Favors
Donation to a charity...
in Favors
I just heard of this idea. In place of a favor a couple gave each guest a card stating that a donation was given to a specific charity. I think it's a great idea, what are your thoughts on this? Thanks!
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Re: Donation to a charity...
There is a sticky at the top of the Favors page you should read. The overwhelming majority of people will tell you that these are not for the guests. They are a way to draw attention to yourself to say "Look how selfless we are."
Look at it this way. Even though a favor is a cheap little trinket or bit of food, you are essentially saying "We got you a gift. What? Where is it? Oh, no silly, you don't get to have it. We gave it to Sue over there. But it is still your gift. Aren't we great?"
Another pitfall in doing this is that you may unintentionally offend your guests. I have hated SGK for years and refuse to buy anything with its pink ribbon on it. A breast cancer charity may seem like it would not offend anyone, but as we all found out a few months ago, it is quite capable of offending a great number of people.
Favors aren't required but if you do them, actually give your guests something. A lot of people recommend edible favors.
[QUOTE]There is a sticky at the top of this thread that is completely biased as to what a few people on this board think about donating to a charity in leiu of favors. It still baffles me to this day that people get offended/upset if you do this. Over the last couple of years the more weddings I go to, the more weddings that do this. It simply shows that the couple wanted to do favors, but decided to donate the money instead, and I still can't believe people get their panties in a bunch over this! I have not seen or heard one person at any of the weddings get upset by this, I mean seriously, who would? Obviously the previous posters would, but I wouldn't want people like that at my wedding! <strong>I'm sure it's only not accepted in big cities where snooty people expect something good for a favor and are compeletely dissapointed to get nothing but a piece of paper :)
</strong>Posted by allisonkbye[/QUOTE]
Seriously? I grew up in Cincinnati. Not exactly a big city. Donations to charity should be a private thing. Next time you donate to your favorite, walk up and down the street announcing your donation. See what kinds of looks you get. It's the same thing.
[QUOTE]There is a sticky at the top of this thread that is completely biased as to what a few people on this board think about donating to a charity in leiu of favors. It still baffles me to this day that people get offended/upset if you do this. Over the last couple of years the more weddings I go to, the more weddings that do this. It simply shows that the couple wanted to do favors, but decided to donate the money instead, and I still can't believe people get their panties in a bunch over this! I have not seen or heard one person at any of the weddings get upset by this, I mean seriously, who would? Obviously the previous posters would, but <strong>I wouldn't want people like that at my wedding! I'm sure it's only not accepted in big cities where snooty people expect something good for a favor and are compeletely dissapointed to get nothing but a piece of paper</strong> :)
Posted by allisonkbye[/QUOTE]
<div>I've only recently moved from the city I grew up in, which had less than 2,000 people, and I would side eye a bride and groom that did this. As PP said, this is a "look at us" move, favors are never required, and if you choose to put that money towards a charity of your choice great, but there is no need to broadcast it. Furthermore, a lot of "charities" actually do very little giving to their cause, they spend money on staff and publicity, leaving a tiny fraction left over for the actual cause. I research charities I donate to very carefully, and I don't want anyone giving a donation on my behalf to charities that don't give the majority of funds received to the cause or give money to a cause I cannot in good conscience support. I think you'll find a lot of people don't support giving money to charities that spend more on staff and publicity than raising money for the cause they're advocating for, just because someone brands themself as a charity doesn't mean they are an organization worthy of support.</div>
[QUOTE]There is a sticky at the top of this thread that is completely biased as to what a few people on this board think about donating to a charity in leiu of favors. It still baffles me to this day that people get offended/upset if you do this. Over the last couple of years the more weddings I go to, the more weddings that do this. It simply shows that the couple wanted to do favors, but decided to donate the money instead, and I still can't believe people get their panties in a bunch over this! I have not seen or heard one person at any of the weddings get upset by this, I mean seriously, who would? Obviously the previous posters would, but I wouldn't want people like that at my wedding!<strong> I'm sure it's only not accepted in big cities where snooty people expect something good for a favor and are compeletely dissapointed to get nothing but a piece of paper :)
</strong>Posted by allisonkbye[/QUOTE]
Los Angeles native here, and frankly, I'd rather not receive any favor at all. Most favors, unless edible, are going straight into the trash when they get home. I'd rather have the couple save their money...or even donate it to charity. That's a much better use of the favor budget. <em>But don't tell me it's a gift to me, because it's not, and then expect me to congratulate you for letting me know that you're such a caring, giving person.
</em>
[QUOTE]There is a sticky at the top of this thread that is completely biased as to what a few people on this board think about donating to a charity in leiu of favors. It still baffles me to this day that people get offended/upset if you do this. Over the last couple of years the more weddings I go to, the more weddings that do this. It simply shows that the couple wanted to do favors, but decided to donate the money instead, and I still can't believe people get their panties in a bunch over this! I have not seen or heard one person at any of the weddings get upset by this, I mean seriously, who would? Obviously the previous posters would, but I wouldn't want people like that at my wedding!<strong> I'm sure it's only not accepted in big cities where snooty people expect something good for a favor and are compeletely dissapointed to get nothing but a piece of paper :) </strong>
Posted by allisonkbye[/QUOTE]
Way to make a sweeping generalization to try and prove your point that is completely untrue.
I'm not from a big city and would rather have no favor at all. If you would have actually read my post, you'd see I mentioned no favors were necessary. Just because you have seen something done before doesn't make it right. I have seen people put registry info on their invitation but the fact that it's poor etiquette still remains the same.
And just because no one has personally told the B&G at previous weddings they were offended by this, doesn't mean they weren't. It's also proper manners to not point out to someone's face their poor manners. Most people with tact would not shoot their mouth off at a wedding about how something is tacky; doesn't mean they aren't thinking it though.
[QUOTE]We were originally planning to do this, but have changed our minds after reading all the posts about it. I've never been to a wedding where it was done, so I don't know how our group will feel about it. I still see both sides to it though - <strong>I've gotten tons of stupid trinkets with couples names/wedding dates on them & I think it's a waste.</strong> I would rather see that $ go to a charity (even if I don't like the charity) then just end up in the trash. We're going to go with something edible (not sure what yet, we still have a year to go) instead & just continue donating on our own.
Posted by ghowlett[/QUOTE]
These are also strongly discouranged. Your best bet is doing something edible.
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Wedding Favor Ideas: Charity in Mind? http://blog.weddingcrowd.com/wedding-favor-ideas-charity-in-mind/
What are YOUR thoughts?
xoxo
My mom died of breast cancer and I want to do something at my wedding to remember her in a way that isn't sad or upsetting to other family members, but is also visible to my guests and family members because her presence is missed by all of us. I can't think of a better way to remember her than by placing a small sign somewhere at the reception letting our guests know that as part of our wedding we donated money to an organization she cared about and that focuses on finding a cure for the disease that took her from us. I also can't think of any better favor than to contribute to preventing any of my wedding guests from losing someone they love to cancer. If anyone judges me for it then so be it, but I think that says more about that person's internal complexes than it says that I am being "showy."
That being said, I would recommend that anyone thinking of doing this consider placing a sign on one table describing the donation, rather than at every persons' seat. That just seems like too much to me. I also would recommend that you make sure you know the organization you are donating to. CharityNavigator.org and CharityWatch.org are both great resources.
There is no reason why you can't contribute from your own funds to a charity...but also absolutely no reason to make a big announcement of it at your wedding, let alone that you did it "in lieu of" a favor to your guests. Whatever the cause, from breast cancer to ending starvation, your wedding isn't the place to go pushing it any more than it is to push your personal political views. Weddings are not fundraisers.
Not only that, it adds a note of sadness to what should be a happy day.