Your sis is ridiculous
Dear Prudence,
My sister and I have five girls between us. She has four and I have one, “Susan.” We always had low-key family birthdays with a few additional children over. Neither of us wants to indulge in elaborate kid birthday parties.
The problem is that Susan is the oldest and has expressed distaste for these celebrations and wants to do more involved activities with her friends. And even the least expensive option is pretty pricey. We don’t make a lot so throwing down $500 for two hours at an indoor activity park or ice skating doesn’t make sense. We finally agreed that Susan could pick an activity with one or two friends—but now my sister is upset that her girls didn’t make the cut.
I pointed out that this was Susan’s choice and that she is growing up and wants to socialize with her actual peers rather than just her cousins. We see each other every week and can still have family parties. My sister claims her girls are heartbroken at being”rejected” like this. I feel this is disingenuous and she is milking the situation more than it is worth. She keeps bringing up the subject no matter what I tell her. I really don’t want to avoid family get-togethers. What now?
—Party Poor
Re: Your sis is ridiculous
"Sis, be real. Cousins can be great friends and become really close like peers as they grow up and the age gap closes. But the only way to let that happen is not to make a big deal of this and not expecting them to be peers now - when they're not. Please stop bringing this up to me and instead get your girls excited for the family time they do get to have with Susan."
Also, there's a disparity in economics here with the LW having one girl and her sister having FOUR.
This makes me think that these are really young girls with Susan at the top age of them. There's going to come a point where all of them are going to want to see the friends that they see in school, extracurriculars, etc.