Wedding Woes

Make your plans and let her be mad.

Dear Prudence,

I am moving temporarily overseas. Since summer is coming, I thought of inviting my two nieces to come visit. I would pay for the plane tickets. One is in college and the other will be starting high school. My brother is engaged and his fiancée is particularly pissed off that I didn’t think to include her 17-year-old daughter in the offer. I accidentally overheard her talking with my brother; he forgot to hang up, and she was saying nasty things about me over this. I have never met this girl. I only met the fiancée this Christmas for a few days at our parents. I was happy that my brother found someone, but this reaction is so bizarre and out of left field that it leaves me stumped on how to proceed. Do I talk to my brother about it? Ignore it? Bring it up to my other two siblings (parents of my nieces)? If my brother wanted to bring both of them on a trip to visit me, I would be more than happy to host. But only if he was there. This entire situation just makes me leery.

—Trip Advice

Re: Make your plans and let her be mad.

  • Let the FI be upset.  
  • Casadena said:
    Continue with your plans and dont' spend another minute thinking you might be in the wrong. t's a little out of line, imo for the FI to assume her daughter who's never met you would be included. And why would she even WANT to go? This whole situation seems odd to me. 
    Right!?  I can't imagine sending my kid out of the country to be with someone who is a stranger to her!  
  • Wait the brother isn’t the parent of the nieces that are going? Yah the FI is way out of line. Ignore it and enjoy the time with your nieces. 
  • Unless she makes a BFD to everyone in the family about it, I wouldn't say anything to the niece's parents.  

    Also, this is a situation where LW overheard something that wasn't intended for them.  It's entirely possible that LW's brother told FI she was being out of line.  

    If no one has said anything to LW, there's no need to make waves.  
  • Is your brother bananapants? If not, assume that he told his FI that she's an idiot for expecting someone to take a strange teenager out of the country for the summer.

    If so, there's no point in engaging anyway. 
  • This is insanity. I already thought it was insanity that the FI would be upset her daughter wasn't invited, then I realized that that brother wasn't even the parent of the nieces! Why on earth would LW invite a stranger's daughter? I could maybe see getting a little hurt on behalf of my daughter if her step siblings were invited somewhere fun and she was "excluded," but ma'am, please. 


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