Dear Prudence,
My sister has been diagnosed with a neurological condition where she can no longer live alone. She has seizures and falls. It was only by the grace of God that a neighbor came by and saw her. Neither of her children were willing to have her move in with them, so she moved in with me. It was a mistake. She and her children make zero effort to respect me or my home. It isn’t a dumping ground for free childcare or dog-sitting. I am tired of coming home to find that my sister agreed to watch her grandchildren for the weekend without telling me, and their mother turns off her phone so I can’t tell her to come back to get them. I am in my backyard watching it get trashed because my nephew took a job out of town and dumped his large dogs on us for a week (they are large and unwalkable).
I have repeatedly told them this is unacceptable, and they don’t care. My sister argues that this is her home too, and she doesn’t need my “permission.” We had fights, and I told her to pack her bags if she doesn’t like living under my roof. She isn’t going to find a hole in the ground for what social security she gets, and her children will definitely not help. She locks herself in her room and cries. I finally told my niece that if she drops her kids off again, I will call CPS (she’s had trouble with them before). I also told my nephew I will drop his dogs at the shelter. They can get off their asses and make other arrangements. It is a huge mess, and my sister claims I am stressing her so much that her condition is getting worse. I love her, but this is insane. Please advise.
—Too Much