Dear Prudence,
My mom and I recently completed a cruise to Alaska, which we loved. We had a great time doing excursions at every port, participating in daily ship activities and really enjoyed the specialty restaurants and main dining room experiences. Mom is married and for our Alaskan cruise, her husband, Bob, stayed at home. She told him this was a mother-daughter trip and (in a politer way than this) that he wasn’t invited.
Bob is in his eighties and not in good health and has very limited mobility. His son came down and stayed with him while we were away, and they had a good time together. Mom has cruised with Bob once before and didn’t like it because he doesn’t get off the ship at ports and only leaves the cabin to eat at the buffet—the place on a cruise ship Mom hates the most.
Since Mom and I enjoyed our cruise so much, we booked a Mediterranean cruise for summer 2024. Mom very much wants her and I to share a cabin, and she’s invited my brother, his wife, and their children to come as well, in their own cabin. She invited Bob, too, but only out of politeness, and she strongly believes that Bob will not be healthy enough to handle the cruise. However, when Bob learned about the cruise, he was very excited. He really wants to go.
And I’m happy to have him along. But I don’t want to share a cabin with Bob because he snores extremely loudly, has the TV on all day and night, and generally just makes a lot of noise.
I brought up the possibility of booking my own cabin so that Mom and Bob can have a cabin to themselves. But she insists that Bob will not be healthy enough to fly to Europe, get on a cruise ship for 10 days, and explore Greek islands and ancient ruins in the summer heat with his mobility issues, so there’s no need for me to book another room. And she’s right; I can’t imagine Bob actually enjoying this trip, and it’s all too much money to spend to just sit in your cabin all day. But, Bob wants me to stay with them to split the cost of the cabin 3 ways (Mom and I are fine splitting it 2 or 3 ways, but Bob is very cost-conscious), and if I pull out of that arrangement, he won’t come, which would negate me needing my own cabin