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Tuesday!

charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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in Wedding Woes
I couldn’t come up with any good alliterations this morning. 

Things are okay here, J was sick still this weekend and had to get a second dose of steroids. We’re still watching him closely since he’s not back to 100% yet   

But the weather is beautiful. We took a walk and played out in the yard yesterday. M came home from school dirty, sweaty, and so happy. We went down to the creek and it’s amazing how well he can run down the path and climb over things in the woods. He’s getting so big! 
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Re: Tuesday!

  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    Also- I start back two weeks from today. I’m not really sure I’m ready but unless I want to take all my PTO immediately I don’t think I have much choice. Also none of my clothes fit right still and I really really don’t want to buy a ton of new stuff. Ugh. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    @charlotte989875 can you look into things like summer dresses and throw a blazer on?  Could they work for your job and be forgiving?  Or elastic waist pants that can help?   I found that wrap dresses could work when I was a nursing mom because they were boob friendly and then I could tighten/loosen as needed.  Ditto if it's an airy button dress that can be augmented with the form of a jacket.  Who cares if the jacket won't button if you're heading into warmer months?
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  • CasadenaCasadena member
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    I hope J continues to improve! And i don't have any advice about not feeling good in your clothes, but can definitely commiserate. Banana has some good suggestions for sure!
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  • CasadenaCasadena member
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    G didn't nap at school yesterday (love when that happens) so he actually went to sleep quickly last night. N took forever so H fell asleep in his room too. G didn't want hugs at school today for the first time i can remember. I'm glad he's getting more independent but also a little weepy that he's apparently over hugs from mom. 

    Forcing myself to finish a couple things at work that have been hanging over my head for too long and I want to stop thinking about them. I'm also waiting to hear about the job interview - honestly i'll be fine either way - i'm just excited to know. My call last week with the outside recruiter went well too, so that could be a possibility if this doesn't work out. 

    Hoping to make it to yoga at lunch and tomorrow am starting a 7:30am workout class at the office gym. Very excited to get back to exercise, nervous bc i'm the most out of shape i've ever been. 

    H and I started ordering Factor meals (#influenced) and will get out first order on Sunday. Hoping it will solve both our issues - I eat out too much bc i usually don't remember to bring lunch, then overeat - he gets busy and forgets to eat and won't take time to cook himself anything at lunch. We'll see how it works for a few weeks and reassess, but we've heard good things so I'm looking forward to convenient (and hopefully decent tasting) lunch options. 

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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    Thanks @banana468, I’ll have to check out some wrap dresses or button ups! I can probably get away with those without a blazer on my office days in the summer. Any recommendations on where to look? 
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    charlotte989875 said:
    Thanks @banana468, I’ll have to check out some wrap dresses or button ups! I can probably get away with those without a blazer on my office days in the summer. Any recommendations on where to look? 
    For lower cost easy dresses I'd try Loft which seems to have sales all the time.  You may also be surprised at the options at Old Navy too.  

    Also, this is your body.  So rather than feel like you're inadequate find the pieces that make you feel GOOD!    If there's an outlet near you I have sometimes hit it just right w/ J Crew Factory or Banana Factory which are a better price point for me even at full cost. 

    And I haven't tried a ton of their stuff but direct to consumer Quince has surprised me with their quality for the $ and I have my eye on some linen items for summer.   I have picked up their silk pajamas, a cashmere sweater for Chiquita and an alpaca cardigan all of which are holding up fine. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    Something like this could work depending on your office.  Wear with a dressier pair of shoes and jewelry with the right top layer and it's office appropriate.  On the weekends with casual sandals or flip flops and it handles puke and nursing on the fly.  

    https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=863563022&cid=15292&pcid=15292&vid=1&cpos=40&cexp=2926&kcid=CategoryIDs=15292&cvar=26331&ctype=Listing&cpid=res24043008594128798038758#pdp-page-content  
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  • CasadenaCasadena member
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    @banana468 are returns pretty smooth with Quince? I've seen a lot of ads on social media for them lately and really like some of the items, but haven't looked into it more than that.
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    Thank you! I do have a J.Crew factory nearby (and a gift card!) so maybe I should just make a trip to see what they have there! 
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    Casadena said:
    @banana468 are returns pretty smooth with Quince? I've seen a lot of ads on social media for them lately and really like some of the items, but haven't looked into it more than that.
    I haven't returned so I'm not sure.  I can say that the $50 cashmere is a 'you get what you pay for' for quality but it's Chiquita's and I'm fine that she has a nicer sweater that may be pilled knowing she throws her clothing on the floor. 


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  • levioosalevioosa member
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    I have also heard good things about Quince (#influenced) but haven't purchased from them yet. If you are looking for comfy pants, the Amanda & Chelsea brand that Nordstrom's Rack carries is very comfortable and stretchy. They do run a little large. 

    Weekend was...interesting. BIL invited us over to celebrate SIL A's birthday on Saturday. We ended up going and it went mostly okay but things are still weird. I'm not sure what I expect, because they're not going to be the same, I'm just trying to figure out the new normal. But otherwise we finished out fence, I did a good hike, and things are warming up over here. We also went to celebrate SIL B graduating soon and nearly died. I knew better than to mix so many different types of alcohol, but I got way too excited about a cool cocktail menu. Mixing three different alcohol containing cocktails with a glass of red wine reminded me that nope, I am certainly not 20 anymore. 

    Otherwise, SSDD. 

    Good healing vibes to J @charlotte989875



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  • banana468banana468 member
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    charlotte989875 said:
    I did also splurge on the Spanx dress pants. I figure pants that make me feel good are worth the money, so anything else has to be relatively cheaper! 
    I don't own a real Peloton but I take their classes on my spin bike.  One of their instructors says "Self care is not selfish." It's my affirmation in times like this.  Buy the pants that make you feel like yourself and wear them because they fit rather than feel like you're somehow not worthy because your body grew and gave birth to another human.    
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
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    I never heard of Quince. I’ll check them out. I was at Ross the other day, and my size dresses were VERY sparse, but they do have some great deals there too!
    of course, temu and shein since you got the time for delivery but I know how some feel about fast fashion

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  • banana468banana468 member
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    CharmedPam said:
    I never heard of Quince. I’ll check them out. I was at Ross the other day, and my size dresses were VERY sparse, but they do have some great deals there too!
    of course, temu and shein since you got the time for delivery but I know how some feel about fast fashion
    That's my concern w/ those places.  I'm in general not a huge fan of it but I also think it can have its place depending on the product type.   That said, I really try to not support buying when the manufacturing practices are dubious (Temu). 
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  • levioosalevioosa member
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    charlotte989875 said:
    I did also splurge on the Spanx dress pants. I figure pants that make me feel good are worth the money, so anything else has to be relatively cheaper! 
    Ooh, let me know how you like them. I keep debating on buying a pair but the price tag feels like a sucker punch to the gut.


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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
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    banana468 said:
    charlotte989875 said:
    Thanks @banana468, I’ll have to check out some wrap dresses or button ups! I can probably get away with those without a blazer on my office days in the summer. Any recommendations on where to look? 
    For lower cost easy dresses I'd try Loft which seems to have sales all the time.  You may also be surprised at the options at Old Navy too.  

    Also, this is your body.  So rather than feel like you're inadequate find the pieces that make you feel GOOD!    If there's an outlet near you I have sometimes hit it just right w/ J Crew Factory or Banana Factory which are a better price point for me even at full cost. 

    And I haven't tried a ton of their stuff but direct to consumer Quince has surprised me with their quality for the $ and I have my eye on some linen items for summer.   I have picked up their silk pajamas, a cashmere sweater for Chiquita and an alpaca cardigan all of which are holding up fine. 
    DD loves Quince and has bought several items from them. I think JCrew is having a sale right now (not the outlet) because she was sending me some links to dresses she was ordering to take on a trip with some friends from grad school. One was a shirt dress so that might work @cha@charlotte989875
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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
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    charlotte989875 said:
    I did also splurge on the Spanx dress pants. I figure pants that make me feel good are worth the money, so anything else has to be relatively cheaper! 
    Yes, If they make you feel good they are worth it. They are also high quality. I had a turtleneck and T-shirt from there years ago and they never wore out! I just got tired or them!
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    edited April 2024
    Oh that's so sad @ILoveBeachMusic.  Sending lots of vibes of comfort, healing, and peace their direction. 

    A couple of women in my mom group swear by the Spanx dress pants.  If I ever go back to an office again, I'll definitely consider them.  I've heard about Quince on podcasts and just went to their site for the first time today.  I'm pleasantly surprised at their prices and options.  

    DH is leaving in the next hour to head to Cincy for work.  He's staying with BIL/SIL.  It's SIL's (my BFF) bday today.  I was like, "you can have the gift...of my husband."  LOL  We'll go for nails or something next time we're together. 

    It's absolutely gorgeous today.  We went for a lunchtime walk and I plan to sit out on the deck after work and get some rays. I love this weather.  Makes me forget it's a Tuesday. 

    SSDD otherwise.  
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    Oh @ILoveBeachMusic how heartbreaking. 

    I think a lot of how you handle that with kids can lie with how much they know about death and any overall belief system that the family has.       His teacher is likely not there and won't be for the rest of the year so my guess is that as the grandmother you bounce of your daughter how much she's told the kids, asked what they're saying and how they handle it.  

    I'm not advocating for sweeping it under the carpet but at their age and relationship I'm not sure how much needs to be re stated other than their teacher may appreciate a card saying that you're thinking of her.  


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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
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    banana468 said:
    Oh @ILoveBeachMusic how heartbreaking. 

    I think a lot of how you handle that with kids can lie with how much they know about death and any overall belief system that the family has.       His teacher is likely not there and won't be for the rest of the year so my guess is that as the grandmother you bounce of your daughter how much she's told the kids, asked what they're saying and how they handle it.  

    I'm not advocating for sweeping it under the carpet but at their age and relationship I'm not sure how much needs to be re stated other than their teacher may appreciate a card saying that you're thinking of her.  


    Thanks Banana. The boys have dealt with a little bit of death having lost two great grandfathers in the last year. That was explained because the grandparents were old and their bodies wore out. Explaining a baby's death is so much harder.  DD who is in the medical field, said that having a baby can be difficult for the baby and/or the mom and that sometimes this is the outcome. Also they talked about how yes we believe in God and that Emily is with him now (I have no idea if the teacher's family is religious but their area is heavily Catholic),but I wouldn't be surprised if he asks me "why" she is with God when his teacher loved her so much. Last night DD told me she thinks he is still processing it since he didn't say much.
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  • levioosalevioosa member
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    @ILoveBeachMusic Here is a link to some children's books about death. Some of them aren't quite appropriate for the situation (although you mentioned some recent family losses) but there are one or two that would fit that you could either look at to give you ideas about phrasing, or to have in case they need it. I was definitely tearing up just looking at some of these books. 

    https://www.forjudeforeveryone.com/childrens-books-about-loss-and-grief/


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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    Someone gave me "Maybe Tomorrow?" when my mom died for DefConn.  I passed it along to older sis's BFF for her kids when her FIL died suddenly.    I loved it.  
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    @VarunaTT, Wow!  I am SO sorry that happened to you!  I hope it turns out to be a blessing in disguise and your next job is even higher paying and a great fit.  It's horrible that person got their way.  If your direct boss was happy with you, that's what should have mattered the most.

    Great idea about using ChatGPT for cover letters!  When I'm job hunting, I tailor my resume and cover letter to each specific job.  Which is the smart way to do it, but then I quickly get tired of it and apply for fewer things because it's so onerous.
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    banana468 said:
    Oh @ILoveBeachMusic how heartbreaking. 

    I think a lot of how you handle that with kids can lie with how much they know about death and any overall belief system that the family has.       His teacher is likely not there and won't be for the rest of the year so my guess is that as the grandmother you bounce of your daughter how much she's told the kids, asked what they're saying and how they handle it.  

    I'm not advocating for sweeping it under the carpet but at their age and relationship I'm not sure how much needs to be re stated other than their teacher may appreciate a card saying that you're thinking of her.  


    Thanks Banana. The boys have dealt with a little bit of death having lost two great grandfathers in the last year. That was explained because the grandparents were old and their bodies wore out. Explaining a baby's death is so much harder.  DD who is in the medical field, said that having a baby can be difficult for the baby and/or the mom and that sometimes this is the outcome. Also they talked about how yes we believe in God and that Emily is with him now (I have no idea if the teacher's family is religious but their area is heavily Catholic),but I wouldn't be surprised if he asks me "why" she is with God when his teacher loved her so much. Last night DD told me she thinks he is still processing it since he didn't say much.
    When my SIL was expecting my two nieces, my oldest niece said that her sister was going to 'grow up with god'..  We have said to the kids that their cousins are in heaven to listen to our prayers.    As Catholics we believe that a baby that passes is a saint and that's how we view the family lost that way.  I realize that's not the same for everyone so how to talk about it with kids is going to vary from home to home.

    @VarunaTT it looks like you're handling this the best way you can and moving forward.  I hope it's a blessing and you find a better office fit for you!
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  • MNNEBrideMNNEBride member
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    @VarunaTT, I'm sorry this happened to you.  What a bunch of BS.  So glad your direct boss has offered his reference and gave you and additional month of severance.  We're here for you as well.

    We had a neuro. appointment for DH today.  He did better on the cognitive tests today than he did last time.  That's the nature of his disease.  We talked about how things were going and he brought up that we'd had a few very rough days last week.  He told the Dr. he had said some pretty awful things to me (true) and thought he needed some med changes to help his mood and anger.  This was eye-opening to me as we never discussed what had been said at home.  I'm glad he realized it and recognizes how hurtful it was.  The Dr. gave some good suggestions for tweaks to meds and also talked about the nature of the disease.  As a caregiver/spouse, it's hard to remember it's the disease talking when the works are directed at you.  Things have been better this week so we'll continue to take it one day (hour, minute) at a time.  

    I have a haircut and nail appointment today so it's an evening of self-care!

    The cat is VERY chatty.  She'll carry on an entire conversation if you respond.  Reminds me of a toddler telling you a story that you can't really figure out but you respond appropriately.  We interviewed a cat sitter/house sitter last night though Rover.  I think she'll be a good fit to be here while we're gone over Memorial Day.  Bonus that she's a vet tech.  Never thought I'd be hiring a babysitter for a cat lol.
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  • CasadenaCasadena member
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    @VarunaTT I'm so sorry you're having to deal with a job loss - it's such a shock when something like that happens. Sounds like your former boss respects and appreciates you and hopefully his reference is really valuable as you figure out your next move.
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