Dear Prudence,
My friend “Laura” moved into a new house three years ago, and occasionally hosts get-togethers. Usually when people come, they bring food and/or beverages. Except, whenever her mom and stepdad “Carl” come (which is pretty much every time), not only do they not bring anything, but Carl mooches everything. I don’t just mean he just naturally eats more than other people, I mean he goes out of his way to take food/drink, purposely hoards it, and almost always takes stuff when he leaves. One time, one of the guests brought gourmet cookies from a local bakery. There were only six of them, but they were big, so the idea was that people could split them (they were also each a different kind). As soon as she put them down, Carl came over and immediately grabbed three. The woman got pretty upset, because they were expensive cookies! Another time, Laura put out a six-pack of a craft beer that she had brought home from a vacation, and Carl takes two. Most recently, Carl and Laura’s mom were actually getting ready to leave, when Carl overheard me tell someone that I was going to order pizza. He then stayed, and when the pizza came, he helped himself to four slices from one of the pies, which he put it silver foil and then left.
I know I’m not the only one that notices; even Laura herself is embarrassed by it, but she’s not a confrontational person, and won’t say anything. As far as I can tell, they aren’t food insecure—I’ve known Laura for more than 10 years, we are very close, and she has never mentioned anything about them having financial problems (and believe me, Laura is a sharer). I know they have good jobs, and I’ve been to their house a couple of times. Myself, and a couple of other people, have started just bringing less food (for instance, we’ll just bring some chips and dip, instead of hors d’oeuvres), though I do feel icky being a spoilsport. My question is, can I say something to Carl? Next time, I really want to make a comment, like, “Hey Carl, why don’t you leave some for the rest of us!” I don’t want to cause issues for Laura, but this is just so annoying!
— Get Your Own, Carl