Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Chit Chat
Chit Chat
New Discussion

Teenagers in Wedding

mar1323mar1323 member
First Comment
in Chit Chat
Hello,

So, I got engaged on July 04, 2019. I was so excited and decided to get ahead of myself and ask all my girlfriends to be my bridesmaids along with my (9/10 year old nieces) to be my flower girls as soon as I got engaged. Due to Covid, the venue we were going to book on April 2020 for a 2021 wedding got postponed. Now, here we are. We finally booked a different venue and my wedding is scheduled for May of 2023 (venue was fully booked for 2022). My nieces are now soon to be 12/13 years old. They will be 13/14 going on 14/15 in 2023. They have told me that they will be too grown to be flower girls (Teenagers). My question is, what should I do? I would like for them to be part of my wedding since they were excited to be included but now time has passed and now they're older. The thing is I have 5 bridesmaids and my maid of honor (6). I thought about adding them as Jr. Bridesmaids but 8 girls seems alot to me. Is there a polite way to exclude them or should i just add them as Jr. Bridesmaids or any other ideas to have them included by doing something else?Help!
Report Reply to Post

Re: Teenagers in Wedding

  • geebee908geebee908 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    mar1323 said:
    Hello,

    So, I got engaged on July 04, 2019. I was so excited and decided to get ahead of myself and ask all my girlfriends to be my bridesmaids along with my (9/10 year old nieces) to be my flower girls as soon as I got engaged. Due to Covid, the venue we were going to book on April 2020 for a 2021 wedding got postponed. Now, here we are. We finally booked a different venue and my wedding is scheduled for May of 2023 (venue was fully booked for 2022). My nieces are now soon to be 12/13 years old. They will be 13/14 going on 14/15 in 2023. They have told me that they will be too grown to be flower girls (Teenagers). My question is, what should I do? I would like for them to be part of my wedding since they were excited to be included but now time has passed and now they're older. The thing is I have 5 bridesmaids and my maid of honor (6). I thought about adding them as Jr. Bridesmaids but 8 girls seems alot to me. Is there a polite way to exclude them or should i just add them as Jr. Bridesmaids or any other ideas to have them included by doing something else?Help!
    You've already asked them to be in your wedding party; you always had 8 people on your side. Why is it difficult now to imagine them being a part of your wedding party? I wouldn't refer to them as junior bridesmaids either; they're bridesmaids if they feel they're too old to be flowergirls. 

    If you have this notion that they can't be bridesmaids because they won't be able to carry out some "duties" that you might think bridesmaids are required to do, just know that you're honoring them, having asked them to be in your wedding party and the only thing any wedding party member needs to do is show up in time for the wedding, dressed and ready to stand up with you when you make your vows.
    Report Reply
  • MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I applaud your nieces for being honest with you.  Hopefully it implies you have a strong relationship with each other.  There is never a polite way to exclude anyone from any thing.  They are now bridesmaids. 
    You will now have a total of a 4 year span from your engagement to your wedding.  It is still close to 2 years out until your wedding.  A LOT can happen between now and your wedding in terms of whether all 8 of these BM's will still be able to fulfill their role.  Do not focus on the current number in your wedding party.  A lot of life, and potential changes, will occur between now and then.
    Report Reply
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    With the wedding still 18 months away, I wouldn't do anything with this right now. That's still a lot of time and things can still change.

    If you're in the same position this time next year, ask them to be bridesmaids. 
    Report Reply
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    MyNameIsNot said:
    With the wedding still 18 months away, I wouldn't do anything with this right now. That's still a lot of time and things can still change.

    If you're in the same position this time next year, ask them to be bridesmaids. 
    Ditto this. And I would not remove them from the wedding party. 
    Report Reply
  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Keep them in the WP and then when you're 6 mo or so from it start to consider attire. Once someone is too young for FG then IMO if they're a wedding party member they're either a MOH or a BM.  
    Report Reply
  • maine7mobmaine7mob member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I would just say, hey, you're obviously too old to be flower girls, so how do you feel about being bridesmaids? And let them take it from there. If they aren't sure they want to do this, ask them how they'd like to participate in your wedding because you'd love to have them in some capacity if they are still willing. They may be all in, or one or both of them may just ask to be guests. Either thing is fine, but definitely leave this in their court.
    Report Reply
  • mar1323mar1323 member
    First Comment
    Thank you ladies! This was very helpful!!
    Report Reply
  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    The other role they could have is to be readers, if you are having readings as part of your ceremony.

    If you are, I think it would be nice to give them the choice of if they want to be a reader or a BM.  But if they all chose reader, just make sure to keep what they are reading short, since there will be three of them reading.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards