What are all the necessary steps to have a Catholic marriage at church?

Re: What are all the necessary steps to have a Catholic marriage at church?

• MyNameIsNot member

  

  October 2021

  knottie4fedf38fb6da027a said:

  My fiance and I are getting married in Mexico next year. My fiance wants have a Catholic marriage at church.

  I am not sure about the entire process. I am not baptized yet or have done anything else in regards to going to a Catholic church. My fiance says she is baptized (happened in Mexico) but has not completed her ‘Confirmation’ yet.

  We currently lived in the USA. Do we just go to any Catholic church and complete the process with the Priest/Father before the wedding?

  You have to work with the parish where you want to be married, so that will be the one in Mexico. Since she was baptized in Mexico, I'm assuming she or her family still has a connection with that church. 
  
  Universally, the Catholic church requires at least one of you be a practicing Catholic, that you have no prior marriages (or they be annulled), and that you promise to raise any children in the church. That doesn't necessarily mean she has to be confirmed, but it varies. Many parishes or diocese have additional requirements around being members, pre-marital counseling (pre cana), and waiting periods. The norms in the US may vary from Mexico, but they will likely work with the parish where she is a member for things like documentation. 
  
  The other complication is the legality. US citizens have to jump through some hoops to get married in Mexico. (If she's from there, that should make it easier.) Generally, the church is not very accommodating to couples who get legally married and then want to use the church to pretend to get married again later. (Our parish included big bold text about it in the little info packet that they gave out.)

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• banana468 member

  

  October 2021

  If you're getting married in Mexico there are a few things:
  
  1) Verify that you are meeting the legal requirements for a marriage in Mexico before you get there.  Mexico has stricter requirements for marriage and it's not as simple as showing up with an officiant.  This is imperative as your marriage would not be legal if you do not meet these requirements.  
  
  2) Generally before you get married in the Catholic Church at least one half of the couple needs to be Confirmed.   Your FI would need to register with a parish and contact them about the requirements to become a confirmed Catholic.   She will need to look into the timing and if it is possible to do this before your wedding date.  Before being confirmed she would also need to have made her first Sacrament of Reconciliation and Communion.  
  
  3) Being married as a Catholic means not just marrying in the Church but following the rules of the marriage.  That means that you are agreeing to follow Catholic teaching in your marriage including being open to children and raising them in the church.  You will likely have additional questioning because you are not Catholic and generally that would mean that a priest would advise you to not have a Mass and instead a marriage ceremony as the mass has communion and you cannot receive the Eucharist as someone who is not Catholic yourself.  
  
  Then you'll need to look into the possibilities of not just being married in Mexico but being married in a Catholic Church in Mexico and finding out what the requirements are for a marriage to be recognized as both legal and Catholically valid.  In the US, the priest is allowed to marry you legally and in the faith.  I am not sure if that is how marriages are done in Mexico and you'll need to look  into all of that. 
  
  Finally, you'll want to talk to your FI about all of this and the rules that you'll have to abide by.  Will you convert?  Do you agree to raise your children as Catholics?  The latter will be a requirement that you'll need to agree to and if you don't it's grounds for an annulment.   

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• geebee908 member

  

  October 2021

  You will probably face another hurdle because you are not baptized. I believe the non-Catholic has to be a baptized Christian, at least, for a sacramental marriage in the church to be performed. My sister-in-law had a civil marriage performed by her pastor in her parish church, but he could not witness the sacramental Rite of Marriage for them because her now husband was not baptized. Their ceremony also had to be very small; it was only the couple and their parents.

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• maine7mob member

  

  October 2021

  Before you do this, you need to decide if you actually want to become a Catholic, not just for the sake of marrying in a particular Catholic church, but as an intentional religious decision.
  
  

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• banana468 member

  

  October 2021

  maine7mob said:

  Before you do this, you need to decide if you actually want to become a Catholic, not just for the sake of marrying in a particular Catholic church, but as an intentional religious decision.
  
  

  @maine7mob only one half of the couple needs to be Catholic in order for the wedding to take place in the Catholic Church.  The other partner does not need to be Catholic but there are additional requirements that need to be met should the OP not be baptized in any Christian denomination.  

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• maine7mob member

  

  October 2021

  I was wondering about the baptism thing. I thought you had to be baptized in a Christian denomination in order to get married in the Catholic church, even if you aren't Catholic and aren't having a full mass?

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• banana468 member

  

  October 2021

  maine7mob said:

  I was wondering about the baptism thing. I thought you had to be baptized in a Christian denomination in order to get married in the Catholic church, even if you aren't Catholic and aren't having a full mass?

  I believe there's a possible dispensation allowed if you are not of any Christian faith but the couple needs to apply for that dispensation which is not automatically given AND then the wedding would not be considered Sacramental but I think it would be considered valid.  This would be the case if a Catholic married someone who was Jewish, Hindu, etc.  
  
  You are right that it's often easier if at least both are baptized Christians and the other half of the couple is confirmed. 

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