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She's not respecting your recovery or boundaries.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

My girlfriend of half a decade is extremely worked up because I cannot exercise with her for the near future due to a debilitating injury. She badgers me every time we talk to exercise—even cried once—despite my explaining my condition extensively and how her persistence made me sad. While it’s important to take care of myself, I want her to be kinder to me during medical issues. How should I resolve this situation?

—I Have a Doctor’s Note

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Re: She's not respecting your recovery or boundaries.

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    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    The GFs reaction here seems pretty extreme making me wonder if there’s more to it. Did the doctor say zero exercise and she’s not respecting that? Yah she’s out of line. Did the doctor say to start working out to regain mobility and LW is more interesting in relaxing than recovering? Maybe she’s not so out of line. 

    I feel like I need way more information. But bottom line- LWs health is their own and GF should try and stay out of it. 
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    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    She cried?  That's outrageous.

    There's an issue here that it sounds like she needs to address.  Lay out the boundary.  "I've told you what I can do, this is what my doctor has said and I will be following the doctor's advice.  If you don't stop pushing me, I will be doing X."  Then do X, whatever you decide it is. 

    At the very least, I'd end any conversation immediately.  Hell, I'd probably break up with her, I truly can't imagine someone that is supposed to love you pushing you to go against a doctor's advice (assuming this is all legit).
    �
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    short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    What bizarre behavior.  I'm at a loss as to what her problem is.

    I agree he should just start ending these conversations immediately.  Tell her he is not going to keep having the same argument with her.  He also might want to rethink this relationship.  Especially if she has a habit of being overly controlling and unreasonable.
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    What's confusing to me is that LW is presenting this as a temporary issue and something they will recover from.  Why the hell is GF badgering them every time they talk, up to crying, because LW has to recover from an injury?  I'd literally lose my mind if someone didn't want to talk about anything but their feelings about my health issue and how it affects them.   Wouldn't she want LW to recover as fast as possible so they can get back to working out together? 

    This is unhinged behavior and clearly, there is something else going on with her.  Since this letter is so short, there's no clue if she has other redeeming qualities.  They have been together for 5 years, so I'd be open to trying therapy if this was the first time she exhibited this kind of behavior, but if this is a pattern...GTFO LW.  
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