Man, we must all be taking a battering with work, covid, and just life in general for me to be starting a post at 10:30 am my time.
So, weirdly enough, the 2 weeks of isolation did some things for my mental health journey. There is a story about something that happened with K on Friday, It's not worth sharing, but it did show me a few things: K is still a shit show and blessed that they are no longer my shit show, I am healed from the trauma bond, and my happiness is on solid footing for the first time in 15 months. I finally feel like I have shifted out of survival mode and into living mode for the first time in years. I still having feelings of uncertainty, but I have a lot more confidence in myself that I have had for awhile now, it's not an unhealthy amount of uncertainty, my tools have definitely kicked in and made a difference, and it all feels both terrifying and joyous.
My birthday is coming up and IDK what I want to do. Our county health officials are saying that we have not peaked yet and aren't expecting it until mid-February. I'd like to do something; my last 2 birthdays have been absolutely terrible for one reason or another.
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