Wedding Woes

Are there avenues for Jean to obtain rental assistance?

Dear Prudence,

I own and rent out several duplexes in my home town. It is my primary source of income, though I do have a part time job for health insurance. I used to physically maintain all the properties myself but after a car wreck, I couldn’t. I cut a deal with distant cousin “Paul” that he and his elderly mother “Jean” could live in the unit next to mine with a severely reduced rent if Paul took on a handyman role (he worked construction). This worked for several years, until this January, when Paul died of a heart attack. He was only in his fifties. I loved Paul, and I was a pallbearer at his funeral. But I still have to maintain my business.

I told Jean that I would cover all the bills until her lease ran out in May, but I couldn’t afford to keep her in the unit on the reduced rate and hire a new handyman. The plan was for one of Jean’s daughters to move in to care for her, or she would move in with them. Only, it turns out Paul was the only decent one of the bunch. Daughter One refuses to help out unless her violent, drug addict son comes as well. Daughter Two can’t keep a job. Daughter Three told me privately that the “state” will take care of everything and flew off to California after the funeral. Jean is physically disabled but sharp as a tack. She doesn’t want to move out and will never find such a nice place for the pennies I ask. She keeps crying and suggesting untenable solutions, like she will take over the bookkeeping or find a roommate or three (her rent is very, very cheap). I don’t have a problem with bookkeeping, and Jean doesn’t like computers. All her potential “roommates” have come through her church and couldn’t pass a background check.

I love Jean. I don’t want to evict an elderly woman. Without Paul, I can’t afford not to. Jean inherited everything Paul had, but even his life insurance isn’t going to cover her living expenses for more than a few years in his market. She is only in her seventies. And our family often lives past a century. I don’t know what to do. My “options” as suggested by my family are: Jean moves in with me and uses her funds to hire a caretaker/housekeeper, and I rent out her old unit for full market value. Jean isn’t moving in with me. Period. I still don’t want her on the streets. Now or ever. Help.

— In a Hard Place

Re: Are there avenues for Jean to obtain rental assistance?

  • You love Jean but you can't afford her.  So start to reach out to groups to see what options there are for a person at her age and in her income.  You can help her without your assistance also making you go into the red financially and you can tell her that while her current living arrangement with you has to come to an end you will work WITH her to find a new one. 
  • I'm a ridiculously empathetic person, so I felt myself getting annoyed with LW as I read this.   I'm also very annoyed with Jean's remaining kids.  

    LW does read a little judgmental or annoyed. I get it in a sense since LW has been doing nice things for Jean with the reduced rent in exchange for Paul's work and Jean's remaining kids suck, but she did just lose a child suddenly 3 months ago.  

    Ugh, I think LW should helping Jean look into every dime of assistance she can get.  Also, that kind of paperwork takes time.  I'm not sure Jean will be ready by next month.  So I'd hope LW does provide some leeway.  

    What a shit sandwich for both LW and Jean. 
  • I’m real mad at Jeans kids here, but also our entire system for this being a systemic problem not an individual one. 

    There are resources, they’re not enough. But it’s also not on the LW to solve Jean’s housing issues. It’s tough because Jean is family. But see if you can meet with someone from social services to see what options are out there for Jean. 
  • I wouldn't be surprised if this is a fake letter.  So many things that don't make sense.

    Even if they've never participated, I find it hard to believe that someone who earns a living from several duplexes has never heard of Section 8.  There are rules that you can't rent out to family members, but I think that's immediate family.  But that should have been the first thing the LW helped Jean out with because, even if they couldn't rent to her in the duplex, they could have helped her find another place once Jean had a S8 voucher.

    They should also sign Jean up for food assistance, if she isn't already on it.  For assistance with her utilities, if she doesn't already have it.  Even better if Daughter #3 would make all those calls and do that research since "she knows" the state will take care of everything.

    I don't know what the market rate difference is but, even the food/utility help, could possibly make what Jean could pay be more money for the time being.

    Or, if Jean is physically disabled and is in her 70s, wouldn't she be eligible for assisted living?  I know Jean doesn't "want" to move.  But that's just too bad.  She doesn't have the means to stay in her current house.

    It also sounds like the LW is paying all of Jean's house bills?  Not just providing her with lowered rent?  I'm hoping I misunderstood that, because it would be even more outlandish, considering Jean has SOME money.  I assume she has Social Security and it was already mentioned she has a bit of life insurance.

    Also, what is this about "hiring a handyman"?  What does the LW mean by that?  Unless the LW has something like 30+ doors...and they don't...a handyperson is hired, "per job".  You generally don't hire even a part-time employee for only "several duplexes". 

    On average and not including major scheduled expenses (like a new roof, HVAC, etc.), repair costs are about 5% of gross rents.  Let's say the LW earns $100K in gross rent from their rentals.  That's less than $500/month for repairs.  That is an average.  Some months can be much worse.  But then there are also months where the repair cost is $0.  Or are their duplexes in such bad condition that's why they need a handyman all the time?  Then fix them up for real and stop using band-aids.  It can be a big expense up front, but saves so much money in the long run and is less aggravation.

    I'm not saying the LW is obligated to help Jean forever.  They absolutely aren't.  But the "can't afford a handyman" excuse isn't treading water with me.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I was wondering if you'd chime in @short+sassy.

    I agree that this letter isn't adding up for me, but IDK shit about being a landlord and owning rentals...so I didn't know how to articulate it. 
  • I wouldn't be surprised if this is a fake letter.  So many things that don't make sense.

    Even if they've never participated, I find it hard to believe that someone who earns a living from several duplexes has never heard of Section 8.  There are rules that you can't rent out to family members, but I think that's immediate family.  But that should have been the first thing the LW helped Jean out with because, even if they couldn't rent to her in the duplex, they could have helped her find another place once Jean had a S8 voucher.

    They should also sign Jean up for food assistance, if she isn't already on it.  For assistance with her utilities, if she doesn't already have it.  Even better if Daughter #3 would make all those calls and do that research since "she knows" the state will take care of everything.

    I don't know what the market rate difference is but, even the food/utility help, could possibly make what Jean could pay be more money for the time being.

    Or, if Jean is physically disabled and is in her 70s, wouldn't she be eligible for assisted living?  I know Jean doesn't "want" to move.  But that's just too bad.  She doesn't have the means to stay in her current house.

    It also sounds like the LW is paying all of Jean's house bills?  Not just providing her with lowered rent?  I'm hoping I misunderstood that, because it would be even more outlandish, considering Jean has SOME money.  I assume she has Social Security and it was already mentioned she has a bit of life insurance.

    Also, what is this about "hiring a handyman"?  What does the LW mean by that?  Unless the LW has something like 30+ doors...and they don't...a handyperson is hired, "per job".  You generally don't hire even a part-time employee for only "several duplexes". 

    On average and not including major scheduled expenses (like a new roof, HVAC, etc.), repair costs are about 5% of gross rents.  Let's say the LW earns $100K in gross rent from their rentals.  That's less than $500/month for repairs.  That is an average.  Some months can be much worse.  But then there are also months where the repair cost is $0.  Or are their duplexes in such bad condition that's why they need a handyman all the time?  Then fix them up for real and stop using band-aids.  It can be a big expense up front, but saves so much money in the long run and is less aggravation.

    I'm not saying the LW is obligated to help Jean forever.  They absolutely aren't.  But the "can't afford a handyman" excuse isn't treading water with me.
    I'm wondering if LW could calculate that the basic repairs already are costing them several hundred dollars / mo and that's how it was able to offset? 

    To the bolded, this is also my feeling when I talk to DH and I see locals complaining about tax increases in town and they gripe about wanting to freeze taxes for seniors who own homes.

    Sorrynotsorry - if the taxes going up slightly are what mean you can't afford to live in your house you need to sell your house.  That's obviously not the situation with this LW but it seems so frequent when I see people who are older griping about how the cost of everything is going up.  
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