Dear Prudence,
My wife of 20 years has just told me that our romantic relationship is over, but she will consider exploring a different arrangement that will allow us to stay together and raise our three children. I’m blindsided and heartbroken, but I also know that I don’t want an arrangement: I want us to be married in every sense or I want a divorce. She says she understands, but we shouldn’t rush into any quick decisions. I honestly don’t know where this leaves us. Am I supposed to have dinner every night with someone who doesn’t love me anymore? Are we supposed to do things as a family as if nothing has changed? I can barely bring myself to be in the same room as her. Am I ridiculous for wanting to go ahead and end things if that’s where we’re headed anyway?
—Broken in Brooklyn