MYOB

short+sassy · June 2021

A close friend of mine and her husband have a 2-year-old son, John, who is never exposed to healthy food. My friend and I are both women in our early thirties, and I spend lots of time at her house now that we are vaccinated.

My friend and her husband drink soda and eat fried food or greasy takeout for all meals. On a recent visit, I asked why there are no fruits or veggies in John’s lunch and my friend responded, “He doesn’t like them so we don’t buy any.” But when I grabbed a baggie of baby carrots from my bag and started snacking, John wandered over and ate with me. Next time I visited I brought raw broccoli, and again, John ate half with me.

It seems like bad parenting to not at least make fruits or vegetables available to a 2-year-old.
How do I tell my friend that growing kids need fiber and vitamins instead of only chicken nuggets and Sprite? I have no children, and I think my opinions on parenting may not be welcome.

CharmedPam · June 2021

Myob is right. You can’t say anything. This is how they are choosing their children’s dietary habitats.

MissKittyDanger · June 2021

LW is right. Their opinion on parenting is not welcome.

I understand where LW is coming from, and although I agree, it's not LW's place to say anything.
Only time LW could even broach the topic is when they're over and saying "oh tot likes my veggies

someone must be changing their tastes - as kids apparently do"
Even then, it may not be taken well.

CharmedPam · June 2021

“Psssst kid, come over here” and smuggle some broccoli over to them.

banana468 · June 2021

MYOB. The parents are going to be asked at pedi appointments about the kid's diet but if you aren't a dietician it's not your place to chime in.

Casadena · June 2021

keep offering the kid veggies when you visit, as he gets older he can voice his opinions more and eat whatever he wants at school. Not your business.

MissKittyDanger · June 2021

banana468 said:

MYOB. The parents are going to be asked at pedi appointments about the kid's diet but if you aren't a dietician it's not your place to chime in.

tbh the pedi may not know - the parents could lie. If the kid is 2 and this is happening frequently - as it sounds like - then likely they lied to dr

banana468 · June 2021

MissKittyDanger said:

banana468 said:

MYOB. The parents are going to be asked at pedi appointments about the kid's diet but if you aren't a dietician it's not your place to chime in.

tbh the pedi may not know - the parents could lie. If the kid is 2 and this is happening frequently - as it sounds like - then likely they lied to dr

Certainly but at least our pedi asks, "Are you offering your child this # of servings of fruits/vegetables daily? Are you consuming sugary drinks?"

This also comes up with our dental appointments and I have to fill out a questionnaire there too. They can certainly be lying but if they are there's no amount of talking to them or convincing them that they're doing it wrong anyway.

short+sassy · June 2021

People are aware that fried foods aren't healthy and most veggies/fruits are. And that a healthy diet is even more important for growing children. It sounds like the parent's diet is eating fried foods and no veggies/fruit. That's why it is what their child eats.

Is that awful to do to a child? Yeah, I very much agree that it is. But no one gets to dictate what people should eat or what they should feed their kids.

I'm picturing if a "well meaning" friend said something to me while I'm eating an unhealthy meal and feeding my hypothetical child the same thing:

Friend: "You know, short+sassy. Fried chicken and French fries isn't very healthy to eat or feed to Little Jen. You all should really be eating a salad and some fruit."

Me (said sarcastically): "Oh really? I had no idea! No s**t (eyeroll). But I'm going to eat KFC sometimes. And if you have the gall to monitor our food again, I will cut you with my plastic knife. Right after I'm done slathering butter on this biscuit."

short+sassy · June 2021

One of the unexpected things that sucks about being a landlady, is I'm often exposed to how badly people raise their children. It's been eye opening and a bit horrifying. Don't get me wrong, I'd call child services if I ever saw physical abuse. But it's never been quite at that level. It's been:

Parents with twin boys who'd had hearing loss as babies/toddlers. Had surgery when they were about 5 to correct the hearing loss. But they still spoke like they were 2, because their parents didn't take them to speech therapy. Which I'd bet dollars to doughnuts would have been low cost (probably free). The boys collected SS Disability and also had insurance under a special state plan for kids. Speaking of food, at least one if not 2-3 meals a day were from McDonalds. When they moved out, they had obviously never cleaned. The floors had a layer of visible grime on them. I was squeamish just looking at the floors. And then when I thought about they let their kids play on and run around in bare feet on all that filth, I shuddered more.
Parent who screams expletives and insults at her 8-year-old son all the time. I have not witnessed that, but my H was exposed to her regularly when he was rehabbing the duplex next door to hers.
Parents (no longer my tenants) and their friends who played music at club-level noise decibels. With a 6-month-old, 18-month-old, and two toddlers in the house. That kind of constant loud noise will cause hearing to start dulling for an adult. It's really damaging for children who still have their whole lives that their hearing needs to last for.

It IS hard to see someone doing obvious physical and/or psychological damage to their child(ren) and not say anything. But it was/is absolutely not my place to say anything. Especially since I'm not even a friend or relative.

I almost said something to the loud people, because they might not have realized how damaging that music was. I even planned to use a friendly, conversational tone. Like, "I'm not sure if you are aware of this, but..." However, since they didn't give a s**t that I gave them multiple notices about the noise and then a Notice To Vacate over it, I assumed they wouldn't give a s**t either that they were setting up these young children to develop hearing loss substantially earlier in life. But hey, that's still 30-50 years away and apparently they need to party like rock stars and be selfish AHs now, smh.

charlotte989875 · June 2021

Keep offering John snacks a when you’re there but keep your mouth shut. He’s fed and cared for, he’s not being abused. It sucks but it’s not your place to do anything else.

MyNameIsNot · June 2021

Am I the only one who thinks LW is prone to exaggeration? They get take out for every single meal? Child has never had a carrot until she brought one into the house? But friend is totally chill with LW showing up with her own food at every visit. Yeah, ok.

Casadena · June 2021

MyNameIsNot said:

Am I the only one who thinks LW is prone to exaggeration? They get take out for every single meal? Child has never had a carrot until she brought one into the house? But friend is totally chill with LW showing up with her own food at every visit. Yeah, ok.

And the 2 year old who's used to fast food only just chowed raw carrots and broccoli? I find that VERY hard to believe.

short+sassy · June 2021

I'm getting a little too fixated on the raw broccoli even though it doesn't matter for the story, lol. It's so dry! I didn't think people usually ate it that way. Now I'm curious, am I mistaken on that?

I admittedly get very pro/anti cooking or raw with veggies and it's not necessarily in the same way.

Raw carrots? Love'em. Cooked carrots? I'm not exaggerating, that is one of the few foods I find so repellent, that I sometimes started gagging when I was forced to eat them as a child.

Raw broccoli? I can eat it, but the texture is so dry, I find it unpleasant. I think the only time I've seen it served raw are on those veggie trays. And at least there is ranch dressing to take away some of the dry. But now we're back to being unhealthy, lol. Cooked broccoli? Love it.

CharmedPam · June 2021

This actually crossed my mind too, @short+sassy. I’ll eat it raw, but it’s not my first choice. When I buy a veggie tray, it’s usuallly the veggie that gets tossed becuase it’s gone bad

short+sassy · June 2021

CharmedPam said:

This actually crossed my mind too, @short+sassy. I’ll eat it raw, but it’s not my first choice. When I buy a veggie tray, it’s usuallly the veggie that gets tossed becuase it’s gone bad

Even in a potluck situation, all the other veggies seem to go first.

MissKittyDanger · June 2021

short+sassy said:

I'm getting a little too fixated on the raw broccoli even though it doesn't matter for the story, lol. It's so dry! I didn't think people usually ate it that way. Now I'm curious, am I mistaken on that?

Depends on the kid tbh. I loved raw veggies as a kid, but BK isn't a fan - she prefers steamed but still semi hard {probably to take dryness off}

kerbohl · June 2021

LW should be careful - I'm worried about allergies if they are sneaking food to the kid. I'm glad they did carrots and broccoli, but isn't cauliflower a major allergy concern for kids? Maybe there is a reason they don't eat that many veggies?

MesmrEwe · June 2021

CharmedPam said:

“Psssst kid, come over here” and smuggle some broccoli over to them.

This!!! At some point the parents will notice "Johnny eats the apples from the happy meal like candy!"... It's like the day I realized my kids would eat salad no problem because daycare was serving it at lunch! (they had fruits/veggies at home but not like fresh/crunchy stuff at the time until after that).. There's also the bonus of "kids crave what isn't normally available"..

short+sassy · June 2021

MesmrEwe said:

CharmedPam said:

“Psssst kid, come over here” and smuggle some broccoli over to them.

This!!! At some point the parents will notice "Johnny eats the apples from the happy meal like candy!"... It's like the day I realized my kids would eat salad no problem because daycare was serving it at lunch! (they had fruits/veggies at home but not like fresh/crunchy stuff at the time until after that).. There's also the bonus of "kids crave what isn't normally available"..

Back when Stephen Colbert's show was still on the Comedy Network. His guest one night was Cookie Monster. With the tie-in being that a recent (at the time) study had come out where...for the first time ever...apples had replaced cookies for children's favorite snack.

knottiec5066685873ba1e5 · June 2021

Myob
keep offering the veggies to john, slowly slowly he will get habit of veggie and he will turns his food for oily to veggie. hope this will work.
thanks

MobKaz · June 2021

I must be the only one to think that if this child is truly only TWO years old, I would NOT be offering raw carrots. #ChokingHazard

MYOB

Re: MYOB

Choose Another Board

Search Boards