Dear Prudence,
I’m a single guy with a close male friend. We are both in our mid-thirties. He has probably been my closest friend since 9th grade. About eight years ago, he revealed to me that he is gay. It made no difference in our friendship. But I know he has never told any of his family, and I don’t think any of his other friends either. So everyone but me sees him as straight. About a year or so ago, I asked him how he engages with other gays, since he never seems to date. He explained he goes to a larger city about 90 minutes from our rather smallish town, and visits gay bars there. And he added, “I have action here in town too. There are three married men who come to my house from time to time. All three of them think they are the only one. I am only telling you because I know you will never tell anyone.” Fine. Of course I will never tell anyone.
Then, two weeks ago, I was coming home from another friend’s house at 11 PM, and the main road was closed for construction, and I had to detour to other streets. I happened to pass my friend’s house, and recognized a vehicle in his driveway. It belongs to a woman I work with, and she sometimes brings that vehicle to work. It has personalized plates on it, so I instantly knew it was hers. I also realized that she was currently out of town for three days for training. I felt like someone kicked me in the stomach. I have met her husband before. Great couple. But I am 90 percent sure why he is at my friend’s house (since the house is dark). This has been a tough two weeks. I wish I had never taken that route. I have a hard time talking to her at work. I made a promise, and I will never break it. But I feel like I almost need to get another job. What would you do?