Dear Prudence,
I’ve volunteered with a lovely organization for many years now. I applied to one of their rare job openings. The organization has a great mission, it was the most easily accessible way for me to pivot into a new career, and it came at the perfect time for me to leave my boring current job. I was a qualified candidate and worked very hard on my application; I reached the final round of interviews, but they hired someone else.
I need advice on how to healthily work through these feelings of jealousy and inadequacy. I still love this organization and know I could keep developing some important skills as a volunteer. But I think it’ll feel very unpleasant to watch the candidate they chose working on exciting projects while I trudge through my own full-time job to spend a few precious hours volunteering each week (it’s a small organization so I will have to collaborate with them).
I also feel scared, because if I could put so much effort into an organization and an application but still get rejected, I don’t have much hope for getting anything more competitive. My self-confidence was low before and now it’s even lower. I feel overwhelmed by all the flashy skills I could be working on right now and feel like someone will always be more capable anyway. I know I’m far from the first person to deal with this. How do I move forward?
—No One Likes Rejection