My fiancé and I are both single parents.(I’m a 37 year old single mom, he’s a 41 year old single dad.) I have sole custody of my three, including one child with special needs. He has 3 kids too. We do not live together, we were supposed to close on our new home in August but I backed out. It was a beautiful custom home and I’m wondering if I did the right thing. They say love is blind, I’m guessing these are red flags, but he is a good provider and does “show up” when I need him. But my gut is telling me these are reasons to walk away completely.
Here’s a few examples:
-If I tell him something hurts my feelings, he responds with, “Then leave.” Or says, “Then why are you with me?”
-lied about two of his coworkers, said he’d never been involved with them when in fact he slept with them both
-cheated on both of his serious girlfriends since his divorce
-has lied to me about where he is, says he’s at work when he’s not
-drinks a few beers and then will drive with his kids in the car
-yells at me in front of all the kids
-constantly makes jokes about my ex and his “size” (I never told him anything of that nature)
-frequently jokes about how he would kill me (feed me to wild hogs but would have to pull my teeth first)
-when I was flying out of town last month, he joked that he was going to ask the pilot to make it crash
-zero boundaries with his ex wife, texts and talks to her daily
-says he watches porn on his lunch break and his two kids (both preteens) say they’re addicted
-made fun of one of my kids by teasing her even after she asked him to stop
-lied about his sexual past, including having a STI
I’ve written these out and I feel ridiculous asking. But the wedding, our new home, everything was all straight out of a dream. Still not worth it?
(feels a little silly my username has the word wife in it, that’s how sure I was when he proposed)