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Wedding Woes

this is not a friend

I moved to a new town and joined a group. One person appeared to take me under their wing and I initially appreciated meeting for lunch. However, they asked me to drive them to a short appointment before one of our lunches, and during the trip, they started screaming at me because I had taken a route they did not like. This completely rattled me. We arrived on time and I politely said they could drive to future appointments alone. We went on a tour with the group and this group member rushed me around to hide us from them, telling me to hurry so we could avoid certain people. They bad-mouthed the broader group and said, “Believe me they won’t like you.” I have since eased away from this person and they are extremely angry. They have called and angrily accused me of not staying in touch. I told them I’d been busy. I know ghosting is bad but I’ve seen the way they have loudly yelled at their family and others. I just need to be away from them. Is it too tacky to disappear?

Re: this is not a friend

  • In this situation, no.  I guess you could talk to the person, but from these stories, I don't think the experience is worth it.  It's not like a behavior change in a really good friend that you want to approach with concern.  
  • I know exactly who this type of person is. Don’t become their next captive bosom buddy of misery. Continue hanging out with other members of the group if you’ve enjoyed it, but you’re not obligated to talk or hang out with this person alone and I doubt any perspectives would be changed from a conversation. Likely everyone in the group already knows about their personality and behavior. 


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  • Ghosting is not always bad. I mean sure, it would be fucked up to ghost someone you'd been dating for 2 years. But this? This is a perfect time to ghost. 

    You don't owe everyone a breakup conversation. 
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