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Wedding Woes

Go back home and see if it really works out then.

Dear Prudence,

A few weeks ago, I came to LA for work. It was a long work trip and during my time here, I met a celebrity. We definitely hit it off and he has expressed interest in me. We talked about what it would be like to date, which would be secret in the beginning. That is fine with me and I feel like I have a decent grasp of what it’s going to be like to date him. I’m fine with the secrecy because I prefer that in my personal life, but I feel really paralyzed by all the decisions in front of me.

If I do date him, even in secret, and the word gets out, there’s nothing I can do to change that. Even if the relationship doesn’t work out, I will forever be the person who dated the celebrity and if anybody Googles my name, that will probably be the first several pages that come up. If the relationship does last, I can expect very little privacy in public for however long we have a public relationship. That could be a problem for my career, as I do need some privacy for my job and I do know of some people who decided to quit their job at our LA office because of this. I worked my butt off for this career and I love what I do, but my career is not turning out like I thought and I’m not sure it ever will. On top of all that, I would need to move to LA, which would be easy as my company has an office there, but I know very few people and would be uprooting my life for who knows what. My time in LA ends in about two weeks and I’m feeling really anxious about trying to make these decisions in such a short time. Do you have any advice on how to sort through all of these issues and come to a final decision?

—Indecisive Dater

Re: Go back home and see if it really works out then.

  • I really need to know what kind of celebrity this person is. 


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  • I was thinking this too.  How famous is famous here?

  • I'm thinking the celebrity knows that you aren't a long term thing.


  • banana468 said:
    I'm thinking the celebrity knows that you aren't a long term thing.


    Guess who's going to be ghosting you when you leave LA.
  • banana468 said:
    I'm thinking the celebrity knows that you aren't a long term thing.


    Guess who's going to be ghosting you when you leave LA.
    Am I the only one that cynical to think "This was NEVER GOING TO BE LONG TERM!" 
  • So your vacation boyfriend just happens to be famous?  He's still a vacation boyfriend. 

    For real though, if this guy is really into LW, he'll understand that LW can't drop their life and move to LA tomorrow.  If it's meant to be, they will find a way. 

  • If it wouldn't affect the LW's job at all, I'd say go for it.  But this sounds like a lot of work...including moving, seriously?...and fall-out for a "maybe".

    I also suspect they are being melodramatic.  Even if it's brief, I can't imagine Googling anyone and seeing a few articles linking them romantically to an A-list celebrity (if applicable) as having much or any negative effect on someone's career.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • All of this is a no.  You haven't even gone on a date with this person yet.  Also, unless famous is dating famous, no one cares.  you might show up in a "celebrities who don't date someone famous" article, but that's it.

    This sounds exhausting and melodramatic.
  • You're getting a little ahead of yourself here. Go on a couple of dates with him while you're still in LA, then see what happens when you get home. You may find that it's serious and you both want something long-term - that's when you can start making decisions about your career and home. But don't start rewriting the story of your life now when you may go on two dates with this guy and find out there's not as much there as you thought. 

    Also, I agree with @VarunaTT that dating him probably wouldn't bring you as much attention as you think. From what I've seen, the personal lives of celebrities who date and marry "regular people" are subjected to about 95% less scrutiny than those whose partners are also famous.
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