Thursday

Casadena · April 2024

Getting the chat started for Friday Eve - hopefully prudie today!

Casadena · April 2024

Interviews yesterday went fine - definitely not badly, but don't know that i knocked anyones socks off. Also they were much more casual since I'm internal, so it's hard to tell what people are thinking. My last one is this morning with my former supervisor of 5 years - so hopefully should be pretty good - we left those roles on great terms.

G has been begging lately to go to a restaurant across the street from their school that a bunch of his buddies' families frequent so we walked to pick them up last night and went out to dinner. It was really fun! Just a fast casual greek place, but food was great.

Have a chiropractic appointment over lunch and then leaving for IA. I also have a call with a recruiter this afternoon for an outside position that sounds really interesting. So hopefully a new job is on the horizon regardless?

ILoveBeachMusic · April 2024

Have a much needed facial today. I don't know what is going on with my skin this week. I normally have no issues. I don't know if I'm having an allergic reaction to something or this is bug bites or what. Hopefully the facial will help calm some stuff down. I also need to pack for quick trip to Virginia. SIL is retiring after 35 years (I think) of teaching. We go down tomorrow and back Sunday. I'm not looking forward to the drive down and back (8 hours each way) but it will be good to celebrate her. I will have a Zoom meeting in the car on the way down (H will be driving). Hopefully I'll get some reading about Portugal done.

mrsconn23 · April 2024

Good luck either way @casadena! Internal interviews with people you know are so hard because you're trying so hard not to infer anything.

My younger sister is a teacher and had a mandatory reporting situation come up last night. It's such a mess and very frustrating for so many reasons. All I can say is that the internet is too vast for young minds to have unmonitored access.

Work this week is just...ugh. My boss is back from her work trip and I want to talk to her about work stuff, but I have to stop being annoyed about most of it before we do. I'm working on other stuff instead. Ha.

Prudie coming up!

short+sassy · April 2024

Mosquitoes are back in town! Jerks. I'm really susceptible to mosquitos. I have about six, itchy bites on my legs from sitting outside for a few hours on Tuesday. Back to the nightly bug spraying of myself when I get home from work. Other than that, it's a busy but good day at work.

banana468 · April 2024

I'm having a rough time with Chiquita. Last night I had a heart to heart with her GS leader who said that Chiquita's behavior over the last few months has been alienating the girls to the point that they're not wanting to do events that she's involved in.

I'm also not surprised. She's defensive and resistant to change and DH and I are working with her on her self awareness. She's the kind of person who tries hard to be funny but instead it's not funny - it's annoying. She's a great person who needs to figure out what things work and what don't and in the meantime she has not been open to seeing that if everyone says the person is good but the behavior is bad then change the behavior.

I think we found a telehealth therapist and I'm hoping getting back on that path works. Being 13, not yet having a period but seeing the body changes and dealing with ADHD plus her diagnosis is A LOT.

short+sassy · April 2024

@banana468, I'm sorry to hear Chiquita is having such a rough time! 13 is a horrible age for everybody, but having to deal with major medical issues at the same time is extra tough and something that no kid should have to deal with. I hope the telehealth therapist helps her.

CharmedPam · April 2024

banana468 said:

I'm also not surprised. She's defensive and resistant to change and DH and I are working with her on her self awareness. She's the kind of person who tries hard to be funny but instead it's not funny - it's annoying. She's a great person who needs to figure out what things work and what don't and in the meantime she has not been open to seeing that if everyone says the person is good but the behavior is bad then change the behavior.

This describes me to a T at that age. But don’t worry, I got there and people think I’m FUN-EE. Well, maybe not other people but I do. She’ll get there

good luck with the interviews @Casadena. It probably helps that it IS internal and they know you already.

Mosquitoes already @“short+sassy"? I’m going to respectfully decline. Pass.

Yesterday was awesome! I was skeptical on Teresa Cuputo but I think she’s real. Unless they planted like 15 people in the audience and it’s still all an act. If that’s the case, I lost faith in humanity. I also believe in mediums because I went to a few good ones myself. However, it was 2 hours away (yay breaking in new car), and I stayed behind after the show to avoid the parking lot madness so I didn’t get home till 12:30! But in my eyes, worth the trip and day off. We met some really cool people at the show and bar. I like meeting new people and thankfully so does my friend

mrsconn23 · April 2024

Poor Chiquita!! I hope therapy helps. She's got so much going on and it's a lot to take on for an adult, much less an adolescent.

Jr High is rough if you're 'normal', but having anything that makes you 'stick out' just makes the experience exponentially worse. I'm thankful even though DefConn is on a team at school school that is all IEP kids (he's dyslexic), it hasn't impacted him too much socially.

DefConn is also a very funny kid, but doesn't know when to pull back sometimes. I've had to get on him about how much shit he talks to DH because I can tell when DH gets frustrated. We've also seen him be rude to friends at times and we're always like, "Umm, do you want friends?!"

banana468 · April 2024

I legitimately think that there's a lack of social awareness she's always had. And she needs to learn how to change behavior depending on the audience. Just like she won't act weird in front of say, my parents she also needs to know that you aren't changing you personality if you know something irritates others.

We're in the throws of anxiety and the ADHD is both blamed and really a major issue. Every day and I mean EVERY DAY homework gets done by begging and saying she needs to refocus.

DH has been resistant to medication but I think she needs both that and behavior modification.

charlotte989875 · April 2024

Ugh that’s so so rough @banana468. I’d imagine part of it feels like you want your kid to be accepted and have friends, even if they’re a little different. But unfortunately if enough kids are experiencing her in a certain way you want her to be able to adjust. 13 is the absolute worst.

charlotte989875 · April 2024

J’s cough is getting better (yay!) but his weight was down and now his head circumference is small (not decreases but not increased as much as it should) so that’s not great. We’re in a “wait and see” situation with that but it still sucks. All the stuff you never expected to have to deal with after having a kid who was perfectly average.

banana468 · April 2024

charlotte989875 said:

Ugh that’s so so rough @banana468. I’d imagine part of it feels like you want your kid to be accepted and have friends, even if they’re a little different. But unfortunately if enough kids are experiencing her in a certain way you want her to be able to adjust. 13 is the absolute worst.

Exactly. I don't want her to change WHO she is.

But there's a fundamental difference between changing your behavior and changing your personality. And I am sadly fully on board that some of the things she is doing are annoying her peers because they're annoying me.

She's the kind of kid who pushes buttons in the name of humor and does not know when to quit. And as a mom when I say, "I have asked you repeatedly to stop it because when you make that voice or keep doing what I said not to do, it's undermining, annoying, etc."

levioosa · April 2024

@banana468 if her diagnoses are impacting her quality of life, then something has to give, whether it's more therapy, medication or a combo. I know it can be hard for parents to get on board with. There's often a "failure" feeling as a parent when additional steps have to be taken, but that's an internal feeling, not the truth. And you have been doing all of the right things and have been supportive but have maintained boundaries, which is also critical to her development. Chiquita has been through a lot and this is literally the worst age (junior high years can go die in a fire, kids are so savage and hormonal at that age). And does she truly not understand why some things are inappropriate when you point it out, or does she just let her impulses run away with her until the buttons have been pushed and the things have been said? Because those are very different problems.

@casadena sending you good vibes! Yay for G's port removal! And I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I hope she recovers well and quickly.

@short+sassy mosquitos are the worst. They used to not be that bad in Southern California but now we have those Tiger Mosquitos and they even bite through your pants. It's horrible. I never used to get bit and now I'm covered in the warm months. They're way more aggressive than normal mosquitos.

It's my Friday today. I didn't go to Vegas but I did decide to keep tomorrow off. This week has been rough. There's a "training" going on and admin has been following us and timing us all week. I loathe micromanaging. And I'm trying to be efficient but not so efficient that they say "oh, well it looks like we can squeeze even more appointments (i.e. profit) into your schedule!" but also not so slow that they tell me I need to speed it up. The providers are all disgruntled. One of them commented to the person following them, "oh, are you going to write down how long I pee and then tell me I took too long?" haha. Another one of our providers got spicy and told them this was ridiculous because for every appointment that is in the room they don't see the hours of documentation out of the room and at home. I complained because they took my MA for the training so I don't even have my normal employee. My schedule is a mess right now and people are triple booking me so I'm extra hustling to get through my day but I'm worried about all of the aforementioned.

Tomorrow SIL B invited us to dinner to celebrate her doctoral degree. We said yes although we're

about the cost of it all. Absolutely I will draw a line if she expects us to pay for her though. Her bf planned the event and then they asked us if we wanted to join. Then BIL A texted H last night and said, "oh we might be having people over on Saturday if you guys want to join to celebrate SIL A's bday, we're not really sure yet though." Which I read as "we're drunk in Vegas, don't want to commit, and want the opportunity to back out." I dunno. Things are weird. I've been in a funk all week. I'm still grieving the change in friendship and the fact that I worked all week while I was supposed to be having fun on a trip was just insult to injury. I think I'll feel a little better after this week but it's all of the things stacked on that are adding to the funk.

Tomorrow is my grandparent's 70th year wedding anniversary. I probably could count on one hand how many couples I've personally met who have been together that long, let alone married for that long. Grandma said she could still fit into her wedding suit, but she was doubtful that Grandpa could fit into his Navy uniform lol.

banana468 · April 2024

levioosa said:

@banana468 if her diagnoses are impacting her quality of life, then something has to give, whether it's more therapy, medication or a combo. I know it can be hard for parents to get on board with. There's often a "failure" feeling as a parent when additional steps have to be taken, but that's an internal feeling, not the truth. And you have been doing all of the right things and have been supportive but have maintained boundaries, which is also critical to her development. Chiquita has been through a lot and this is literally the worst age (junior high years can go die in a fire, kids are so savage and hormonal at that age). And does she truly not understand why some things are inappropriate when you point it out, or does she just let her impulses run away with her until the buttons have been pushed and the things have been said? Because those are very different problems.

SITB - I think it can be both. In the moment, she doesn't get it. And we have to redirect a lot. Between the behavior with us and peers and focus on work I really think there's a lot that needs to be done both with medication and therapy.

CharmedPam · April 2024

@levioosa sorry for the work issues. Happy 70th to your grandparents. You’re right. You don’t see that often

MobKaz · April 2024

banana468 said:

I'm having a rough time with Chiquita. Last night I had a heart to heart with her GS leader who said that Chiquita's behavior over the last few months has been alienating the girls to the point that they're not wanting to do events that she's involved in.

I'm also not surprised. She's defensive and resistant to change and DH and I are working with her on her self awareness. She's the kind of person who tries hard to be funny but instead it's not funny - it's annoying. She's a great person who needs to figure out what things work and what don't and in the meantime she has not been open to seeing that if everyone says the person is good but the behavior is bad then change the behavior.

I think we found a telehealth therapist and I'm hoping getting back on that path works. Being 13, not yet having a period but seeing the body changes and dealing with ADHD plus her diagnosis is A LOT.

I've become almost exclusively a lurker, but once in a while a post just speaks to me. I was in the school system for 40 years; recently retired. I've worked exclusively within the SPED field, but within a general school setting. I've seen a lot both professionally and personally within my own family.

You are probably well aware, but meds during puberty are tricky. Dosages/effectiveness can change over night. It is such a delicate balance maintaining the right dosage.

Hopefully, this is not the case, however I offer it as some food for thought. A lot of kids that develop learning and/or medical issues at her age have a tendency to fear the worst in terms of friendships and stigma. It is not uncommon for kids to either subconsciously, or knowingly, change their interactions with friends. If they fear they will lose friends as a result of their medical/educational challenges, they might change in a way to "fulfill that prophecy." Better that they take control over a potential friendship loss than to wait for it to happen.

Middle school can be the worst under the best of circumstances. It was truly the worst 3 years when my daughter was at that age. There is such significant growth, changes and pressure those 3 years, and they also coincide with the "typical" physical, mental, and social changes. Your plates are so full. I've been keeping you in my prayers.

short+sassy · April 2024

@levioosa, Wow! I never got bit by mosquitos when I was growing up in CA. I looked up earlier today if Cincinnati has mosquitos. Alas, they do. But I'm betting dollars to doughnuts it's not the levels it is here.

I'm sorry to hear work has been so stressful! Geez! I'm sure timing everyone while they do their work is great for morale //s.

levioosa · April 2024

short+sassy said:

@levioosa, Wow! I never got bit by mosquitos when I was growing up in CA. I looked up earlier today if Cincinnati has mosquitos. Alas, they do. But I'm betting dollars to doughnuts it's not the levels it is here.

I'm sorry to hear work has been so stressful! Geez! I'm sure timing everyone while they do their work is great for morale //s.

I never used to either! Unless we were in the woods or something. But out in the backyard? Never. I even rarely used to get bites when we would go to Yosemite. But they have moved in with a vengeance. And they look so much more menacing too with their stripes.

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