Dear Prudence,
I am getting married toward the end of October. I have been engaged for over a year, and the wedding date has been set for nearly that much time as well. All within the span of the last 4 months, my grandmother has gotten engaged and planned her wedding for less than a month after mine. My mother is in shambles about it because although she asked my grandmother not to upstage me and get married before me (because this is my first wedding), she thought my grandmother, her mom, would have the decency to wait a little longer before getting married, especially since no one is thrilled with my grandmother and her finance's relationship (she's changed a lot and seems to be ignoring the needs of her family). They met face to face for the first time last November, which is also why my mother is so up in arms. When my mom spoke to the fiance about getting engaged, he agreed to not get married before me, but bargained with the fact that he would propose whenever he wanted.
My feelings are also hurt because I don't understand why she feels the need to get married so quickly (well, yes I do. They are super religious and abstinent currently). To top it off, she asked my mom to be the maid of honor in her wedding, so now I feel like we're all being pulled in several directions. My mom hasn't completely expressed how she feels to her mom, but she called me in tears the other day about how she thinks my "wedding season" is being stolen from me.
My mom thinks I should get my grandmother alone to let her know how I really feel about my feeling being hurt, but she's already set a date, booked a venue, and sent out a few Facebook invites to the wedding; it is not likely that she will change anything. Is it worth it to even say anything, or should I just suffer in silence? Is this even a big deal?
- First girl in the fam to get married