Dear Prudence,
My husband’s career has been going wonderfully for the past four years, and we have become financially independent, to the point where we could be a single-income family and have plenty of money to spare. We own our home, take vacations, and he essentially makes a lot more money than I do. Most of the wives of my husband’s colleagues are stay-at-home moms, and by seeing how they live, I’ve become convinced I also want to be a stay-at-home wife and not have to work. However, my husband insists that it’s okay for those wives to stay at home because they have children but that it wouldn’t be fair if I stayed at home. The money I contribute to the family is laughably minuscule, and I’m not in a job that will allow me to get any raises or promotions. I don’t like my job, but I worked when his career was beginning and we needed the money; now that we are well off, I want to spend my time at home relaxing and nurturing my hobbies. I see the other wives of his associates spending their days redecorating their homes, going to the spa, or taking painting lessons. Plus, his mother never worked even long after her only son grew up, so I don’t see the problem with simply being a wife. I’ve become depressed and resentful. How can I explain to him that I want the traditional role of homemaker?
—Desperate to Be a Homemaker