Dear Prudence,
I remarried three years ago. We both have college-age children. My daughter Annie got involved with my stepson Jaime. My husband and I were deeply uncomfortable with this relationship, but were soundly told it was none of our business and they were adults. The relationship ended up going south in a spectacular display where Annie drunkenly accused Jaime of flirting with a mutual friend at a family party. Jaime broke up with her on the spot.
I had hoped the bruised egos would heal, but Annie is holding a grudge nearly two years later. She refuses to visit if Jaime is here even for the holidays. The problem is Jaime has moved in after a car wreck and probably will be living with my husband and me for the near future.
Annie thinks that the solution is for me and her sisters to visit her in the tiny house she rents with her friends. I told Annie that is not a long-term solution and can she just manage to be polite to Jaime for the few times she sees him.
Annie told me I was being unfair, and I should be in her corner first and foremost. I told Annie I loved her but she was acting childish. Her romantic shenanigans should not dictate the rest of the family nor my marriage. Annie has been distant and uncommunicative since. Jaime has apologized to me personally, and my husband thinks Annie is being a brat. Her sisters think so as well, and this is why I was against the relationship in the first place! How do I deal with my daughter?
— Mom at the Crossroads