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Aging on the dating apps

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

I am a 46-year-old woman with a good career, living in a big city. No kids, never married. I am conventionally attractive, fit, and I’m often told I look young for my age. In my 30s, I had no problem garnering attention on dating apps. Now, however, it’s a very different story. It’s a struggle to get any traction, even when I reach out first. I have asked friends to review my profile and no one sees any glaring issues. I am guessing that I am now falling outside many guys’ search parameters, age-wise. I’ve been considering changing my age on Hinge (the app lets you do it once) to shave off a few years, but that seems deceptive, and could come back to bite me once I eventually get to know someone and reveal my true age. Thoughts?

— Coming Un-Hinged

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Re: Aging on the dating apps

  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited June 2022
    That is deceptive.  You could wait 4 more years and go on “my time” which is directed to 50+?  Then you’re suddenly the youngest.  But I feel like LW is just on the wrong apps because you should be able to find love at any age. 
    Edit; maybe it’s “our time”?  I dunno, but there’s that AND many others directed to older people.

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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    I agree with it being deceptive.  I also wonder about LW's settings and what they're looking for on these apps.  Furthermore if they are asking friends to review their dating profile, what about asking said friends for any IRL leads?  Meeting people through other people could still be a thing.  

    I'm glad I'm an old married hag when I read these types of letters.  I truly don't envy y'all in the dating world.  All the love for you.  ;) 
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    mrsconn23 said:

    I'm glad I'm an old married hag when I read these types of letters.  I truly don't envy y'all in the dating world.  All the love for you.  ;) 
    As you shouldn’t.  It’s a jungle out there.

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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    Do all the apps require an age? I wouldn't lie, but I don't see why you have to reveal your age right away. If you met someone at a bar or whatever you probably wouldn't find out their age in your first interaction. 
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited June 2022
    MyNameIsNot said:
    Do all the apps require an age? I wouldn't lie, but I don't see why you have to reveal your age right away. If you met someone at a bar or whatever you probably wouldn't find out their age in your first interaction. 
    All the ones I signed up for had that as a requirement.  Most of them calculate it when you put in your birthdate at the sign up. Some things are hard coded (can’t hide) and some things are optional.  I can’t remember what app, maybe it was hinge, that left out an important one for me.  I think it’s martial status or # of kids or something?it’s something I look for because you’d be surprised at the married people on these things (some are polygamous and that’s fine if they say that outright). 

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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
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    MyNameIsNot said:
    Do all the apps require an age? I wouldn't lie, but I don't see why you have to reveal your age right away. If you met someone at a bar or whatever you probably wouldn't find out their age in your first interaction. 
    Yea and thank goodness. It’s hard enough weeding people out without having ones included in my set who are no where near my date range. 
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    My friend had a great deal breaker, in regards to age, on dating apps.  If the guy sets the age range he's looking for as younger than himself, that's an automatic "hell no".

    The LW shouldn't lie about their age.  At least for me, that's a detail that if it is lied about, is a deal breaker.  Even if I normally would have been okay with that person's age.

    Either most of the people on the dating app have too much of an age difference or she's running into the kind of AH guys my friend purposely tried to avoid.  If she lies, she's misleading the first group.  And she shouldn't want the second group at all.
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