use to pay it off, plus an extra amount coming after the 28th {which is what I'd wait for - better buffer}
The cushion would be replenished by September because the amount I 'scheduled" as payments would just not move from the account

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