Wedding Woes

Less than a month to go and totally freaking out! (long)

My wedding is on oct 2 and i am so overwhelmed. My mom came up with the idea of having a candy buffet towards the end of the reception (i really like the idea by the way) but only told me a few days ago that it is my responsibility, she has too much goingon to do it. I don't mind, it is MY wedding, but to get all this stuff in less than a month is freaking me out big time. I still have to get re-fitted for my dress since it was too tight and needed to be let out (thats always a fun experience when 2 people can't zip me up!) and book a test run for my hair and makeup. I am also with out a car (really long story!) so i am currently relying on others for rides to work and everything else. We just got the invites in the mail and I need to get my daughter/flower girl shoes. My mom hasn't picked out a dress yet...

This is not really my moms fault. We have had a REALLY rough time lately. Long story short: 1 week after I got engaged (dec.08) my parents' house was totaled in a gas explosion: my neighbors bf killed himself by blowing up the house and severely damaging mine. For 18 months my parents dealt with the insurance company and after a long long time we moved back in this past may. My mother was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and though thankfully really early, still needs surgery (set for this monday). With all that my parents also just got my yougest sister off to college which was an emotional time for them. AND we have a wedding to plan!  My fiance helps but works 2 jobs so hes not home all too much. His family particularly his mother is driving me crazy too. My mom put together a really nice shower for me, catered by her executive chef friend who flew up from Florida just for this. She parked herself at the best table and sat and enjoyed everything while my mom raced around from out house to the place and back, spilling a huge chafing dish of melted chocolate all over her backseat in the process. Dispite that and a few other hiccups, it was a nice day. We did not get a single "thank you" or "good job" or anything. She even told my aunt to shut up when i was opening gifts because my aunt was with my hard of hearing grnadmother and great aunt she was giving them a play by play. at one point she yelled speak up to me, and his mom yelled back (which i didnt realize until i talked to my aunt after) that people should sit in front or just shut up! i mean really??? my aunt/godmother is helping my grandmother who cant hear and is legally blind. its a good thing i didnt hear that at the time! Wow this got really long! I apologize for that I just needed to vent and i can not realy vent to my fiance about his mom since in his eyes his family is perfect. thanks for reading!!! now itsw off to find 15lbs of saltwater taffy!!! 

Re: Less than a month to go and totally freaking out! (long)

  • edited December 2011
    What the hell was all this about? Just don't have a candy buffet.
    ..
  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    You may like the idea of a candy buffet, but it's hardly essential.  If neither you nor your mom have time to put it together, it's perfectly fine to skip it.  I wouldn't be scandalized if I attended a wedding without one.

    As for your mom spilling chocolate on her back seat, how is this your FMIL's fault?  Did she spill it?  Was she supposed to transport the chocolate and blew it off? 
  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I'm not sure what any of this has to do with a candy buffet.  Or why the issues w/your shower was your FMIL's fault.
  • notamrsnotamrs member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Also, if your mother was hosting the shower, it was her responsibility to put it together, not your FMIL's, unless she was listed as a co-hostess.
  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    long story short FAIL.

    image
  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    why was a chafing dish of melted chocolate being transported anyways? Chocolate needs to be tempered and kept within a specific temperature range so that it behaves properly - your "executive chef" should know that. why wasn't the chocolate melted at the venue?


  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    So, the big issue is the candy buffet and your MIL not doing anything at the shower your mother hosted? 

    Skip the buffet and take care of your mom.  Case closed.
  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    be sure to have a veggie tray for people who don't like taffy!
    image
  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011

    You all should really check out the bio.  The proposal story includes Tinkerbell earrings.

  • ManwaithielManwaithiel member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Bizarre...Really.

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  • edited December 2011
    That proposal story was... underwhelming.
    ..
  • jojobrnjojobrn member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_less-month-totally-freaking-out-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:8962edd7-d19f-4b8f-a52c-e689805f4a8bPost:b8c71832-9a8c-45c9-b82a-342764a6760b">Re: Less than a month to go and totally freaking out! (long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]less than a month to go and you just got the invitations? they have not yet been mailed? maybe you want to make sure you have guests at this wedding before buying candy just in case they never actually get their invitations.
    Posted by Wifezzilla[/QUOTE]

    <div>Wait, there was another one last night that was still trying to get invites ordered for an Oct 9th or something wedding. Is this a new trend? Don't order the invites until the last minute to reduce the number of responses?</div>
  • LnR70707LnR70707 member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    That was a very long story....just saying your FMIL is a rude b!tch would have sufficed.
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  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    my bag.
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  • edited December 2011
    I can't stand people who make sht as complicated as possible and overload themselves with pointless tasks, and then want to complain about how much they have to do. That's what this post sounds like to me.
    ..
  • atg11715atg11715 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    wow didn't realize this was hate on me post. the invites ARE mailed, i should have phrased that better. i am just overwhelmed and thought MAYBE someone had a little bit sympathy but i guess not. and who ever said my proposal was underwhelming???? really? sorry it wasnt more extravagant. i was not trying to impress anyone, i was just telling what happened. i suppose you got engaged on top of the Eiffel Tower at sunset in front of kings and queens right? this was such a mistake, posting here. now i feel worse. this will probably be my last visit to the whole damn site. And the chef knew what he was doing but there was no kitchen in the place we held the shower so he made everything in my kitchen and transported it over. i wasnt blaming my fmil for the chocolate, i never said that was her fault. way to read something properly!
  • jojobrnjojobrn member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_less-month-totally-freaking-out-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:8962edd7-d19f-4b8f-a52c-e689805f4a8bPost:317c904e-4eaa-47d3-9e4d-0d9b120b9dbc">Re: Less than a month to go and totally freaking out! (long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]wow didn't realize this was hate on me post. the invites ARE mailed, i should have phrased that better. i am just overwhelmed and thought MAYBE someone had a little bit sympathy but i guess not. and who ever said my proposal was underwhelming???? really? sorry it wasnt more extravagant. i was not trying to impress anyone, i was just telling what happened. i suppose you got engaged on top of the Eiffel Tower at sunset in front of kings and queens right? this was such a mistake, posting here. now i feel worse. this will probably be my last visit to the whole damn site. And the chef knew what he was doing but there was no kitchen in the place we held the shower so he made everything in my kitchen and transported it over. i wasnt blaming my fmil for the chocolate, i never said that was her fault. way to read something properly!
    Posted by atg11715[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Yes, on top of the Eiffel Tower at sunset in front of kings and queens. And by Eiffel Tower I mean my bedroom. And by kings and queens I mean no one was there. And by sunset I mean night. </div><div>
    </div>
  • **O-Face****O-Face** member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Wow.  Talk about editing the crap out of your original post!
    image
  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_less-month-totally-freaking-out-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:8962edd7-d19f-4b8f-a52c-e689805f4a8bPost:317c904e-4eaa-47d3-9e4d-0d9b120b9dbc">Re: Less than a month to go and totally freaking out! (long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]wow didn't realize this was hate on me post. the invites ARE mailed, i should have phrased that better. i am just overwhelmed and thought MAYBE someone had a little bit sympathy but i guess not. and who ever said my proposal was underwhelming???? really? sorry it wasnt more extravagant. i was not trying to impress anyone, i was just telling what happened. i suppose you got engaged on top of the Eiffel Tower at sunset in front of kings and queens right? this was such a mistake, posting here. now i feel worse. this will probably be my last visit to the whole damn site. And the chef knew what he was doing but there was no kitchen in the place we held the shower so he made everything in my kitchen and transported it over. i wasnt blaming my fmil for the chocolate, i never said that was her fault. way to read something properly!
    Posted by atg11715[/QUOTE]

    HA! When you write an incoherent mess that's hard to follow, then it's easy for the people reading it to get confused.  Proper sentence structure and paragraphs go a long way towards people understanding the point you're trying to get across.
  • edited December 2011
    Well, no one can read your posts properly because your grammar is awful. And I didn't say the proposal was underwhelming, I said the story was underwhelming. I hope you don't talk like you type, that's for damn sure.
    ..
  • **O-Face****O-Face** member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_less-month-totally-freaking-out-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:8962edd7-d19f-4b8f-a52c-e689805f4a8bPost:1649529e-33ca-43c5-9d3b-3a5b5e2b694f">Less than a month to go and totally freaking out! (long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]My wedding is on oct 2 and i am so overwhelmed. My mom came up with the idea of having a candy buffet towards the end of the reception (i really like the idea by the way) but only told me a few days ago that it is my responsibility, she has too much goingon to do it. I don't mind, it is MY wedding, but to get all this stuff in less than a month is freaking me out big time. I still have to get re-fitted for my dress since it was too tight and needed to be let out (thats always a fun experience when 2 people can't zip me up!) and book a test run for my hair and makeup. I am also with out a car (really long story!) so i am currently relying on others for rides to work and everything else. We just got the invites in the mail and I need to get my daughter/flower girl shoes. My mom hasn't picked out a dress yet... This is not really my moms fault. We have had a REALLY rough time lately. Long story short: 1 week after I got engaged (dec.08) my parents' house was totaled in a gas explosion: my neighbors bf killed himself by blowing up the house and severely damaging mine. For 18 months my parents dealt with the insurance company and after a long long time we moved back in this past may. My mother was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and though thankfully really early, still needs surgery (set for this monday). With all that my parents also just got my yougest sister off to college which was an emotional time for them. AND we have a wedding to plan!  My fiance helps but works 2 jobs so hes not home all too much. His family particularly his mother is driving me crazy too. My mom put together a really nice shower for me, catered by her executive chef friend who flew up from Florida just for this. She parked herself at the best table and sat and enjoyed everything while my mom raced around from out house to the place and back, spilling a huge chafing dish of melted chocolate all over her backseat in the process. Dispite that and a few other hiccups, it was a nice day. We did not get a single "thank you" or "good job" or anything. She even told my aunt to shut up when i was opening gifts because my aunt was with my hard of hearing grnadmother and great aunt she was giving them a play by play. at one point she yelled speak up to me, and his mom yelled back (which i didnt realize until i talked to my aunt after) that people should sit in front or just shut up! i mean really??? my aunt/godmother is helping my grandmother who cant hear and is legally blind. its a good thing i didnt hear that at the time! Wow this got really long! I apologize for that I just needed to vent and i can not realy vent to my fiance about his mom since in his eyes his family is perfect. thanks for reading!!! now itsw off to find 15lbs of saltwater taffy!!! 
    Posted by atg11715[/QUOTE]

    just cause
    image
  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_less-month-totally-freaking-out-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:8962edd7-d19f-4b8f-a52c-e689805f4a8bPost:1649529e-33ca-43c5-9d3b-3a5b5e2b694f">Less than a month to go and totally freaking out! (long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]My wedding is on oct 2 and i am so overwhelmed. My mom came up with the idea of having a candy buffet towards the end of the reception (i really like the idea by the way) but only told me a few days ago that it is my responsibility, she has too much goingon to do it. I don't mind, it is MY wedding, but to get all this stuff in less than a month is freaking me out big time. I still have to get re-fitted for my dress since it was too tight and needed to be let out (thats always a fun experience when 2 people can't zip me up!) and book a test run for my hair and makeup. I am also with out a car (really long story!) so i am currently relying on others for rides to work and everything else. We just got the invites in the mail and I need to get my daughter/flower girl shoes. My mom hasn't picked out a dress yet... This is not really my moms fault. We have had a REALLY rough time lately. Long story short: 1 week after I got engaged (dec.08) my parents' house was totaled in a gas explosion: my neighbors bf killed himself by blowing up the house and severely damaging mine. For 18 months my parents dealt with the insurance company and after a long long time we moved back in this past may. My mother was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and though thankfully really early, still needs surgery (set for this monday). With all that my parents also just got my yougest sister off to college which was an emotional time for them. AND we have a wedding to plan!  My fiance helps but works 2 jobs so hes not home all too much. His family particularly his mother is driving me crazy too. My mom put together a really nice shower for me, catered by her executive chef friend who flew up from Florida just for this. She parked herself at the best table and sat and enjoyed everything while my mom raced around from out house to the place and back, spilling a huge chafing dish of melted chocolate all over her backseat in the process. Dispite that and a few other hiccups, it was a nice day. We did not get a single "thank you" or "good job" or anything. She even told my aunt to shut up when i was opening gifts because my aunt was with my hard of hearing grnadmother and great aunt she was giving them a play by play. at one point she yelled speak up to me, and his mom yelled back (which i didnt realize until i talked to my aunt after) that people should sit in front or just shut up! i mean really??? my aunt/godmother is helping my grandmother who cant hear and is legally blind. its a good thing i didnt hear that at the time! Wow this got really long! I apologize for that I just needed to vent and i can not realy vent to my fiance about his mom since in his eyes his family is perfect. thanks for reading!!! now itsw off to find 15lbs of saltwater taffy!!! 
    Posted by atg11715[/QUOTE]

    JIC
  • MOB SceneMOB Scene member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Take a deep breath.  If all else fails, you can order the candy and check for a rental place that has the different containers to display it. Then the night of the rehearsal dinner....get the attendants to help you set up the display.  IF the candy is what you are freaking out about.  But really, with everything else going on in your life and your mom's life.....don't worry about a candy buffet. Maybe your dress is tight because you are stress eating.  Get used to having issues with your MIL.....that is their job...to point out how flawed you are. As for the grooms thought that his family is perfect?????  Keep telling yourself your family is part of the HUMAN race and SOME of his are too!  ;p
  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    If everyone supposedly misunderstands your post, then maybe it's not everyone else who is challenged.  Just sayin'.
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