Destination Wedding Accomodations - Is this tacky?

Re: Destination Wedding Accomodations - Is this tacky?

• ILoveBeachMusic member

  

  September 2023

  I think it would be a major headache for you trying to figure all the logistical stuff out - who has paid and who hasn't, where people would stay. It also could look like you are trying to get your guests to pay for the venue. I would leave it alone and just do what you originally planned. Is there a way that guests could choose to rent the other houses on their own without using you as a middle person? If there is, I would just put that out there like you would a block of hotel rooms. That way if guests choose to stay there fine, if not fine too.

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  September 2023

  knottie2695a43c7f60492f said:

  Hi all! My fiance and I are planning on getting married in France in 2025. We've found a venue that will house a maximum of 92 guests on the estate of a gorgeous castle for a week. We've been really concerned about our guests having to worry about finding a hotel and then the transportation between the hotel and the venue. The estate has numerous houses on the grounds. We initially were only going to book the main house for the wedding and accommodations for our bridal party and family. However, now we're considering paying the amount we originally intended for the main house, and then asking guests to pay the difference between the two if they are interested in staying in one of the additional houses on site. The difference is about $9500 and it would be divded amongst 75 guests (this is low estimate of how many people would be attending ) meaning that each person would pay maximum $127 for the entire week. Is this tacky?
  
  We're more than happy to just pay for just the main house if it is, but we also want to make this trip as easy as possible for our guests! TIA

  As you've structured it, yeah, it will come off tacky. Guests don't know (and don't need to know) how the venue is priced. When you ask for money, it seems like you're asking them to contribute to the cost of the event or making money off them, even if that's not really what you're doing. It also sets up a logistical nightmare. What would you do if less than 75 guests came? What if 10 people back out at the last minute and don't want to pay? What if a bunch of people only want to spend 1 night there and go elsewhere the rest of the time? What if people tell you they'll pay you as soon as they get home and never do? What if Aunt Edna says she'll pay for her adult children and then backs out? What if your college friend's boyfriend floods the bathtub and causes expensive damage? What if cousin Sue finds roaches in her room and decides to relocate to the hotel 10 miles away? You never want to be in a position where you're a bill collector to your friends and family. 
  
  Talk to your venue and see if there's an option to structure it so that guests book and pay directly to them. 

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• MesmrEwe member

  

  September 2023

  FWIW - perceptual headache is what comes to mind on this.  Only book out the entire location if you can afford the entire location on your dime with your WP, VIPs, and guests not paying a penny back to you.  Asking your 75 guests to pay for their lodging at a location of their choosing for a DW is NBD, asking your guests to reimburse you for a place to stay on-site that likely isn't all-inclusive at a high per-person rate probably won't end well.  It is best that your guests book directly through the venue themselves instead...

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• maine7mob member

  

  September 2023

  These "book an entire resort/hotel then ask your guests to repay you" ventures seldom work out. It would be better for you to simply provide info on nearby hotels/inns and let your guests make their own reservations. People should be able to choose their own accommodation at their preferred price point. Many of them may want to stay on the grounds of the castle, but let them make their own reservations. It will be a lot less stressful and awkward for everyone.

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• knottie3f6513d98306a1a6 newb

  

  October 2023

  It's wonderful that you're considering the comfort and convenience of your wedding guests. The idea of offering accommodations at the venue's additional houses is considerate, but the way you handle it can determine whether it comes across as tacky or not. Here are some considerations:

  1. Communication is Key: The most important factor in avoiding any perception of tackiness is clear and considerate communication. Make sure you communicate your plans clearly to your guests so they understand the options available to them.

  2. Optional Accommodations: Present the additional accommodations as optional, not mandatory. Let your guests know that while you've secured the main house for your bridal party and family, there are other accommodations available on the estate for those who may be interested.

  3. Pricing Transparency: Be transparent about the cost involved. Let guests know the total price for the additional accommodations and the per-person share. Provide this information in advance so guests can make an informed decision.

  4. Offer Alternatives: Recognize that not all guests may want to stay on-site, so offer alternative accommodation suggestions in the nearby area for those who prefer other options.

  5. No Pressure: Ensure that there's no pressure or expectation for guests to choose the on-site accommodations. Make it clear that you understand and respect their choices.

  6. Consider Subsidizing: If your budget allows, you might consider subsidizing some or all of the cost for guests. This can make it more affordable and less burdensome for them.

  7. Include Additional Perks: To sweeten the deal, consider including extra perks for guests who choose the on-site accommodations, such as exclusive access to certain areas or special activities during their stay.

  8. RSVP Options: When sending out invitations, provide RSVP options that allow guests to indicate whether they are interested in on-site accommodations. This way, you can gauge interest in advance.

  9. Thankfulness: Express your gratitude to your guests for considering staying on-site. Let them know how much you appreciate their presence at your wedding.

  Remember that every wedding is unique, and what matters most is your sincere intent to make your guests' experience as enjoyable and stress-free as possible. As long as you approach this with consideration and clear communication, it's unlikely to be perceived as tacky, but rather as a thoughtful gesture to enhance their experience.

  
  

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