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Monday

ei34ei34 member
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in Wedding Woes
We're here.  How was everyone's weekend? Mine was pretty standard...except on Saturday night I stumbled onto an incredible Instagram account, custodypeace, and I can't stop reading the posts.  It's like it was written just for me (I know it wasn't, lol).  My biggest current takeaway is DARVO, which is basically STBXH.  Among some other really powerful thoughts and quotes.  I can't describe how it feels to see your life in writing, and that feeling of someone else knowing what it's like.  

(D- deny they did anything wrong    A- attack the person who is challenging them   RVO- reverse victim and offender -where they reposition themselves as a the real victim in a situation they caused).  
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Re: Monday

  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    I had a good weekend.  I met my H at Costco after work on Friday.  We knocked our scanning and were home earlier than usual because we didn't have other errands to run.

    My gas station shops on Saturday were even quicker and easier than I expected.  Two of them were next door to each other, though different brands.  I made about 100 bucks for a total of 3 hours of work and that includes driving time.  I also had a big shopping trip at Sam's, since my membership is about to expire.

    Local slang.  Grocery shopping is called "making groceries".  It's more an old-timey phrase, but you still hear it on occasion.  So, I made groceries at Sam's this weekend, lol.

    Sunday was just relaxing.  I cleaned out the fridge some.  I made a special effort to eat foods that were on the verge of going bad and use sauces that only had a few dollops left.  

    Sauces/dressings have always been the bane of my refrigerator existence.  I'll open something.  Use it once or twice and then it lives in my fridge door forever, lol.  That's precious real estate!  I need to start making real plans to use that kind of stuff and, if I can't think of anything to use it for and haven't touched it in 6 months, it gets tossed. 

    This morning was not great.  I was having a dream that seemed real, so it kept waking me up and worrying me starting at 5AM.  I'd try to calm my mind and tell myself, "It's just a dream, relax."  I'd fall right back asleep, but right back to the dream and worrying.  Ugh!  Especially since, for once, I went to bed at a reasonable hour on Sunday night so I'd feel more energized on Monday morning.  Nope.  Super tired because of that dream.
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    I’m glad you found something that is helpful @ei34. The first time I read about DARVO (in this case in racial equity context) it was like a lightening bulb! 
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  • Jstump2Jstump2 member
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    Happy Monday!

    I had a nice/busy weekend.

    Friday my parents came up and we ordered pizza. Saturday was jam-packed. I met my girlfriend for a cold-brew coffee/donut pairing at a local coffee shop and H took daughter to gymnastics. When I got home he wanted my help which turned into us painting the built-ins (finally!). By the time we cleaned up it was around 4pm and we had been inside all day with it being beautiful out, so we picked up subs and hit up a park with the kids. We ate there and let them play for over an hour, then we went to our favorite ice cream parlor for our inaugural visit!

    Yesterday, we spent the morning catching up on laundry and cleaning. After lunch, I took the girls to a princess event I had bought tickets for a while ago. We met my friend and her daughter there and then they came over after to let the kids play and dinner. After they left I took the kids for a walk/bike ride around the neighborhood and then it was bedtime!

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  • kvrunskvruns member
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    I'm glad you found something that speaks to you @ei34 although not a good topic but something that reminds you you're not alone and you're so strong for putting your children and yourself first as much as you can

    this made me think of a preliminary divorce decree I read for work last week (I had to find info in it relevant to our question) and it made me worried for the kids and the family. The dad was getting 1 4 hour of supervised visitation per month and the kid had to have a counseling session after each contact - this was all part of the court order. He also was not allowed any time with the other child.  I definitely look at things like that with a new lens these days
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  • kvrunskvruns member
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    congrats @STARMOON44
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    @JStump2, Is that a dark navy blue?  I really like it.  The built-ins look amazing.  I am also a sucker for anything that gives more storage, lol.

    Which reminds me my H and I have a couple massive projects we need to do for our own house, that we have been putting off for years.  We really need to stop procrastinating.  Easier said than done, lol.  But one of them involves making an accent wall at the side of our living room into a built-in.  So I finally have somewhere to put all the books that are in an overflowing bookcase and multiple totes!

    Except it isn't as simple as that.  We also need to remove the popcorn ceiling AND the "popcorn border" that comes 18" down the wall.  I hate that thing.  It's a 100+ year-old with high 12' ceilings throughout.  It's an amazing feature, so why-why-WHY would anyone want to make the rooms "look" shorter than they really are.  Then repaint all the walls, once that is done.  Then the built-in toward the end of that process.

    You can see why we have been procrastinating, lol.
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    That looks awesome @Jstump2!!
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  • MNNEBrideMNNEBride member
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    We are slowly getting back to "normal" after having a very nasty upper respiratory virus at our house.  DH missed 4 days of work and I missed 2.5 days.  My version stayed in my sinuses and his settled in his chest.  We were both exhausted.  He did 2 home and one lab Covid tests which were negative.  I did one home test which was also negative.  We are both back to work today and will probably crash this evening.

    Our weekend involved lots of tissues, TV and naps.
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    @MNNEBride, I hope you and your H continue feeling better!  Sounds like it was a rough week.

    @Casadena, thanks for the update.  I've been thinking about you all.  That's amazing your sister was able to come out for a month to help.  I'm also glad that you and your H have been able to adjust your schedules.  I hope this month is as manageable as possible and gets much better, after this.
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  • Jstump2Jstump2 member
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    edited March 2022
    Thanks Everyone! @short+sassy It's a navy blue, Hale Navy! Oh, I totally get that, starting a project has a way of just snow-balling. Popcorn ceiling is thew worst, so messy to take down, ugh. I just finished taking down wallpaper in the rest of the room so we can start prepping to paint walls.The rest of our house is in various stages of construction. I know it will be totally worth it in the end though. It's just getting there sometimes. Haha

    Also the storage is AMAZING! Those lower cabinets have outlets in two so they are housing the printer and charging station for laptops and tablets. I still have empty cabinet space that I haven't filled yet too!
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  • missJeanLouisemissJeanLouise member
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    @Casadena thanks for the update. You guys have been on my mind daily. Sending all the good healthy vibes your way. Please let us know if/when there is something we can help with.
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    ((hugs)) @Casadena.  I'm so glad your sister can be there for the next month and your H's schedule is flexible.  Thinking of y'all!!  
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    A new employee started and has his cube across the aisle from me.  One of the project managers who is related to the family that owns this company is on-boarding him.

    I'm very surprised, in a good way, for something I just overheard.

    Supposedly, the company is planning to give WFH options within the next 6-9 months!  They've been so sh***y about it so far, that I'm pretty shocked.  But he was saying he is for it and the Big Boss with this client is also for it, as long as the work gets done and the client stays happy.  We all work for the same client on this floor.  And THEY seem to have permanently gone to WFH.  They had about a dozen people who worked out of our offices pre-pandemic.  Only two of them have come back to this office on a hybrid schedule.  The client person I primarily work for has told me he would prefer a hybrid schedule also, but his company is still frowning on people being in the office at all, unless they have to be.

    I couldn't believe how much better my work-life balance was for the all too brief 7 weeks I was allowed to WFH.  (Please, please, please, puhleeezzzzzzzz really do this.) 
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    short+sassy said:
    A new employee started and has his cube across the aisle from me.  One of the project managers who is related to the family that owns this company is on-boarding him.

    I'm very surprised, in a good way, for something I just overheard.

    Supposedly, the company is planning to give WFH options within the next 6-9 months!  They've been so sh***y about it so far, that I'm pretty shocked.  But he was saying he is for it and the Big Boss with this client is also for it, as long as the work gets done and the client stays happy.  We all work for the same client on this floor.  And THEY seem to have permanently gone to WFH.  They had about a dozen people who worked out of our offices pre-pandemic.  Only two of them have come back to this office on a hybrid schedule.  The client person I primarily work for has told me he would prefer a hybrid schedule also, but his company is still frowning on people being in the office at all, unless they have to be.

    I couldn't believe how much better my work-life balance was for the all too brief 7 weeks I was allowed to WFH.  (Please, please, please, puhleeezzzzzzzz really do this.) 
    It seems like more and  more reputable companies need to start doing this or they're going to lose employees to their competitors.  DH has witnessed this with his employer and their middle management has had the conversations to say that they really needed to get far more progressive with their practices or they're going to lose more people and it's going to be a huge issue for them.  
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    Thinking of you @Casadena; im glad you can take leave and be there for the snuggles. 
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    banana468 said:
    short+sassy said:
    A new employee started and has his cube across the aisle from me.  One of the project managers who is related to the family that owns this company is on-boarding him.

    I'm very surprised, in a good way, for something I just overheard.

    Supposedly, the company is planning to give WFH options within the next 6-9 months!  They've been so sh***y about it so far, that I'm pretty shocked.  But he was saying he is for it and the Big Boss with this client is also for it, as long as the work gets done and the client stays happy.  We all work for the same client on this floor.  And THEY seem to have permanently gone to WFH.  They had about a dozen people who worked out of our offices pre-pandemic.  Only two of them have come back to this office on a hybrid schedule.  The client person I primarily work for has told me he would prefer a hybrid schedule also, but his company is still frowning on people being in the office at all, unless they have to be.

    I couldn't believe how much better my work-life balance was for the all too brief 7 weeks I was allowed to WFH.  (Please, please, please, puhleeezzzzzzzz really do this.) 
    It seems like more and  more reputable companies need to start doing this or they're going to lose employees to their competitors.  DH has witnessed this with his employer and their middle management has had the conversations to say that they really needed to get far more progressive with their practices or they're going to lose more people and it's going to be a huge issue for them.  
    I suspect that is some of what is prompting this.  It's an engineering firm and, right now, engineers are in short supply.

    Most of our competitors went to a 4 10's schedule choice years ago and I know we've lost people, even just for that.  But since the pandemic, most of our competitors now also have a hybrid or mostly WFH option.  I get the impression they've had trouble both attracting and retaining people because of this.

    I know I just saw a job posting on Glass Door the other day that looks like it's a NOLA company, but is 100% WFH.  There are a lot of qualifications and I more than meet them all, so I feel like I'd be a strong contender.  I'd have to massively brush up my resume and cover letter, lol.  But I've been really thinking about it.  Not only this job opportunity, but to start looking for anything else that is WFH.

    Now that I've heard this, though.  Maybe I don't want to leave.  If I knew for sure I could have a WFH or even hybrid schedule 6-9 months from now, I definitely wouldn't leave.  But that feels like too much of a gamble.

    Logically, I know I should at least look.  There's no harm in that, except for time.  But it's really hard for me.  For as much as I complain about it, this is a pretty sweet job in some important ways.  I'm very afraid of the "unknown", because I've had toxic jobs and coworkers.  "The devil you know" and all that.
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  • ei34ei34 member
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    I've been thinking of you and your family daily @Casadena- hoping it is going okay.  It sounds like G is surrounded by love
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    short+sassy said:
    banana468 said:
    short+sassy said:
    A new employee started and has his cube across the aisle from me.  One of the project managers who is related to the family that owns this company is on-boarding him.

    I'm very surprised, in a good way, for something I just overheard.

    Supposedly, the company is planning to give WFH options within the next 6-9 months!  They've been so sh***y about it so far, that I'm pretty shocked.  But he was saying he is for it and the Big Boss with this client is also for it, as long as the work gets done and the client stays happy.  We all work for the same client on this floor.  And THEY seem to have permanently gone to WFH.  They had about a dozen people who worked out of our offices pre-pandemic.  Only two of them have come back to this office on a hybrid schedule.  The client person I primarily work for has told me he would prefer a hybrid schedule also, but his company is still frowning on people being in the office at all, unless they have to be.

    I couldn't believe how much better my work-life balance was for the all too brief 7 weeks I was allowed to WFH.  (Please, please, please, puhleeezzzzzzzz really do this.) 
    It seems like more and  more reputable companies need to start doing this or they're going to lose employees to their competitors.  DH has witnessed this with his employer and their middle management has had the conversations to say that they really needed to get far more progressive with their practices or they're going to lose more people and it's going to be a huge issue for them.  
    I suspect that is some of what is prompting this.  It's an engineering firm and, right now, engineers are in short supply.

    Most of our competitors went to a 4 10's schedule choice years ago and I know we've lost people, even just for that.  But since the pandemic, most of our competitors now also have a hybrid or mostly WFH option.  I get the impression they've had trouble both attracting and retaining people because of this.

    I know I just saw a job posting on Glass Door the other day that looks like it's a NOLA company, but is 100% WFH.  There are a lot of qualifications and I more than meet them all, so I feel like I'd be a strong contender.  I'd have to massively brush up my resume and cover letter, lol.  But I've been really thinking about it.  Not only this job opportunity, but to start looking for anything else that is WFH.

    Now that I've heard this, though.  Maybe I don't want to leave.  If I knew for sure I could have a WFH or even hybrid schedule 6-9 months from now, I definitely wouldn't leave.  But that feels like too much of a gamble.

    Logically, I know I should at least look.  There's no harm in that, except for time.  But it's really hard for me.  For as much as I complain about it, this is a pretty sweet job in some important ways.  I'm very afraid of the "unknown", because I've had toxic jobs and coworkers.  "The devil you know" and all that.
    That's exactly what DH does and what his employer is losing to other government contractors. Yes, they are working on sensitive information but MANY local government contractors do the same and their armed forces contacts are often remote.  

    It hit hard in 2020 when the company had NOTHING in place to mitigate Covid and he told his boss that he was out for at least two weeks but if they gave him a laptop he'd work.    The company has an old man mentality and they do not get the guys who graduated with engineering degrees out of college do not consider it an asset to walk a half mile from a parking lot (or if the lot runs out of parking to have to park in an overflow lot and take an old school bus), that working in a cramped cube is antiquated, and they're micromanaged on their time.   
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    banana468 said:

    I suspect that is some of what is prompting this.  It's an engineering firm and, right now, engineers are in short supply.

    Most of our competitors went to a 4 10's schedule choice years ago and I know we've lost people, even just for that.  But since the pandemic, most of our competitors now also have a hybrid or mostly WFH option.  I get the impression they've had trouble both attracting and retaining people because of this.

    I know I just saw a job posting on Glass Door the other day that looks like it's a NOLA company, but is 100% WFH.  There are a lot of qualifications and I more than meet them all, so I feel like I'd be a strong contender.  I'd have to massively brush up my resume and cover letter, lol.  But I've been really thinking about it.  Not only this job opportunity, but to start looking for anything else that is WFH.

    Now that I've heard this, though.  Maybe I don't want to leave.  If I knew for sure I could have a WFH or even hybrid schedule 6-9 months from now, I definitely wouldn't leave.  But that feels like too much of a gamble.

    Logically, I know I should at least look.  There's no harm in that, except for time.  But it's really hard for me.  For as much as I complain about it, this is a pretty sweet job in some important ways.  I'm very afraid of the "unknown", because I've had toxic jobs and coworkers.  "The devil you know" and all that.
    That's exactly what DH does and what his employer is losing to other government contractors. Yes, they are working on sensitive information but MANY local government contractors do the same and their armed forces contacts are often remote.  

    It hit hard in 2020 when the company had NOTHING in place to mitigate Covid and he told his boss that he was out for at least two weeks but if they gave him a laptop he'd work.    The company has an old man mentality and they do not get the guys who graduated with engineering degrees out of college do not consider it an asset to walk a half mile from a parking lot (or if the lot runs out of parking to have to park in an overflow lot and take an old school bus), that working in a cramped cube is antiquated, and they're micromanaged on their time.   
    Yeeesss!  Same mentality here.  But the old guard is, indeed, old.  Past or getting near retirement age.  The "heir apparent" manager I overheard who also wants to make this change, is in his mid-late 30s.  So I remain hopeful, but the changes may not be soon enough for me, lol.
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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
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    @Casadena I've been thinking of y'all. So great that your sister can be with you. Hopefully the next month won't be as bad as predicted. Thanks for updating us. Keep popping in as your schedule allows. Hugs to all of you.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    @Casadena; I'm glad your sister was able to come and that you're able to take time off work. I hope it's going well and having your sister is healing.

    I had a good weekend. Saturday we ran our 5k and had a great time. I'm thinking I'll sign us up for another one or two this spring, especially if they're also at breweries. Other than that, I just did a bunch of chores and hung around outside. 

    Also, I just discovered chocolate hummus and now my Monday is going much better. 
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  • kvrunskvruns member
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    hugs and lots of love to you @Casadena I had to go backwards to see what was up. I'm so glad your sister is able to be there and help out for the month

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  • levioosalevioosa member
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    Hugs and love to you @Casadena. I’m glad you guys have some extra help and support this month. 


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