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Tuesday

ei34ei34 member
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in Wedding Woes
Just wading through the week. Nothing out of the ordinary during the days although the evenings this week are nice.  Last week every night it was some sort of virtual event (PTA, my kids’ meet the teacher nights, my own school’s meet the teacher night). So I’m happy to have my 7pm downtime back this week!  Wishing everyone a good day.
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Re: Tuesday

  • kvrunskvruns member
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    Not much today. Have meetings at the beginning and end of my day. My dad is coming over to help put together furniture I ordered, I didn't ask him to but he said he was coming over to do it so I didn't say no.

    Need to find time to get outside and walk but I don't know when I'll be able to depending on how long my dad is here. Not the end of the world but I do need to get my steps in!
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    Oh my gosh @kvruns how did he get so big?? That smile is the best!
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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    @kvruns dislike how grown he's getting!! lol 

    Will post photo later, but I got my tatts done :) I very much love them and I could not have asked for better

    We had a little chat with BK last night.
    She's had a few accidents at preschool, so we just wanted to instill that she doesn't have to wait and to ask a teacher if she needs to use the potty.

    I think it's location. It's not consistent, but at the end of the week depending how many she's had this week I may just msg them to get more context.
    She will stop what she's doing and use the potty at home and at my mum's place.

    After my tatt, we stopped at IL's place - MIL hurt her knee so we figured BK going would cheer her up. Bonus is M & I got dinner ;) BK doesn't eat what they offered, but SFIL offered other food for her lol
    BK sat on the toilet for the first time - she didn't use it but she sat and seemed to not be freaked out like before. So we may try at home :)
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    Good morning.  It's Tuesday, so there's that. 

    I'm highly annoyed with FIL right now (and DH slightly) and I see impending disaster or at least shit becoming my problem that I don't want to be involved in.  FIL's known for more than year that he needs a shoulder surgery.  He insisted on doing it this Oct due to 'recovery' time.  After this surgery, he won't be able to do things like waterski and he may have to buy a trike vs. ride motorcycles, but the overall recovery time is slated to be 4-5 months. 

    DH, SIL, and BIL have all asked him to push the surgery to right after Christmas (like the 27th) because SIL could fly up here for 10 days, BIL could come in and work from his house for a few days, and people are generally off during the holidays.  He refuses to move it citing that he won't be recovered by summer.  DH *told* him that he has to find help beyond DH because DH cannot do it all himself in the immediate days post-surgery.  There are plenty of people who FIL could ask, but because he's a stubborn a-hole, he doesn't want to ask them because he's got an issue with most of them.

    This was before DH took his new job. FIL has planned for jack shit besides buying a powered recliner.  He has friends that are retired and he swears can come help him and also, he could ask the kiddo to come stay with him for a week or two since the kiddo works as a server and is free during the day often. I've floated the idea to both of them, but I'm not going to demand it because it's not my place really. 

    DH had a manager only meeting yesterday and basically, they were told that peak starts the week of FIL's surgery.  They're already seeing an uptick in orders since 100 days until Christmas happened this past weekend.  Sooo...he may not even be able to be there for FIL's surgery.  DH says he'll 'call off' if he has to, but that is rubbing me the wrong way since he's w/in his first 90 days (I need to remember to remind him to read the fine print).  I'm having a very itchy spidey sense that I'm gonna get some calls/requests to help FIL when I made it very clear to DH that I do not support this timeline due to the strain it will put on us and that I am responsible for my job, DefConn, the house, etc. especially with DH's new schedule. I am happy to cook food and drop off groceries, but I am not my FIL's fucking nurse.  

    Of course, I bring this up to DH last night and his response was basically to throw up his hands and be all, "I tried! He wouldn't listen. So eff my dad."  Which yeah that's how he feels right now, but when the moment arrives he will be singing a new tune (and pleading with me since he'll be working 50-60 hours/week).  I hate that Covid is surging for the billionth time right now, but there's a small part of me that hopes his surgery gets bumped because of it.  *sigh*  I am going to address it with DH again in the next day or two, but I have to figure out for me which hill to die on.  And I am terrible at caving when the call or text is right there. 

    In other news, DH can't make it to his aunt's funeral (in NC).  It's this Thursday and DH will miss too much training.  I need to find the funeral info and send flowers. 

    Other than that, SSDD for the most part.  I need the 80's to go away.  I was much enjoying the 60's/70's.  The heat may go now.  LOL 
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    Had a productive day yesterday.  Chiquita LOVED her field trip to the estuary and then had soccer practice.  Her coach said that she was a PHENOMENAL goalie and it really boosted her confidence.  

    DH's snoring is back and in FULL effect.  I don't want to tell him he needs to lose weight but I definitely see a correlation between how much he snores and how much he weighs and it's contributing to how much I wake up at night.  Last night I had to gently pet him like a kitten twice so he'd just purr and not sound like he's needing to saw the bed in half. 
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    We visited another daycare this morning. I still hate the idea of sending him off to strangers but this one seemed good? Huge playground, the kids looked happy, the people seemed reasonable, they have live streams of the rooms. Someone please convince me daycare will be good for him!
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  • levioosalevioosa member
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    Happy belated birthday! @climbingsingle

    Not too much going on here. FI has his first class tonight and he’s a stressed mess. I think he’s building it up a lot and I’m trying to be supportive but geez. My man, you will be okay. 


    image
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    I cannot imagine having my baby home with me over a year and then sending them off to daycare.  It was hard enough to send DefConn to an in-home sitter, whom we loved and adored and became like family, at 8 weeks.  And then moving him to an actual daycare center/preschool when he was 3 (which he hated for the first few weeks because we moved and changed his whole little life) So your feelings are understandable and relatable af, @charlotte989875. 

    That said, he's gonna love being around other kiddos and making little friends.  I'm glad you had a good feeling about the place.  And the livestreams will be fun to look in on so you can see how he's doing.  Did you bring him with you for the visit?  Did he seem interested/engaged in what was going on?  And he's such a big little guy that he'll just bowl over any punks.  LMAO  
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  • flantasticflantastic member
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    @charlotte989875I have loved the hybrid thing we have going on, where I'm home two days a week and DS is in daycare the other three. He loves having other little friends to play with. LOL the two days at home might be more for my benefit than his - for all I know, he'd love to be at "school" every day because they're better at playing with him than I am.

    He will do great. He's young enough too where the transition should be pretty quick.
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  • ei34ei34 member
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    Ohh @kvruns what a cutie!
    @charlotte989875 the daycare sounds nice!  Who has access to the livestream? Daycare will be good for M!
    Happy belated @climbingsingle!
    Ugghh your damn FIL @mrsconn23
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    charlotte989875 said:
    We visited another daycare this morning. I still hate the idea of sending him off to strangers but this one seemed good? Huge playground, the kids looked happy, the people seemed reasonable, they have live streams of the rooms. Someone please convince me daycare will be good for him!
    My kids LOVED daycare.  Chiquita's oldest friend was in the baby room with her when they were under 6 mo old.  Her mom is now my wine buddy. 

    It can help to tell the daycare you want references from parents.  I served as one for the daycare my kids were in and happily referred it to other parents.  They really thrived there.  
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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    charlotte989875 said:
    We visited another daycare this morning. I still hate the idea of sending him off to strangers but this one seemed good? Huge playground, the kids looked happy, the people seemed reasonable, they have live streams of the rooms. Someone please convince me daycare will be good for him!
    BK was at a home daycare but she LOVED it. She'd still be there if it weren't for covid making them hesitant to add another kid.

    Go with your gut 100% - that's the best advise I got when it came to even considering it. Bad gut feeling? Don't do it.
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  • CasadenaCasadena member
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    edited September 2021
    charlotte989875 said:
    We visited another daycare this morning. I still hate the idea of sending him off to strangers but this one seemed good? Huge playground, the kids looked happy, the people seemed reasonable, they have live streams of the rooms. Someone please convince me daycare will be good for him!
    G LOVES going to "school" every day.  It was hard for about 2 weeks at dropoff but after that he is so excited to go everyday and loves seeing the other kids and his favorite teachers.  They get to do so many more fun things than we have the capacity (mentally, space wise, supply wise, etc) to handle at home.  It will be great for him!  

    ETA: we started him back when he was ~14 months - so old enough that he knew we were leaving.  All his teachers said it typically takes about 2 weeks to adjust and it was exactly 2 weeks and then he was all smiles the whole time. 
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    @kvruns, B looks so great!  That stone wall he is sitting on is also a neat "prop".  I'm glad your dad is helping you with the furniture.  That kind of stuff is always easier with two people.

    @climbingsingle, happy birthday!

    @mrsconn23, I can understand your frustration!  Your FIL is being flat-out selfish, just so he doesn't miss out on a few extra weeks of water-skiing.  Have a few numbers for home healthcare services and the website link for Care.com available, once he realizes he needs more help than he thinks.  You and your H can practice, "Sorry Dad, you chose to have your surgery when you knew there would be limited help for you.  I'm working 50-60 hours.  @mrsconn23 also works f/t and has taken on more household stuff because it's my busy season.  Like we told you, we can do XYZ, but we can't do more."  But I know.  It's a lot easier said, than done.

    @charlotte989875, when my sister first sent her oldest to daycare, she said it ripped her heart out when little M cried and begged her not to leave.  But then little M cried again when my sister came to pick her back up, because she didn't want to leave daycare and all her new friends, lol.  He'll be fine and daycare will be good for him.  The people daycare will be the hardest for are you and your H!  Livestream sounds great.

    @STARMOON44, good luck to you, your sister, and BFF today!  What a crazy coincidence you all have interviews on the same day.

    I do not know where my day has gone!  Usually my job is pretty chill but, right now, it feels overwhelming and I'm not being very productive.  I just have so many things bugging me, I can't stay focused.  I need to talk myself up and come back from lunch with a better attitude.

    So I'll focus on the one very unexpected and good thing that happened yesterday.  I got a separate form letter from the NOLA's assessor's office for my properties.  They've reduced my property taxes for this year by 5% on each of them to reflect the potential loss in value due to storm damage.  It's not that they know one way or the other if someone's property was damaged, I assume this is an "across the board" thing.  They also have information that, if you do not think that will be enough to account for the current value of your property, you can vie for an appeal with proof of damages.  One of the ways to appeal is totally online (score!).

    I wasn't even thinking about property values because I expect to have my repairs done before the end of the year anyway.  But their letter got me thinking...why, yes!  I absolutely need to appeal that and ask for a much lower assessment on some of my properties.  Because if you take a proverbial snapshot of THIS moment in time, my loss of value is substantially more than 5% for some of them.  My best example is a single, family house I have.  As an aside, it's my only SFH, I'm usually more of a multi-unit kind of gal.  It has the worst damage and needs a new roof and some ceiling repair.  In it's present "as is" condition, it's worth 20-25% less than it was before.

    Yep.  The roof for that house was replaced after Katrina (16 years ago), though I didn't own it back then.  So it's probably 14-16 years old.  But I also know the previous owner always chose "cheapest possible" instead of quality, so I can't be that surprised it only had a half-life and most of the shingles blew off again in another hurricane.  
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    @mrsconn23 my FIL also just had shoulder surgery.  He has MIL in the house to help him but he's been in a sling for about a month and has been told thus far the following.  I know your mileage may vary based on your FIL but FWIW he's been told:
    1) DO NOT drive unless it's an emergency.  I'm already annoyed that DH did not tell his father that needing alcohol while MIL is galivanting is NOT an emergency.  
    2) He has to wear a sling 23 hours a day for a total of 6 weeks.
    3) He may not lift more than 1 lb with the item in need of repair. 

    This is all before the PT starts and clearly the first day when he's coming out of the outpatient surgery and needing a strong painkiller and rest he needs someone with him.    

    If FIL is on his own I'd be concerned for his recovery just in things like the portioning that may be needed in the refrigerator.   If he also doesn't own a lot of elastic waist pants then it's a decent idea to stock up on some sweats since using the bathroom will literally be a pain in the ass. 


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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    banana468 said:
    @mrsconn23 my FIL also just had shoulder surgery.  He has MIL in the house to help him but he's been in a sling for about a month and has been told thus far the following.  I know your mileage may vary based on your FIL but FWIW he's been told:
    1) DO NOT drive unless it's an emergency.  I'm already annoyed that DH did not tell his father that needing alcohol while MIL is galivanting is NOT an emergency.  
    2) He has to wear a sling 23 hours a day for a total of 6 weeks.
    3) He may not lift more than 1 lb with the item in need of repair. 

    This is all before the PT starts and clearly the first day when he's coming out of the outpatient surgery and needing a strong painkiller and rest he needs someone with him.    

    If FIL is on his own I'd be concerned for his recovery just in things like the portioning that may be needed in the refrigerator.   If he also doesn't own a lot of elastic waist pants then it's a decent idea to stock up on some sweats since using the bathroom will literally be a pain in the ass. 


    Thanks.  :)

    This isn't his first rodeo with a shoulder surgery.  He had one about 25 years ago.  This is ALSO why his lack of engagement with recovery process is so frustrating, not that it's unexpected since this is par for the course.  He did have MIL last time to help him, and I think SIL/BIL were living at home too.  I think he's stocked up on easy pants and what not. 

    But actual physical presence of help after the first day is concerning and he could have had oodles of help if he'd done this at a more convenient time for others. And this is why I'm frustrated with DH and his siblings for not pushing harder on him to make it convenient for others. And it's easy for DH's siblings to just say it doesn't work for them since they live OOT.  

    I did just catch the kiddo. He said he knew he's gonna have to stay with FIL during recovery, so...at least there's that.  
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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
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    charlotte989875 said:
    Oh my gosh @kvruns how did he get so big?? That smile is the best!
    I was just getting ready to say the same thing!

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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
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    Happy belated birthday @climbingsingle. 

    I just got back from getting my hair done. I have given this gal from January until now to figure out my hair - with my input. I'm about ready to find someone else. I do like the color she does but she doesn't get the cut right. I have wavey to curly shorter hair. I think she just doesn't know what to do with it. However, she is also cutting H's hair (the gal that cut our hair FOREVER retired last December) so I think it will be awkward if I start going to someone else. I have a couple of leads but ugh I hate looking for new people of any kind.
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    @ILoveBeachMusic, I meant to wish you luck yesterday on your new business endeavor!  I wasn't familiar with the company you mentioned, but Googled it.  They do seem to have nice good quality, eco-friendly stuff. 
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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
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    short+sassy said:
    @ILoveBeachMusic, I meant to wish you luck yesterday on your new business endeavor!  I wasn't familiar with the company you mentioned, but Googled it.  They do seem to have nice good quality, eco-friendly stuff. 
    Thank you. I've been watching webinars and have a training call tonight. This is all so new to me, but I am excited. I love the products and their mission is really up my alley.
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  • kvrunskvruns member
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    happy birthday @climbingsingle ! Sounds like it was a good celebration

    OMG the stupid fireplace thing took 3+ hours.  I knew the 1 hour in the booklet would be a lie but sheesh
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  • kvrunskvruns member
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    @ILoveBeachMusic switch hair stylists! As hard as that can be, if you're not liking it, try someone else.  Besides, DH can deal with the awkwardness haha
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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
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    kvruns said:
    @ILoveBeachMusic switch hair stylists! As hard as that can be, if you're not liking it, try someone else.  Besides, DH can deal with the awkwardness haha
    I'm planning on it but just dreading it. I need to find someone I trust to just to them I want something new do it. I'm not super picky ( at least didn't think I was) about trying new things on my hair because it will grow out, but she just doesn't seem to remember what she does from one cut to the next. My old stylist had a file on all the different cuts and color we had done over the years! She remembered from one cut to the next. Is that an unusual thing for a stylist or do they remember what they did previously?
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  • kerbohlkerbohl member
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    @kvruns What a cute picture!

    @STARMOON44 I hope it goes well!  Good luck!

    @climbingsingle Happy belated!  I had sangria the other night - it does pack a punch!  Sounds like you had a good birthday, but sorry that you are paying for it the next day.

    Typical Tuesday here.  I have a coworker coming tonight to pick up a gogi berry plant from me.  I separated mine this year into two and somehow a third popped up, so I'm getting rid of that one.  I get enough gogi berries with the two plants.

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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    kvruns said:
    @ILoveBeachMusic switch hair stylists! As hard as that can be, if you're not liking it, try someone else.  Besides, DH can deal with the awkwardness haha
    I'm planning on it but just dreading it. I need to find someone I trust to just to them I want something new do it. I'm not super picky ( at least didn't think I was) about trying new things on my hair because it will grow out, but she just doesn't seem to remember what she does from one cut to the next. My old stylist had a file on all the different cuts and color we had done over the years! She remembered from one cut to the next. Is that an unusual thing for a stylist or do they remember what they did previously?
    That sounds so nice!

    I am probably the wrong person to answer your question, because I don't do much with my hair, lol.

    My hair is long and straight.  My "hair cuts", that I only do every year or two, have no styling involved.  It's, "Please trim the dead ends."

    Coloring is a different story.  My natural color is mainly medium/light brown, but also has some blond.  I sometimes like to dye it lighter/more blond, but nothing that goes too crazy and needs bleach instead of dye, or to have to worry about my roots every 6 weeks.  But apparently, I have a red base to my hair.  They need to be very careful with the mixture and use ash blonds or I suddenly become a redhead.  I learned that the hard way, the first time I ever colored my hair.  Red hair is lovely also!  But when you're expecting blond-blond and it comes out strawberry blond, with an emphasis on the strawberry, it's completely shocking!

    For my coloring, I go to the Aveda Institute.  It's a beauty school, so there is an awesome savings.  Of course, it's never the same stylist because they are students.  But students toward the end of their schooling and experienced teachers who check what they are doing multiple times throughout my appointment.  I've been going there for years and they do keep files on their clients.

    They've always done a great job.  But one of the things that impressed in my first visit is, when I warned them about what my hair does, the student and teach spent extra time getting the formula they created for me right before applying it.  After my hair was dried and I told the stylist I was really happy with the color, she wrote down the formula she had used and put it in my file.  Sure enough, the color I get there has always been consistent.
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