Wedding Woes

Dia de Prudence

Was able to get my kids their flu shots yesterday, woohoo.  I'll get mine in early November, probably.  After work/school is counseling followed by the ever popular spaghetti and meatballs for dinner.  Made the pasta this morning before work (and the balls-n-sauce is from a couple days ago, leftovers) so it'll truly be a heat and serve kind of night.  Wishing everyone a good day.
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Re: Dia de Prudence

  • The most exciting thing happening today is that one of our reps is buying us lunch from a really good Italian place. Pasta and cannoli! 

    SSDD. Did my 3rd Peleton ride. My legs and my tush hurt. 
    Padded bike shorts really helped me get used to the Peloton
  • I need to get a flu shot scheduled for DefConn and me. DH got one at work.  

    Thank GOD DH had a better night last night AND his boss was all, "Yeah, you've had a crazy start and it's not normally like this."  I was deeply concerned after 2 nights of BS that we'd made a mistake. 

    I was off yesterday.  I slept in until about 10am and puttered around the house for a bit.  I decided to get a pedi and I dropped my friend's sunglasses off at her house that she'd left here on Sunday.  After that, I came home and had a low-key night. 

    I'm still trying to figure out what to do with myself at night.  The last time DH was on nights, DefConn was much younger and needed more from me.  I feel out of sorts since DefConn is so self-sufficient and entertains himself.  He'll ask to watch a show with me, but we'll watch, like, 1 episode.  

    It's muggy af today, but not too warm.  I'm trying to keep the windows open since temps fall off a cliff after today. 

    Hoping DH doesn't have to work tomorrow night.  DefConn wants to stay at FIL's house.  That means DH and I could squeeze in a date.  

    Prudie soon.  

  • It's leftover Ham & Bean soup for us tonight.  I made a big pot earlier in the week.  I'll probably freeze some portions after tonight.  Freezer soup is great to pull out on a winter day.

    Have I said how I love my supervisor?  She really goes to bat for our work unit and has our backs.  We are in a turf dispute with another unit right now - it's dumb.  But she's been great at navigating it with the other manager.  It makes a frustrating situation so much better.

    Fall is definitely here - high of 60 here today.  We haven't turned on the heat yet.  We do have an electric "fireplace" that we turn on in the evening and early morning to warm up the living area.  Hoping to get some leaf peeping in this weekend since we couldn't go last week.  

    Happy Prudie Day!

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  • I took DS to the doctor this morning. Poor guy has an ear and chest infection. So we have a round of antibiotics and a follow up appt on Sunday.

    I will be the first person to tell you how much I hate bikes but I don't understand, if everyone needs padded shorts, why don't they just make the seats padded? 
  • I have a padded seat too! (Ontop of the one it came with). So even with a padded seat AND shorts - I can still feel the seat.  I must have a bony butt. Or god awful seat?

  • @ei34 and @banana468, I want to raid both your refrigerators, lol!  Good luck on the singing, @banana468, though I'm sure you'll do great.  Congrats to your FIL and MIL.  50 years is an amazing milestone.

    Not too much going on today, though it will be busy.  After work, I'm picking up a gift at Harrahs.  It's a set of cutting boards, which is great because we've been needing new ones for awhile.  But I won't be able to stay long because Thursdays are the start of the week for my Costco scanning, so I need to jet over and start that.  In fact, if it wasn't something I wanted/needed, I wouldn't even bother picking it up.

    We are (finally!) almost ready to list the rental where we've had all the problems of the deadbeat tenant and her b/f that broke out the windows and then our window company royally screwing up our order.  I just can't wait to finally get a tenant in there so we can start to move on from this nightmare.  The tenants who live on the other side have expressed an interest in renting it, because it is a much bigger unit.  But, when I spoke to them earlier this month, they weren't sure they could swing it right now due to car repairs.

    They had some horrible stuff happen to them!  I've mentioned before how bad the crime has become in NOLA, especially related to car jackings and car theft.  The guy got into a car accident.  The other car that caused the accident was stolen.  A bunch of teenagers jumped out and drew a gun on him, so he wouldn't call the police until they left.  He is such a nice person and he and his g/f work so hard.  It sickens me that happened to him.  He wasn't physically injured (thank goodness!), but was really shaken up.  Plus, he only had liability on his car, so now he has to fix it out-of-pocket.

    At any rate, I told them when we were ready to list, we would let them know first.  I'm crossing my fingers on that.    
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  • I am having a week. I decided on a car and applied for a loan on Monday. Well, the loan came back approved EXCEPT, they said, for an account I have in collections. Excuse me, what? So I look again at my credit report (meanwhile I’ve been checking it at least once a month to make sure everything looks okay as I prepare to apply for a loan) and bam, there’s an account in collections for the tune of $3,000 that I did not open. I had my identity stolen in 2016 and every once in awhile stuff happens with it. I’m so upset. It’s reliving a nightmare every time. And I stay on top of it which makes this even more frustrating. So now I can’t move forward with the loan, I have to scramble to get paperwork out, and I have to fight with all three credit agencies, the collections agency, and the originator of the bill. I might lose out on the car I want that I currently have on hold. It’s very upsetting. 

    I also dropped my phone and it shattered on Tuesday night. So it’s been a real winner of a week. 


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  • I have a padded seat too! (Ontop of the one it came with). So even with a padded seat AND shorts - I can still feel the seat.  I must have a bony butt. Or god awful seat?

    I have a feeling I have a bony but as well..lol. I remember trying the padded shorts back when I took spin and they didn't make a difference. 
  • @CharmedPam, I never thought about it, but I had better luck with dinner dates also back in my single days.  I'd guess it's because those kind of dates are longer, so you get to know a person better and there is more motivation to go out again if it went well.  Though I didn't have many first dates that were only coffee or drinks, so it's probably anecdotal to compare.

    But then, for the same reason, coffee or drink dates can be so much more convenient because they're shorter.  If there isn't much interest, neither much time or money has been spent to learn that.

    I've heard that since men usually pay for first dates...though I get the impression that's regional? (not sure)...they often like to do just drinks or coffee to keep the cost down.  Which I can totally understand.  And, since this guy asked you for a coffee date, that's kind of what you are stuck with.  I think it's okay to suggest drinks as an option, because that's comparable, but to want to change it to dinner...even if you offered to pay for yourself...is kind of "changing the terms" of what he asked.
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  • I love drinks for a first date. Easy to add on dinner if you are vibing or leave after one drink if not. 
  • @CharmedPam I read a piece of advice one time that said a first date should always be an activity; putt putt, art museum, hike, anything where there is something to do beside look at each other and talk. 
  • levioosa said:
    I am having a week. I decided on a car and applied for a loan on Monday. Well, the loan came back approved EXCEPT, they said, for an account I have in collections. Excuse me, what? So I look again at my credit report (meanwhile I’ve been checking it at least once a month to make sure everything looks okay as I prepare to apply for a loan) and bam, there’s an account in collections for the tune of $3,000 that I did not open. I had my identity stolen in 2016 and every once in awhile stuff happens with it. I’m so upset. It’s reliving a nightmare every time. And I stay on top of it which makes this even more frustrating. So now I can’t move forward with the loan, I have to scramble to get paperwork out, and I have to fight with all three credit agencies, the collections agency, and the originator of the bill. I might lose out on the car I want that I currently have on hold. It’s very upsetting. 

    I also dropped my phone and it shattered on Tuesday night. So it’s been a real winner of a week. 
    I am so sorry, @levioosa.  That does sound like a nightmare that never ends.  I hope you don't lose out on the car.

    I had something similar happen to me this year.  Not related to identity theft thankfully, but HUGE ERRORS on my credit report that totally screwed up refinancing my HELOC.  Like yourself, I watch my credit report/score like a hawk.  I had strategized exactly when I was applying for that HELOC.  Only to have it approved for substantially less than what it was supposed to be because the total morons who service my three real estate business loans had put all of them under my personal social security number, instead of my business EIN.  I don't even own those properties under my personal name.  I could not even fathom how they made that mistake not once.  But three times.  Completely outrageous and it was nothing that could be fixed fast enough for me to get the loan I was supposed to.  I had to turn the HELOC loan offer down.  It was wasted time and money, plus a wasted hard inquiry on my credit.

    Our whole credit system is such a pile of s**t in this country.  Consumers have so few rights and those can only be enacted AFTER the "bad" has been done.  All of it is infuriating.    
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  • Damn @levioosa that sucks! I had my identity stolen years ago and it’s so hard when something pops on it again. Hoping you can straighten it out quickly and still get the car!
  • Sounds like an WW Italian food day. I'm making lasagna for dinner tonight. I slept in late (for me) and didn't get up until almost 7. It has really thrown my day off - I usually wake up between 5 and 6. I'm going to a friend's house for happy hour this afternoon. Hopefully the weather will hold because they have a lovely patio.

    Last night H and I went back to dance lessons. We laughed so much because we could hardly remember anything. We were doing foxtrot last night and remembered like 4 steps. Oh well it will get better - now on to waltz, chacha, swing and rumba!

    I wore padded bike shorts when I started cycling (indoor and outdoor). Now I just wear regular bike/yoga shorts. As long as I'm not on it for more than 45 minutes or so I'm ok. Padded seats never did much for me.

    @missJeanLouise hope the antibiotics take care of DS's infections!
  • Oh gosh @levioosa that's awful, I'm sorry.  I didn't know you sang @banana468, that's nice of you to have volunteered.  @CharmedPam I prefer drinks/coffee for a first date to dinner, although like @missJeanLouise said an activity is actually my favorite first date. I remember several Mets (baseball) games being perfect bc you could walk around the stadium, talk but have conversation lulls bc there was a game going on, eat and drink, all in one place.  (But please take that with a grain of salt, my last first date was in 2009, lol) @MNNEBride standing O for your supervisor and that weather- it's 75 by me right now, unfortunately.
  • I have a padded seat too! (Ontop of the one it came with). So even with a padded seat AND shorts - I can still feel the seat.  I must have a bony butt. Or god awful seat?

    I have a feeling I have a bony but as well..lol. I remember trying the padded shorts back when I took spin and they didn't make a difference. 
    I do not have a bony butt.  I wore padded shorts and used a padded seat when I used to ride and it always hurt.  Eventually your butt gets used to it and it won't hurt as much.  I even had to buy a pad for my rowing machine seat b/c that one hurt too.
  • I sang throughout HS and was in all state my senior year.  I will do things like sing on Sundays but this is the first time I'm soloing.  I'm intimidated but I think I can do it.

    I used to wear padded shorts to bike.  Now I have a padded seat and that is fine for me.  It lets me buy cheaper shorts! 
  • I so admire people who can perform in public! I have trouble speaking in public. I'm sure you will do a wonderful job @banana468.
  • @climbingsingle, I wanna hear about your trip!  Wasn't the resort fabulous?  Did you make it to the winery?!  


  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2021
    I hadn’t even known you went & came back already @climbingsingle!
    @levioosa that is the absolute worst.  I hope it clears for you quickly and the car is still there.  
    Good luck @banana468, I’m sure you’ll do beautifully.

    yeah, he said coffee & a walk as a suggestion. But that was an afternoon thing. And he asked a few days ago thinking it would be Sunday - but now my plans changed so I’m sure both of us are fighting to find small talk now and wait to really talk the day of. 
    Oh, and after I changed those plans my mom texted me with “we’ve been thinking and if we come Sunday there’s not a lot of time to do what we want to do.  We still can. Or go back to the 20th? What works better?”
    MOM!!! i’ve changed plans for you twice already. I can’t do it again. They know I’m busy and planning a lot. 

  • mrsconn23 said:
    @climbingsingle, I wanna hear about your trip!  Wasn't the resort fabulous?  Did you make it to the winery?!  


    It was great! Didn't make it to the winery. The hotel was fantastic. The only thing I was disappointed in was their food for the catered events. I was surprised at the quality. Yet the food at the bars/cafes on site was really good! 

    We went to Haleakala State Park. Went shopping and ate in Paia and Makawao. Snorkeled out in Molokini. I took yoga on the beach every morning. The room was gorgeous - we had an ocean view. I did not want to come home! 
    Snorkeling Molokini was so freaking cool. We had to leave early because the water was too choppy, but it was a highlight of our trip. 

    All our pics are coming up from 5 years ago. Dh and I hope to go back, but do the big island next time. 
  • mrsconn23 said:
    mrsconn23 said:
    @climbingsingle, I wanna hear about your trip!  Wasn't the resort fabulous?  Did you make it to the winery?!  


    It was great! Didn't make it to the winery. The hotel was fantastic. The only thing I was disappointed in was their food for the catered events. I was surprised at the quality. Yet the food at the bars/cafes on site was really good! 

    We went to Haleakala State Park. Went shopping and ate in Paia and Makawao. Snorkeled out in Molokini. I took yoga on the beach every morning. The room was gorgeous - we had an ocean view. I did not want to come home! 
    Snorkeling Molokini was so freaking cool. We had to leave early because the water was too choppy, but it was a highlight of our trip. 

    All our pics are coming up from 5 years ago. Dh and I hope to go back, but do the big island next time. 
    I definitely cannot wait to go back. Obviously though it's a bit of a hike from NJ. I flew through CA both times through so at least it broke up in the middle. 
  • I hadn’t even known you went & came back already @climbingsingle!
    @levioosa that is the absolute worst.  I hope it clears for you quickly and the car is still there.  
    Good luck @banana468, I’m sure you’ll do beautifully.

    yeah, he said coffee & a walk as a suggestion. But that was an afternoon thing. And he asked a few days ago thinking it would be Sunday - but now my plans changed so I’m sure both of us are fighting to find small talk now and wait to really talk the day of. 
    Oh, and after I changed those plans my mom texted me with “we’ve been thinking and if we come Sunday there’s not a lot of time to do what we want to do.  We still can. Or go back to the 20th? What works better?”
    MOM!!! i’ve changed plans for you twice already. I can’t do it again. They know I’m busy and planning a lot. 
    I just had a flashback to one of my worst first dates.  We met online and had chatted a few times.  He asked me out.  He said one of his favorite things to do was run and asked if I wanted to go on a jog with him at a local park.

    I told him I absolutely hated running and I don't do it but, if he didn't mind me walking instead, that sounded great.  He agreed but then, over the chat, kept telling me we would run/walk or he hoped I'd run with him for a little bit.  I told him unequivically each time that I would not run at all.  I even gave him an "out" and said something like, "I've repeatedly told you I won't run, but that seems important to you, so if you want to call off our date, I totally understand."  No, no, no...he really wanted to meet me.

    My mistake is that I should have called off the date because his pushiness before he even met me was already pissing me off and sending up red flags.  But I was young and dumb.

    So we met at the park and started walking around the perimeter.  The first thing he says to me in a lighthearted, joking way was, "Those aren't good running shoes."  I was wearing those plain kind of tennis shoes that are perfectly fine for walking but no, they aren't designed for running.  I laughed back, "That's because I'm not running."  It's a fairly large park and it took us about 45 minutes to walk all the way around it.  He asked me a few more times to "give running a try".  Me: "No."  Give running a try, lmao.  It's not a sport like skiing or surfing, where maybe I've never done it before.

    Once we got back to where we started, I'll give him credit that he was honest and didn't mince words.  He said something like, "You seem really nice, but I don't think we're a good match."  I laughed and told him I agreed.  I really wanted to add, "...because you're a pushy AH."  But since I am "nice", I wished him luck on his search instead.    
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  • God no @short+sassy, I’m not a runner either and that guy clearly wanted a gf who went running with him! Which you kindly brought up before the date even happened. I’m fine with gym people - but I’m not super into gyms and fitness and I need to do that alone!

  • God no @short+sassy, I’m not a runner either and that guy clearly wanted a gf who went running with him! Which you kindly brought up before the date even happened. I’m fine with gym people - but I’m not super into gyms and fitness and I need to do that alone!
    The rest of our conversation was fine and he seemed pleasant.  But someone who is that controlling about something so soon was alarming.
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