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Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
What are all the necessary steps to have a Catholic marriage at church?
My fiance and I are getting married in Mexico next year. My fiance wants have a Catholic marriage at church.
I am not sure about the entire process. I am not baptized yet or have done anything else in regards to going to a Catholic church. My fiance says she is baptized (happened in Mexico) but has not completed her ‘Confirmation’ yet.
We currently lived in the USA. Do we just go to any Catholic church and complete the process with the Priest/Father before the wedding?
Re: What are all the necessary steps to have a Catholic marriage at church?
Universally, the Catholic church requires at least one of you be a practicing Catholic, that you have no prior marriages (or they be annulled), and that you promise to raise any children in the church. That doesn't necessarily mean she has to be confirmed, but it varies. Many parishes or diocese have additional requirements around being members, pre-marital counseling (pre cana), and waiting periods. The norms in the US may vary from Mexico, but they will likely work with the parish where she is a member for things like documentation.
The other complication is the legality. US citizens have to jump through some hoops to get married in Mexico. (If she's from there, that should make it easier.) Generally, the church is not very accommodating to couples who get legally married and then want to use the church to pretend to get married again later. (Our parish included big bold text about it in the little info packet that they gave out.)
1) Verify that you are meeting the legal requirements for a marriage in Mexico before you get there. Mexico has stricter requirements for marriage and it's not as simple as showing up with an officiant. This is imperative as your marriage would not be legal if you do not meet these requirements.
2) Generally before you get married in the Catholic Church at least one half of the couple needs to be Confirmed. Your FI would need to register with a parish and contact them about the requirements to become a confirmed Catholic. She will need to look into the timing and if it is possible to do this before your wedding date. Before being confirmed she would also need to have made her first Sacrament of Reconciliation and Communion.
3) Being married as a Catholic means not just marrying in the Church but following the rules of the marriage. That means that you are agreeing to follow Catholic teaching in your marriage including being open to children and raising them in the church. You will likely have additional questioning because you are not Catholic and generally that would mean that a priest would advise you to not have a Mass and instead a marriage ceremony as the mass has communion and you cannot receive the Eucharist as someone who is not Catholic yourself.
Then you'll need to look into the possibilities of not just being married in Mexico but being married in a Catholic Church in Mexico and finding out what the requirements are for a marriage to be recognized as both legal and Catholically valid. In the US, the priest is allowed to marry you legally and in the faith. I am not sure if that is how marriages are done in Mexico and you'll need to look into all of that.
Finally, you'll want to talk to your FI about all of this and the rules that you'll have to abide by. Will you convert? Do you agree to raise your children as Catholics? The latter will be a requirement that you'll need to agree to and if you don't it's grounds for an annulment.
You are right that it's often easier if at least both are baptized Christians and the other half of the couple is confirmed.