Dear Prudence,
I think I wrecked my husbands’ relationship with his brother and his family, and don’t know what to do now. And his brother doesn’t know it. Or at least I don’t think so. Let me explain. When I first married and first visited his brother’s family, I of course wanted to be liked and to play nice and get along. We were staying with them for a week. There was the brother, his wife, and they have three girls. One night, my sister-in-law was cooking and she pulled me aside to let me in on a little joke. She was putting meat juice in my husband’s food. He’s a vegetarian. I was shocked but didn’t want to make a fuss, so I just went along and laughed.
Years went by and one Thanksgiving, after eating her meal, my husband had to get up and vomit. At first, we were surprised, but later it occurred to me that it was her little joke that made him vomit. Later, I confronted one of the daughters. She admitted it was a mistake to put that much meat juice in the stuffing this time. So after we came home, I told my husband all of it. Now, he no longer wants to talk to them or see them. He takes their calls and is nice but won’t call them and his brother is starting to ask me what’s wrong. I don’t know if the brother knows about the so-called “juicing.” And he’s a very critical guy who will always protect his perfect wife.
So do I tell him what I know? Could it make a difference? My husband’s feelings have been hurt to no end knowing he was a butt of a joke for so long by people he thought loved him.
—To Tell or Not to Tell