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You may need a new therapist or a different kind of therapy.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

I was ill for years as a kid, with increasingly high doses of opioid painkillers. My mother decided to use me as her personal pharmacy, refusing to look into alternative treatment so she could get her fix. When I was cut off and in withdrawal, forcing me to find alternative treatment, I found out later that my mother had a huge stash of my meds and hid them from me, while I was in agony and ended up hospitalized.

I’ve been in therapy for years, but I cannot move past it, no matter how many sessions I’ve had. I just want to know where this pain is supposed to go. Confronting her is not an option, because she will either deny it, or turn it around on me. How can I put this behind me and get on with my life? I never want to see her again, but it’s complicated by the fact that she lives with my grandmother, and is essentially gatekeeping her. How on earth do I move forward here?

— My Junkie Mom Used Me

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Re: You may need a new therapist or a different kind of therapy.

  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Yah if you’re been in therapy for years and you feel like you can’t get passed it, it’s time to either say this to your therapist or find a new one. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You are going to need a new therapist. 

    My thought is that the LW's life is likely toxic and the surrounding dynamics are.  If the LW is now off Opioids what's to say that the mother isn't also taking drugs from the grandmother? 

    Only LW can decide the kind of relationship that they want with the parent but I'd likely consider not having one at all or just sticking to  high level facts.  As for the grandmother I'd also consider not trying to change minds either.    Stick to expressing love and superficial conversation and keeping a fine eye out for signs that the grandmother is a victim of elder abuse.  

    But really - LW need some seriously strong therapy because it sounds like they're trying to reconcile something that won't be and understanding that you won't get closure is likely something that needs to be accepted. 
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