It's actually Thursday

NBSquared2017 · June 2021

Can we talk birthday party etiquette?

Madison’s first birthday is coming up next month and we’re having a candy buffet as part of the decor.

Do you think a take home bag of candy is enough of a “thank you” gift for guests?

Are thank you gifts a thing for birthday parties or am I being above average?

This would not be in lieu of a handwritten thank you card.

MissKittyDanger · June 2021

short+sassy said:

banana468 said:

A mix of layers is a good idea. Watch the forecast and see. It's not usually that far off so if you see a frost warning in Sept you'll need something heavy. If you see temps in the upper 80s you're going to want the short sleeves and sun dresses. Know that by evening hours if you're on the shore you'll want a sweatshirt even if you didn't in the afternoon. Usually by sunset I find I want long sleeves in the late summer.

If you go more north then you may want longer layers. I went to UConn and I think we had a first frost in late Sept.

So I just picked up the kids from camp. They're in the same general area with Chiquito at his school and Chiquita at hers. As I waited in my car for Chiquita the counselors said that there was an "issue with a parent" and they'd be walking the kids to cars and bringing them up front. I saw a local cop pull in as well but couldn't see anything.

Chiquita explained that she heard some yelling and Chiquito said, "Maybe it was a Karen!" I had to nicely tell my kids that such a term is not nice and needs to be not used but where my kid heard the line I couldn't tell you.

Do not take this at all that I am talking about your kids.

But I really, really, really need to vent hard about how much I hate that term and how offensive I find it.

As we all know, it initially came about to refer to someone who is being privileged and unfair, usually to a POC. And specifically refers to white woman, though I feel like that's been broadened a little bit to refer to anyone with those behaviors.

Except now it's being used just to insult someone. No different than using the term bitch (when said in a derogatory tone). Which is a sexist fucking word. Just like "Karen". IS A SEXIST FUCKING WORD. It's not a man's first name. It's a woman's first name.

How about, while we fight for the equality of POC, maybe we can also fight for gender equality. OMG, at same time (gasp), especially since we're already having these imperative and long overdue conversations. But no. INSTEAD WE'RE KNOCKING GENDER EQUALITY DOWN, ANOTHER FUCKING NOTCH.

Look, I've lived my whole 47 years as a woman, so obviously I'm used to ALL the discrimination and micro-aggressions leveled against women. You live with most of it. Don't even usually notice a lot of it because that's always how it has been. But to have yet another sexist term come out of a movement that's supposed to be about equal opportunities. I just can't. It sickens me to my core.

Fyi I call the male version of a Karen a "Chad"

Don't know gender? El douch-baggio

MyNameIsNot · June 2021

@NBSquared2017, that sounds fine to me! I know sometimes people go a little overboard on favors for little kids at birthday parties, but I'd still rather just have something edible.

ILoveBeachMusic · June 2021

NBSquared2017 said:

Can we talk birthday party etiquette?

Madison’s first birthday is coming up next month and we’re having a candy buffet as part of the decor.

Do you think a take home bag of candy is enough of a “thank you” gift for guests?

Are thank you gifts a thing for birthday parties or am I being above average?

This would not be in lieu of a handwritten thank you card.

I'm guessing most of your guests are adults that would be receiving the favors so that would be fine. If it were kids, I'd worry because so many people don't allow children to have candy or limit the amount of candy.

I'm also going to probably express an UPO that a favor bag doesn't replace a thank you note. Granted for a one year old you can certainly express your thanks in person as the parent. As the child gets older, I used it as a teaching tool to have my kids write thank you notes to their friends even though they were thanked in person. I also found that my kids' friends did the same. Maybe that isn't done anymore. Just my two cents.

NBSquared2017 · June 2021

ILoveBeachMusic said:

NBSquared2017 said:

Can we talk birthday party etiquette?

Madison’s first birthday is coming up next month and we’re having a candy buffet as part of the decor.

Do you think a take home bag of candy is enough of a “thank you” gift for guests?

Are thank you gifts a thing for birthday parties or am I being above average?

This would not be in lieu of a handwritten thank you card.

I'm guessing most of your guests are adults that would be receiving the favors so that would be fine. If it were kids, I'd worry because so many people don't allow children to have candy or limit the amount of candy.

I'm also going to probably express an UPO that a favor bag doesn't replace a thank you note. Granted for a one year old you can certainly express your thanks in person as the parent. As the child gets older, I used it as a teaching tool to have my kids write thank you notes to their friends even though they were thanked in person. I also found that my kids' friends did the same. Maybe that isn't done anymore. Just my two cents.

5 kids all toddlers

20ish adults.

Maybe a coloring book and crayons with a little candy? I had not thought about parents restricting candy.

Great idea about the teaching tool! I’ll keep that in my back pocket!

Jen4948 · June 2021

NBSquared2017 said:

Can we talk birthday party etiquette?

Madison’s first birthday is coming up next month and we’re having a candy buffet as part of the decor.

Do you think a take home bag of candy is enough of a “thank you” gift for guests?

Are thank you gifts a thing for birthday parties or am I being above average?

This would not be in lieu of a handwritten thank you card.

Gift bags are common for kids' birthday parties so I think you're fine. I agree with @Ilove@ILoveBeachMusic that I wouldn't put candy into them unless I knew for sure that it's okay with their parents and that it's safe medically for the kids to eat the candy.

I fervently hate "in lieu of thank yous" given out at parties and wedding receptions, but I agree that you can thank the guests in person at the party. Later, when Madison is older, you can teach her how to write thank you notes for gifts.

ILoveBeachMusic · June 2021

@NBSquared2017 I think a coloring book and a small pack of crayons would be just fine. Another idea would be a bottle of bubbles (instead of not in addition to). I agree with @MyNameIsNot, kids' party favors get out of hand sometimes and for toddlers less is better!

MobKaz · June 2021

climbingsingle said:

short+sassy said:

@ei34, thanks I can use that weather tip also! My NYC trip is mid-Sept. I was just looking at the Sept. temperatures for there yesterday. During Prime Days, I bought a sleeveless summer dress and was thinking, "I can wear this for my trip!" But then it occurred to me that, just because it is still ridiculously hot where I live in Sept., doesn't mean that's true 1300 miles NE from me, lol. I see now I will probably need to have a cardigan handy for the evening! But, overall, the weather will be a lot better than where I live at that time of year, so now I am even more excited. It looks like NY has highs in the low-mid 70s. Perfect! NOLA still has highs in the high 80s. I hope I remember that when I'm packing, lol.

Unless someone else is doing it, I'll pick up the Prudie torch while @mrsconn23 is gone. I'll post around mid-morning.

It is a slooowww day at work! Ugh. I think I will take the opportunity to plan out my Restaurant Week, even though it is half over by now, lol.

The weather in NYC mid-September is honestly all over the place..haha. I'd pack a short sleeves, long sleeves and a light jacket. The days are usually still pretty warm but can get chilly at night.

This is how I pack every time I go to Los Angeles to see my son and family. I try to wear a color palette that goes together. I will bring a long and short sleeved white shirt, and then long and short sleeved shirts that can each go with the pants brought. For our May trip, I had a palette of light grey (silver-ish), black, and blue jeans. It helps me limit shoes and sweaters as well.

kerbohl · June 2021

short+sassy said:

banana468 said:

A mix of layers is a good idea. Watch the forecast and see. It's not usually that far off so if you see a frost warning in Sept you'll need something heavy. If you see temps in the upper 80s you're going to want the short sleeves and sun dresses. Know that by evening hours if you're on the shore you'll want a sweatshirt even if you didn't in the afternoon. Usually by sunset I find I want long sleeves in the late summer.

If you go more north then you may want longer layers. I went to UConn and I think we had a first frost in late Sept.

So I just picked up the kids from camp. They're in the same general area with Chiquito at his school and Chiquita at hers. As I waited in my car for Chiquita the counselors said that there was an "issue with a parent" and they'd be walking the kids to cars and bringing them up front. I saw a local cop pull in as well but couldn't see anything.

Chiquita explained that she heard some yelling and Chiquito said, "Maybe it was a Karen!" I had to nicely tell my kids that such a term is not nice and needs to be not used but where my kid heard the line I couldn't tell you.

Do not take this at all that I am talking about your kids.

But I really, really, really need to vent hard about how much I hate that term and how offensive I find it.

As we all know, it initially came about to refer to someone who is being privileged and unfair, usually to a POC. And specifically refers to white woman, though I feel like that's been broadened a little bit to refer to anyone with those behaviors.

Except now it's being used just to insult someone. No different than using the term bitch (when said in a derogatory tone). Which is a sexist fucking word. Just like "Karen". IS A SEXIST FUCKING WORD. It's not a man's first name. It's a woman's first name.

How about, while we fight for the equality of POC, maybe we can also fight for gender equality. OMG, at same time (gasp), especially since we're already having these imperative and long overdue conversations. But no. INSTEAD WE'RE KNOCKING GENDER EQUALITY DOWN, ANOTHER FUCKING NOTCH.

Look, I've lived my whole 47 years as a woman, so obviously I'm used to ALL the discrimination and micro-aggressions leveled against women. You live with most of it. Don't even usually notice a lot of it because that's always how it has been. But to have yet another sexist term come out of a movement that's supposed to be about equal opportunities. I just can't. It sickens me to my core.

I have also been really upset at this term. I guarantee it is being used to shut women up as well. As in, a woman is having a completely reasonable reaction to something and is standing up for herself, and someone says "stop being a Karen" to silence her. This term isn't just offensive, I think it will get dangerous if it hasn't already, and it just needs to be stopped.

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