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Hump Day

ei34ei34 member
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in Wedding Woes
Crawling towards Friday.  My week feels longer because it's just one of those weeks where I have things every evening.  Pandemic perk #1 was without argument not having to put on work clothes every day.  PP#2 (for me) was back to school/meet the teacher nights being remote  B) it's just a busy time of year for parents/teachers/people who are both...there's a certain peace that comes with being able to veg on the couch at 8pm.  Oh well...that's what Saturday will be for. /end rant

How's everyone today?
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Re: Hump Day

  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    Good morning!  Mostly SSDD around here. 

    DefConn's homework is kicking all of our asses this week.  It's almost the end of the quarter, so some of it is making sure everything is caught up/turned in and the rest is just projects that take time.  

    Other than that, looking forward to finishing our foyer this coming weekend.  Finally!  I also need to get DefConn some fall/winter stuff.  I've waited as long as I can since he's growing like a weed.  I'm probably going to have to make him try stuff on, which will be like pulling teeth  Fun times.  LOL 

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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    @ei34 kindergarten perk - meet the teacher happens before school starts lmao! But yeh, my coworker had that with one of her kids and it was chaotic since the school actually didn't give proper info about it :\ 

    @missJeanLouise nap trapped! :( 

    @mrsconn23 how do they do homework there? I've heard some kids get a folder that's basically "finish to x spot by x time" 
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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    We got the muddy puddle photos and good lord .... I'm surprised those socks ever got some semblance of white lmao! I didn't use bleach either.
    I did heavily rinse them in the sink to get majority of dirt/mud/water out and then back in the wash.
    I think in spring, if this is a continued situation I'll get more dark socks but also find a better way that isn't soaking in some stain solution. I know BK's skin couldn't handle that.

    Anyone got stain solutions that are sensitive skin safe?
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    That's a lot @charlotte989875.  I can understand why you don't need this 'one more thing' at the moment.  

    @MissKittyDanger, he's in middle school now.  He's got daily stuff and then projects that are due by a certain date.  He missed to 2 days last week, which put him behind because we didn't have our ass in gear early enough to keep up.  DH and I talked last night about how we need to be more on top of things and be up on reminding him.  We're all adjusting and once we incorporate this stuff into our routine, it will literally be something that takes up 10-30 min of our day.  I had to remind DH that we've had a lot happen in the last 2+ months and that it's no one's fault that things fell through the cracks, we just now know better to do better. 
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  • MNNEBrideMNNEBride member
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    @charlotte989875 - I'm sorry you're struggling!  It's so hard when life makes things so much more difficult.  Glad you MIL can step in to help, but it's still tough.

    @ei34 - PP#1 continues for me as I'm wfh since the pandemic but now am going to a work conference in October.  That means 5 full days of work clothes and I'm stressing about what to pack in just a carryon.  The conference is in Vegas at Planet Hollywood during John Legend's final residency concerts.  I was hoping to get tickets.  Now I get in too late on Sat to catch one.  Stupid airlines cancelling flights.  FWP, I know.

    I really like my job but there's just so much of it right now!  Hoping things settle a bit after next week.

    Saturday I upgraded to an iPhone 13 as my 6s was dying.  Have to say it's been a pretty seamless transition.  Yay for the iCloud.


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  • levioosalevioosa member
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    Today is my first day of a schedule switch. I hope it goes okay. Yesterday one of my Fear Factor fears came true in clinic and I’m still recovering from it. I had to leave the room to compose myself for a moment and all I could think was “why did I choose this career?” Lol. 

    Otherwise I’m trying to get motivated for a quick workout at home and then I have an appointment for the face that hopefully makeup will cover before work. 

    *hugs* @charlotte989875

    good luck with your trainer meeting! @missJeanLouise

    work clothes are the worst. I had to go buy a bunch before I started my new job. I quickly noped out of them and returned to scrubs. Once a week I make myself wear professional clothes to keep track of any weight gain though because the scrubs are way too forgiving. 


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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    @mrsconn23 beginning of the year is such a crap shoot honestly.
    I know some kids are getting a folder - my coworker's kids had them before but doesn't seem like now? - and they'll say to do up to page X by friday.
    I personally like that idea because if someone is sick or has afterschool activities, you're not panicking about stuff.

    In grade 6 I got super behind - hated homework and lied to my parents. Eventually my teacher called my parents in and we went through everything. I was up super late for so long. Like homework until bedtime then I was up and doing homework again - it was so bad!
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    MissKittyDanger said:
    @mrsconn23 beginning of the year is such a crap shoot honestly.
    I know some kids are getting a folder - my coworker's kids had them before but doesn't seem like now? - and they'll say to do up to page X by friday.
    I personally like that idea because if someone is sick or has afterschool activities, you're not panicking about stuff.

    In grade 6 I got super behind - hated homework and lied to my parents. Eventually my teacher called my parents in and we went through everything. I was up super late for so long. Like homework until bedtime then I was up and doing homework again - it was so bad!
    My middle schooler gets work electronically assigned in web-based programs like Infinite Campus or Google Classroom.  Gone are the days where there's a folder that they take home.  Each subject has a list of assignments by due date.  Chiquita was flat out not getting it done.  Love her but this is a major repeated pattern of behavior. 
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    banana468 said:
    MissKittyDanger said:
    @mrsconn23 beginning of the year is such a crap shoot honestly.
    I know some kids are getting a folder - my coworker's kids had them before but doesn't seem like now? - and they'll say to do up to page X by friday.
    I personally like that idea because if someone is sick or has afterschool activities, you're not panicking about stuff.

    In grade 6 I got super behind - hated homework and lied to my parents. Eventually my teacher called my parents in and we went through everything. I was up super late for so long. Like homework until bedtime then I was up and doing homework again - it was so bad!
    My middle schooler gets work electronically assigned in web-based programs like Infinite Campus or Google Classroom.  Gone are the days where there's a folder that they take home.  Each subject has a list of assignments by due date.  Chiquita was flat out not getting it done.  Love her but this is a major repeated pattern of behavior. 
    We are not that tech-savvy.  We do have a website that they use to house all assignment information, answer keys, plus videos on lessons/activities.  I also have a grading app where I can see what he's turned in, is missing, and his scores. However, we still have a physical 'homework' folder and papers come home all the time (I mean, I truly think of the trees with the amount of paper we still get in this day and age).  

    I had a meeting earlier this week for his IEP and also, his tech teacher called me yesterday.  It's nothing I'm super concerned about yet, but we need to be on it.  We have to work with him and read a lot aloud to him due to his dyslexia (he gets that accommodation in school as well). 
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  • CasadenaCasadena member
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    At what age do you all think it's appropriate to back off of homework nagging and just let kids handle it?  I'm not looking forward to that part of parenting when kiddos start getting homework.  Just curious what everyone thinks. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    Casadena said:
    At what age do you all think it's appropriate to back off of homework nagging and just let kids handle it?  I'm not looking forward to that part of parenting when kiddos start getting homework.  Just curious what everyone thinks. 
    I honestly don't have that answer.  By the time Chiquita's in HS I want to say I won't do it but the reality is that I'll still look and will expect her to get it done and will absolutely take things away like activities or car keys if she doesn't get her ish together.   I don't want to helicopter but as she gets older and her activities cost more I'm also less likely to tell her that I'll finance the fun while she ignores the duties. 


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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    Casadena said:
    At what age do you all think it's appropriate to back off of homework nagging and just let kids handle it?  I'm not looking forward to that part of parenting when kiddos start getting homework.  Just curious what everyone thinks. 
    I didn't have homework until I was in 3rd grade.  I feel like I didn't need to be nagged in elementary school.  I remember liking homework at that age, but it's very possible my mom would tell a different story.  I've always been a procrastinator and suspect I wasn't as diligent as I am remembering.

    I definitely needed to be nagged in jr. high.  My parents also nagged me in high school, but I think at least by my jr./sr. year it had tapered off because I was at least a little more diligent.  I still procrastinated, but became wise enough to realize that I needed to learn how to motivate myself because nobody was going to bug me when I was in college.

    This was me at 16-17, "Whelp, time to write that history paper.  I've had two weeks to do it.  It's Monday, due on Wednesday.  Better spend a few hours tonight and tomorrow night, to make sure it gets done."  So I did get it done on my own by that age.  It just wasn't a pretty process.

    And this was in the OLD pre-Internet days, so it was more difficult.  To the young, whipper-snappers out there, I had to do my research at the library.  Libraries are these buildings that have books...no, no, not Kindle books...books that are made of this thing called paper.  We also had a full set of encyclopedias at my house.  The paper kind, lol.
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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    Casadena said:
    At what age do you all think it's appropriate to back off of homework nagging and just let kids handle it?  I'm not looking forward to that part of parenting when kiddos start getting homework.  Just curious what everyone thinks. 
    I say depends on kid.

    I was not the kid my parents could back off of.

    My boss' daughter was still on her in beginning of college.
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    banana468 said:
    Casadena said:
    At what age do you all think it's appropriate to back off of homework nagging and just let kids handle it?  I'm not looking forward to that part of parenting when kiddos start getting homework.  Just curious what everyone thinks. 
    I honestly don't have that answer.  By the time Chiquita's in HS I want to say I won't do it but the reality is that I'll still look and will expect her to get it done and will absolutely take things away like activities or car keys if she doesn't get her ish together.   I don't want to helicopter but as she gets older and her activities cost more I'm also less likely to tell her that I'll finance the fun while she ignores the duties. 


    We cared about DefConn's progress in elementary, but it also felt like the stakes were extra low.  We did his homework with him and looked at his grades or whatever.  But we didn't feel the 'pressure' that middle school seems to have. 

    Now that he's in middle school, the expectations have leveled up a lot.  Teachers will call you.  If he doesn't turn in homework, he could end up with detention, which then impacts DH and me. Grades are weighted toward tests/quizzes, so he has to be doing and turning in the work so he can do well.  All communication has come from a place of wanting him to develop good habits.  Also, I feel like this is a conversation they have with a lot of parents at the start of middle school.  

    I feel like if I was still WAH full time, we would have started on a better foot.  But it is what it is.  The ship can be righted quickly.  I'm hoping by next school year we can monitor the grading app and work with him when he needs help, but that he's a little more self-propelled.  But we'll see.  If not, we'll continue to prod him along.  
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    mrsconn23 said:
    banana468 said:
    Casadena said:
    At what age do you all think it's appropriate to back off of homework nagging and just let kids handle it?  I'm not looking forward to that part of parenting when kiddos start getting homework.  Just curious what everyone thinks. 
    I honestly don't have that answer.  By the time Chiquita's in HS I want to say I won't do it but the reality is that I'll still look and will expect her to get it done and will absolutely take things away like activities or car keys if she doesn't get her ish together.   I don't want to helicopter but as she gets older and her activities cost more I'm also less likely to tell her that I'll finance the fun while she ignores the duties. 


    We cared about DefConn's progress in elementary, but it also felt like the stakes were extra low.  We did his homework with him and looked at his grades or whatever.  But we didn't feel the 'pressure' that middle school seems to have. 

    Now that he's in middle school, the expectations have leveled up a lot.  Teachers will call you.  If he doesn't turn in homework, he could end up with detention, which then impacts DH and me. Grades are weighted toward tests/quizzes, so he has to be doing and turning in the work so he can do well.  All communication has come from a place of wanting him to develop good habits.  Also, I feel like this is a conversation they have with a lot of parents at the start of middle school.  

    I feel like if I was still WAH full time, we would have started on a better foot.  But it is what it is.  The ship can be righted quickly.  I'm hoping by next school year we can monitor the grading app and work with him when he needs help, but that he's a little more self-propelled.  But we'll see.  If not, we'll continue to prod him along.  
    Yeah - Chiquita's in 7th so for her I need to push her but also tell her that I don't want to - KWIM?  

    She needs that tough love but I also know that right now she has so little free time we need to nudge just so she does it.  I swear I have anxiety now about her work level in addition to my own. 
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  • levioosalevioosa member
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    Casadena said:
    At what age do you all think it's appropriate to back off of homework nagging and just let kids handle it?  I'm not looking forward to that part of parenting when kiddos start getting homework.  Just curious what everyone thinks. 
    Grain of salt, because I don’t have children. 

    I honestly think it’s very kid specific. Nagging did not work on me. It simultaneously paralyzed me and made me rebellious. Add to it I thrive on last minute deadlines that make me panic and work fast (*cough* probably undiagnosed ADHD *cough*) and nagging would just not have worked. Meanwhile my cousin was nagged endlessly by my aunt. She for sure helicoptered but tbh I think if she hadn’t he might have fallen down the same path as my brother. She nagged him all the way through college. However, now my cousin is a successful and put together lawyer, so I’d say the nagging worked. 


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  • missJeanLouisemissJeanLouise member
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    edited September 2022
    My parents did not nag. I was basically left to figure it out on my own, which I did eventually but did not excel. There's no way to know if nagging would have worked, I might have reacted similarly to @levioosa I think the middle ground is if you are a parent who pays attention to your kid's grades and homework you are already doing more than those that aren't 
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  • CasadenaCasadena member
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    Interesting hearing everyone perspectives for sure.  I know I was a lot like levioosa (right down to the probable undiagnosed ADHD) and thankfully my mom (a teacher) recognized pretty early on that nagging didn' work on me and didn't really bug me about schoolwork at all after maybe 8-9 years old?  It made both of us more stressed when she did.  That said I always made good grades and figured it out on my own.  There were a few times I definitely didn't and there were talks about that and asking for help, and accepting the detentions or whatever because I earned them.  

    My MIL was totally the opposite of that and still nags her kids (and kids-in-law) about literally everything.  I always assumed i'd take a more "my mom" approach - but obviously all kids are differetn and need different things.  It will certainly be interesting to figure out!
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  • ei34ei34 member
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    I'd love for my kids to just get their hw done without me overseeing by middle school.  I don't know if they'll be there though.  I just did it on my own by middle school but two of my siblings had to be prompted through high school, everyone is different.

    From the high school educator end of things-parent involvement runs the gamut.  Not every time, but often, the more parents are involved, the more prepared the students are.  
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    Yeah - I think Chiquita is definitely getting better at getting things done but when she's absent minded she needs the prod.

    I'm also going to say that this is the first time in two years that she's both in middle school and off to a "normal" start.  

    What I have also done is put teeth into her assignments.  She is so excited about some extracurriculars and I've told her I won't hesitate to pull her if the teachers continue to report that she's not getting it done. 


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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    ei34 said:
    I'd love for my kids to just get their hw done without me overseeing by middle school.  I don't know if they'll be there though.  I just did it on my own by middle school but two of my siblings had to be prompted through high school, everyone is different.

    From the high school educator end of things-parent involvement runs the gamut.  Not every time, but often, the more parents are involved, the more prepared the students are.  
    I want to give my parents some accolades here.  I didn't need that much help in school, but I always knew I could count on them to help me, if I needed it.  Overall, they were pretty involved in other ways with our schooling and schools also.

    This is one of my earliest memories and it's a cherished one.

    I was in kindegarten and learning how to write letters.  For a few weeks, my dad helped me almost every day after work/school.  But the hardest letter for me to write was "J".  I mastered all the other ones and still couldn't consistently write "J", correctly.

    This was very upsetting for me because I knew it was the first letter of my name.  My 5-year-old self finally had a heart-to-heart conversation with my dad about my greatest fear:

    Me:  "Daddy, what if I can never write a J?  It's the first letter of my name!  I can't even write my own name."

    Dad:  "You'll be able to write a J.  It's a hard letter, but you will be able to with more practice.

    Me:  "But what if I can't? I know I'll need to write my name a lot when I get older, but what if I can never write my name?  What will I do?"  Said with all the drama and anguish that only young children can truly master.

    He kept reassuring me that I would be able to learn how to write "J" and write my name, but when I was still super worried asked me if I could give it a month.  And, if I was still having trouble, we would talk more about it.  I agreed to that.

    Of course, by the time another week or so had gone by, I could write the letter "J" just fine, lol.  It's funny to remember this conversation as an adult.  Because I can still remember the child's feelings I had, but can now also see it from an adult's perspective.

    I can only assume that, in his mind, my dad was a bit amused.  But he maintained the same "serious" tone and expression that I had.
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