Dear Prudence,
How can I be supportive of someone (my sister-in-law) who has bariatric surgery without going down the rabbit hole? I get that people have the right to their own body and that something like this is given careful consideration. All that being said, hearing about it and thinking about it is distressing, as I have a history of atypical anorexia. My husband and I have worked out a way to support each other’s health goals, but food and diets become a frequent conversation topic with his folks, and it will probably only get worse after the surgery. I worry about the risks of the surgery, which often seem far worse than the possible risks that come from being fat. Actually, I’m down right worried that this will kill her, full-stop.
Obviously, this isn’t about me, but at the same time jeopardizing my recovery would be a disaster. What boundaries could I put in and what ways can I support my SIL after surgery that aren’t centered around dieting or weight?
— Feeling the Weight of Fatphobia