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Leave the review, especially if you never plan to return.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

I recently volunteered on an organic farm. When I was working in the fields with the owner, he mentioned that many of the volunteers are overweight and don’t understand anything about nutrition and won’t listen to him about it. He told me that one woman “gobbles down dry granola for breakfast every morning” and ridiculed her “unhealthy” method of cooking eggs, adding “no wonder she’s 30 pounds overweight.” He also complained, “I can’t say anything to her, because you can’t give any weight or diet advice to a young woman today.” Then he told me I was overweight, too.

Now that my volunteer time is over, the farm has asked me to leave a review. In general I learned a lot and was treated well, but I am concerned about the fatphobia that the owner exhibited. Do I have a duty to disclose this information on the website if I leave a review? Should I decline to leave one? If it were racist comments, I wouldn’t have any doubts as to what to do, but I’m torn here.

— Farming While Fat

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Re: Leave the review, especially if you never plan to return.

  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Exactly what the title says.  If you have no anticipation of going back or needing them in the future for anything, tell the truth.

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  • CasadenaCasadena member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Tell the truth, this farmer is really overstepping and is gross. 
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Yup. Leave an honest review. Say what you learned AND that you were subject to fatphobic comments. You don’t owe them silence on their bad behavior. 
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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    There's nothing wrong with leaving a review that is neither wholly positive nor wholly negative. You can say what was good about your time at the farm while adding the caveat that you found the owner's fatphobic comments inappropriate. That way, others can decide whether that's something they want to risk dealing with or not.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In leaving the review I'd be honest.  Mention the good and the bad.   The farm should know that the editorial comments aren't appreciated while also knowing what they did do that was constructive. 
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    MyNameIsNot said:
    Be honest. You know this is wrong and you know others will appreciate being warned. 

    Also, F&(* this farmer. You're running a business with the help of volunteer labor and you have the audacity to insult the volunteers? Go choke on a carrot. 
    Yes this. 


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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    levioosa said:
    MyNameIsNot said:
    Be honest. You know this is wrong and you know others will appreciate being warned. 

    Also, F&(* this farmer. You're running a business with the help of volunteer labor and you have the audacity to insult the volunteers? Go choke on a carrot. 
    Yes this. 
    Yep.  Team 'burn it down'.  

    It's fucked up that 'at least it's not racism' is a reason to not address/call out abusive and problematic behavior.  Being disparaging about someone, especially under these circumstances where they're volunteers and you're the 'boss', is awful and should be brought to light. 
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  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    He’s crazy rude and out of line and I’d definitely mention it in a review.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    MyNameIsNot said:
    Be honest. You know this is wrong and you know others will appreciate being warned. 

    Also, F&(* this farmer. You're running a business with the help of volunteer labor and you have the audacity to insult the volunteers? Go choke on a carrot. 
    The more I read this the more I lean towards it!  

    Maybe not "burn it down" but if you have a volunteer program and you're insulting those who volunteer you need a lesson in how to treat others! 
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  • kerbohlkerbohl member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I've done some in fields.  It is very physical, back-breaking labour.  If these volunteers are able to do it, they are in good physical health.  Farmer is one of two things: an idiot, or someone who is concerned about their own weight and is projecting.

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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    My response to the guy after the fatphobic comment, "I thought you were a farmer, not a doctor.  Am I mistaken about that?"
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